18 Clues to Calling It a Night

[pbpck]

I know this post may be a bit tasteless, but it was an e-mail forward I got from a sister. It in no way should be taken as a reflection of greek life. I hope this post in no way causes us to back track in our fight for greek justice. This should only serve as a bit of humor to all those girls who have had "one of those nights." Guys, you are welcome to post your own version. Take it lightly and laugh on....

>18 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT
>YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN ...
>
>1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
>2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.
>3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.
>4. In your last trip to pee you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
>5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.
>6. You start crying for no apparent reason.
>7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
>8. You've found a deeper side to the four-eyed nerd that lives next door.
>9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
>10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
>11. You've forgotten where you live.
>12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now) you only smoke when you drink.
>13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
>14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
>15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
>16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
>17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
>18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).

LMFAO!

I've been known to do #7 and #16 a lot. I'm usually scheduled to work at 8AM Thursday mornings...yet I don't leave HRC until almost 3 or 4!!!

As for #3--about wanting to kick someone's ass--well, we've all had our share of "club molestors"...ya know, the jerks who randomly grab your butts as they're making their way through the club? Well, one night a big 200 lb. SAMOAN guy did that to me, I bitched at him and asked "Excuse me, a**hole, do I know you?" He says no...and I continue..."Then why the f are you touching my ass?". I then proceed to take off my shoes and jewelry and I start calling him out. The bouncer guy apparently thinks this is hilarious and he doesn't do anything for a while, but when it looked like I was ready to throw down he told the Samoan guy to hurry up and leave.

I know I'm going to have to add on to this list!

[ZTAngel]

Yeah, little me has thought I could beat up a 200 pound guy when I was drunk. A whole verbal argument escalated until a guy that I went to the club with grabbed me by the waist and dragged me off the dance floor.
But, #4, that is something I have done a few times. And, I was never one to pull a #6. I always laughed at girls who did that. But, a few months back, there was this girl at a party I went to at my boyfriend's fraternity house who has a HUGE crush on my boyfriend. The whole night she was trying to hang off of him. She even went as far as to bend over right in front of him (I was standing at his side) and she turns around and asks him, "Oh, was my thong sticking out?" UGH! I was like, "Oh...that was classy." A few hours later she was puking in the bathroom. I couldn't find my boyfriend anywhere. All the sudden, I broke down into tears. I kept saying to one of my sisters who was with me, "He's with her! He's rubbing her back as she barfs and he's telling her that he loves her!" My sis went to go find him. He happened to be in the chapter room talking with one of the pledges. I felt like such an idiot when he came and sat down next to me and I had to explain to him why there was mascara running down my face and my eyes were bright red. It was then that we decided it was time to go home.

[nucutiepie]

That was hilarious!

#1 and #13 (although never to the bartender, just to my friends) sound a little too familiar for comfort!!!

[pbpck]

Maybe a 19th?

19. You decide to call your ex boyfriend to "see what he's up to" and tell him where you are. Who cares if he's gone home to his parent's place for the weekend...it's only 2:07 AM!

Ahhh...drunk dials.

[PhiMuNursie]

I think we've all had a few too many of "those" kind of nights.

But one story reminded me of the time we all went out for a sister's birthday and my lil sister decided she could physically lift my 6'8", 350 pound offensive line size boyfriend. She and him ended up falling on the nasty floor. I was too busy laughing and trying to help her up to realize everyone in the bar had witnessed it! We left not long after that lovely display of drunk fun.

Ok, enough stories, just wanted to add something.

Tara

Originally posted by pbpck
Maybe a 19th?

19. You decide to call your ex boyfriend to "see what he's up to" and tell him where you are. Who cares if he's gone home to his parent's place for the weekend...it's only 2:07 AM!

Ahhh...drunk dials.

I am famous for this. The clubs here close at 4 in the morning... but I've been known to go through my phone book and call my random male friends to come and get breakfast with me.

