Extremely Concerned :(

KutiePi · #1 10-15-2002, 01:40 PM

Okay, so I have a friend who is joining a national sorority on my campus. She has told me a few things that she is made to do and it is making me a bit angry.
I am a member of another national sorority and we are strictly non hazing. On our campus all new members have to leave the house by 10 pm. Last night she had just returned home from the house and at 11pm was called back.

Is it my duty as her friend and a greek on my campus to tell greek life that this is going on?

What should I do?

*sorry if this is vauge, but I am in a hurry to get to class! If you need me to elaborate I will!

Blaire · #2 10-15-2002, 01:49 PM

Dear KutiePi,
From what I understood, it sounds as though you think there is hazing going on. If you are concerned for your friend, then I most definelty think you should tell the Greek Life director or someone like that. I would also encourage you to talk to your friend about it. My one question is...is your friend in any physical harm? (not that it changes what I said before, it just makes the situation that much more serious!)

Good luck and keep posting if you need anymore help!!

Much greek love,
Blaire

XOMichelle · #3 10-15-2002, 03:48 PM

Has she talked to you about it?

Ask your friend if she enjoys what is going on. Who knows, maybe she's bummed to leave the house at 10pm. If she doesn't like it at all, I'd counsel her to go to someone within her chapter and ask about what is going on. Chances are they don't thik the pledges mind and don't think it's hazing. If that doesn't work, or there is a negative reaction then by all means go to the Greek Advisor. I'd see if th eproblem can be solved within the structure of the chapter first.
-M

(edited for clarity)

ilovemyglo · #4 10-15-2002, 05:16 PM

I don't know if all campuses and all orgs do this but every fall EVERY MEMBER and EVERY NEW MEMBER signs a contract essentially stating that if they know of hazing occuring and do not report it and it comes out then they will be prosecuted the same as if they had done it themselves. This ensures that the "tattle tail" idea is gone because you can be held responsible even if you didn't actually haze anyone.
Just keep this in mind if you find out there is something going on and choose not to report it.
Sarah

33girl · #5 10-15-2002, 05:24 PM

As Michelle said, maybe is having a good time and she doesn't want to leave the house at 10 PM...I would hate if a rule like that PREVENTED pledges from spending time with sisters if they wanted to.

Do you know why she was called at 11? She could have left her purse or something at the house.

Unless you see it with your own eyes, don't report it.

KutiePi · #6 10-15-2002, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Has she talked to you about it?

Ask your friend if she enjoys what is going on. Who knows, maybe she's bummed to leave the house at 10pm. If she doesn't like it at all, I'd counsel her to go to someone within her chapter and ask about what is going on. Chances are they don't thik the pledges mind and don't think it's hazing. If that doesn't work, or there is a negative reaction then by all means go to the Greek Advisor. I'd see if th eproblem can be solved within the structure of the chapter first.
-M

(edited for clarity)

She knows its hazing, and they even said to her one night that it was hazing... so they know theyre in the wrong too

ugh...

XOMichelle · #7 10-15-2002, 10:20 PM

oh dear!
And she doesn't like it? Hmm..

I guess I'd sit down and talk with her about it. Ask if she feels comfortable talking to the greek advisor or an advisor within the chapter (I know our advisors would be very helpful if someone went to them). I imagine that her complaints would be taken more seriously than yours since you are not a part of it directly.
Ask her about it.
-M
(I hope this helps!)

MsVixen · #8 10-16-2002, 02:58 AM

the hours sound wierd... i would say talk to her about it to see what is really going on.. maybe she was doing homework with a sister and then was called back because she left her book.. you never know...

if you think something is going on follow your gut and get to the root of the problem.. if you need to tell the greek advisor then do it... keeping hazing out of sororities is everyones' job

KutiePi · #9 10-16-2002, 07:28 PM

Okay, heres more today:

I talked to her, told her about the 10pm rule, in case she didnt know...

So... she told me that she was at the house from 12-2am and that shes really tired, she hates pledging but she loves her class and the sorority in general. She said she has no respect for her pledge mom now, because of everything. They had to sing to a fraternity, a demeaning song. She told me that if things get bad, she would get out. I in turn told her that if she goes through with it, to remember how she feels now when the next class goes through, and try to stop the hazing.

LeslieAGD · #10 10-16-2002, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KutiePi
Okay, heres more today:

She told me that if things get bad, she would get out.

I hate to see your friend continue doing things she feels uncomfortable with and thinking, "I'll just get out when I can't take it anymore."

CarolinaCutie · #11 10-16-2002, 09:30 PM

Oh my goodness! Well now you have your answer... we all tried to hope for the best, and assume that it wasn't hazing. But no matter the definition... THAT is hazing. Ilovemyglo is right... you need to report it, tattletale or no tattletale. You know what's going on and you are now held accountable.