Many of them know that they should turn their phones off on the weekends to avoid getting a random phone call from me. They're smart.

[juniorgrrl]

20. You've fallen asleep in someone else's bathroom. With the door locked.

I'm famous for doing that at my boyfriend's place. Thankfully, the lock on the door is pickable, so he can get me out of there.

Once, after a particularly strong round of daquiris (bacardi 151 = BAD), I was so sick, he had to keep me from putting my head down ON the potty.

I'm also a singer. When my guy has a get-together at his place, it always turns into Karaoke. And I always am convinced I AM Britney Spears. Thankfully, I'm not the only girl there that gets that way

[pbpck]

Originally posted by juniorgrrl
20. You've fallen asleep in someone else's bathroom. With the door locked.

I was so sick, he had to keep me from putting my head down ON the potty.

Hahaha! Oh reminds me of a night of classy Merlot sipping ... classy and peaceful until a girlfriend called me out to a girls night of drunken rowdiness. After a few shots of vodka and maybe a few too many shooters my ex turns up at her house with a bunch of his fraternity brothers. Well...as my life is the epitome of Murphy's law...I got horridly ill (a rarity), and end up sitting at the toilet. Somehow I had commanded one of his bros who was attempting to help me out to go get him. He shows up at the doorway and I have a change of heart and tell him to go away (Terrible break up). He stands firm and decides to ream me out. I decided I was tired of listening to him so I stuck my head INSIDE the toilet bowl and closed the lid! Of course I was not aware of this until my friend told me this the next morning. Most ludicrous night of liquor in my life and one I will never repeat!

[GmuTeke]

21. You are professing your undying love for everyone. Including your entire GLO. to quote my big bro when he was drunk "I joined the best f*ing fraternity EVER! We are the sh*t!"

All other conversations go as follows:

You: I just wanted you to know that you're my dawg, and I love you.
Your semi sober friend: Yes, I know
You: No no no, I mean i REALLY love you
Friend: Yes, I know
You: You're not getting this here, I mean i really REALLY love you.

Im a 7, 10, 16, 18 and 21....go figure.

[HeidiHo]

I should have know that this list would be funny as soon as I read #1. I take of my shoes and never find them every now and then. I still have reminders of halloween on the bottom of my feet. I thought it was a good idea to walk everywhere on campus barefoot. Of course I was feeling no pain that night, but the next day I was like "why the f do my feet hurt so bad?"
Whatever the next number is could be "You can't be the dealer in F@ck the dealer because you don't know what's higher or lower anymore." I still get crap about knowing my numbers because of one stinkin night.
H

[PKTSU01]

Originally posted by pbpck
Maybe a 19th?

19. You decide to call your ex boyfriend to "see what he's up to" and tell him where you are. Who cares if he's gone home to his parent's place for the weekend...it's only 2:07 AM!

Ahhh...drunk dials.

No no NOOO!

Scratch #19, this will piss off ANY guy to the point that if you were cool before, you now won't be. Guys HATE indecisive women. We are either together OR not, don't bring us into your drunkass/emotionally stupid world after we've broken up.

Not that I'm bitter mind you, but I've experienced this, SERIOUSLY pissed me off. I WANT TO SLEEP DAMN YOU!

actually, if you pretty much call anyone with that mess, they'll be pissed.

One of my "friends" decided to call me at school my freshman year, at 3:45am on a Friday drunk off her a$$. Taking me to the bathroom and everything with. I wasnrt happy at all, even though it wqas a lil funny. She's lucky it was our sprinf break and my roomate went home for the week or else all hell would have broke lose in my room.

[SparkliiQTMTSU]

I am soo known for the only smoking when Im drunk routine..b/c seriously I only smoke when I drink and I never have a lighter so I am bugging the crap out of everyone all night long!! I also have this weird urge to have long intimate conversations with people when Im a lil drunk....like people Im dating...not that I remember everything the next day!! I also call people all thru the night..."what youre sleeping???...Its only 4:30 am!!" LoL

Nichole