Daycare woes

[Tippiechick]

So, Max just started a new daycare after us keeping him home for a month to get well.

When I went for the tour, everything was great. Tuesday, when I dropped him off for his "get to know you" day, things were still pretty good.

But, today we had some probs.

1) When we came in, neither of the teachers even said hello to us. I had his diaper bag and his bag with his nebulizer in it on my shoulder. Plus, I was holding him on the other hip. The teacher who was up did not offer to help me with anything. I had to sit him down in the floor and get everything out of the diaper bag for them.
From the time I brought him in until the time I left (about 5 minutes), they never even acknowledged his presence. The only thing they said to me was, "Are his sippy cups labeled?" When I came back from filling out some paperwork, I looked in and he was still in the floor crawling around. They still had not paid him any attention.

2) When my husband went to pick him up, there were two girls that didn't even look 18 in there with the infants. What they hadn't told us on the tour and at enrollment was that his teachers leave at 4:45. So, for almost an hour, he would be with these young girls. My first concern was, "Are they going to be able to recognize an asthma attack if he has one?" Do they even know that he is to get a treatment if he starts having an attack?

3) The girls did not ask for any ID from my husband. This was the first time he'd EVER been there. He just walked in and said he was picking Max up. They said, "Ok," and got his stuff ready for him. That is a major violation...

4) I know that Max is pulling up and will have spills, but on his FIRST day back, he came home with an accident report. He fell and hit his head so hard that he has a knot. Max is the oldest one in the infant room. He's nine months and the others are all about 3-5 months. So, I am seriously concerned that they are spending the majority of the time caring for the little ones. I think they are letting him crawl around the floor all day because it's an easy way to get him out of their hair. He has NO ONE to play with all day. They are too small to interact with him at all. And, the teachers are seeing to them.

I am so pissed off. Things seem so different from when we enrolled him on Tuesday.

So, I am going to talk with the director tomorrow about the situation. We are in the two-week trial enrollment phase. So, if she doesn't satisfy my concerns, then we're pulling him out and weighing our options.

I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THIS HARD TO FIND QUALITY CHILDCARE.

I just had to vent. If I didn't I was going to have to just sit and bawl.

[ZTAMich]

Originally posted by Tippiechick


3) The girls did not ask for any ID from my husband. This was the first time he'd EVER been there. He just walked in and said he was picking Max up. They said, "Ok," and got his stuff ready for him. That is a major violation...

I'm sorry you had such a bad first day. I'm not a parent but as a teacher I try to make things run smooth with the parent/teacher relationship. I'm sorry this is off to such a bad start for you, your husband and Max. You all deserve the best from your childcare providers and it's a shame this was a bad experience so early on.

I can't tell you what to do in terms of telling on them or not, but as an NYC teacher, this brought up HUGE red flags for me. While my school doesn't require any kind of sign out procedure, even for my Pre-Ks, I think it's a major liabilty issue. I'm supposed to trust my students know who's coming to pick them up. I'm supposed to remember if there's anyone NOT supposed to pick up a student. It's too much sometimes when a new face comes! Another school I was at had a sign out procedure for K-2nd grade and while it was complicated, the school knew who each student was leaving with. A daycare with infants should be doing the same.

Hope what I said helped a little....

[CUGreekgirl]

I agree that the not asking for ID is a HUGE red flag, especially with infants since they cannot verbalize if they know the person or not. I worked at a daycare my last two years in highschool (in the infant room) and during the summers when I was home from college. I now sub for the daycare. The daycare i work at normally does not hire anyone under 18 since they cannot be in a room by themselves according to GA law. I was a RARE exception, in fact I believe I'm the only person under 18 the daycare has ever hired.

We IDed anyone we do not know, even if the kid calls them "gramma" or "grandpa" or whatever. You can never be too careful.

Definitely speak with the director since you are not satisfied. I know she would want to hear your concerns. If you still are not satisfied, find a new daycare for Max that you all can be happy with. Unfortunately good daycares are hard to find.

[honeychile]

Yikes!! My church's Sunday School has stricter guidelines!! We have to have an Act 33 (child molestation clearance), take a class, and each child is not only labelled on his or her back, but the parent is issued a ticket, which must match the log in number. And this is even when you recognize the parent, as we use a bar code type system.

Max being handed over so easily is reason enough to find a new day care - the asthma part just compounds the errors! If you've never dealt with asthma, it can be terribly scary - which is the worst thing for the baby. Truly, I hope you can get this settled quickly, or find a better day care facility!!

[DZTUBAGIRL]

Well it sounds like this is a childcare center type of thing. Personally I do not like childcare centers. There might be some that are great but most of the ones I have seen are horrible. With the amount of children these places have compared to the amount of teachers the children most of the time are pushed around like a herd of cattle. I don't know if you have even concidered home daycare but I would definately recommend looking into it. My mother has run a family childcare since I was born. I understand that not all family daycares are not that great but a majority of them are. The children get a lot more attention because you can only have so many children at one time. In the state of Maryland I think you can have like 7 children at one time with only two under 2 years old. I know I am a little biased but I know the children that come to my house and they really enjoy it. We all get close to these children and my mother treats them like they were her own. I can not say enough good things about home daycare. I know it's not for everyone but you should look into it. One thing to remember, if you do look into home daycare make sure they are licensed. A lot of people do daycare and are not licensed by the state. I hope you can find something you are and your son are happy with. Good luck! Sorry this post was so long...

[winnieb]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THIS HARD TO FIND QUALITY CHILDCARE.

Finding quality childcare is a NIGHTMARE!!! I have two kids, one in daycare fulltime and the other is in 1st grade and goes to daycare before and after school and summer. Both my kids started daycare at 6 weeks. I never realized how hard to can be-- we were lucky and used a daycare center that was owned by a lady I have known forever. However, she sold the business to an ass of a man. I don't like they way he does things, or his lack of people skills. We have gone at it many times.
The best advice I can give you-- be straight forward with the daycare director-- tell her what you expect-- and if need be, I have reminded my director several times that I am the parent- I pay the money (a grand a month for my two kids) and the parents have ultimate control-- they need my money to stay in business--and word of mouth is powerful (especially in a small town like mine!)

Good luck-- I know it is a tough position to be in-- also did you consider randomly stopping in over the next 2 weeks at different times of the day to observe.

-wendi

[kddani]

sadly, I think a great many daycares are like this. I worked in one for six months when I was 15 (yes, 15, not even legal to work more than a very limited amount... they doctored the paperwork!). We were investigated on several occasions.

Honestly, I would advise finding a private child care provider. My mother does it, she has 4 kids right now (2 sets of siblings- 2 2 year olds, 1 1 year old, and about a 7 month old). These kids get so much attention and love, it's more like a parent raising them. They're plenty ready for preschool when it comes time, and they all behave quite well b/c my mom is strict.

The bad thing is that this kind of arrangement is generally under the table. Well, that can be good and bad. You can't write off the expenses on your taxes, but then you don't have to worry about all the other BS that comes with having an "employee".

I have vowed to never put any babies that I may have in a daycare at least until they are probably around 3 1/2 or 4, when the social interaction with others really becomes important to their development. After working in a day care, and seeing how little attention the little ones get and sanitary issues, etc.... never. And the staff may even be wonderful and caring, but when you're overworked, you have way more kids than you're supposed to have for ratio (state mandated, varies by age group), you can only do so much. For example, shortly before I quit that job, I was in the room with the 1-2 year olds- the ones who could walk but weren't old enough for the 2 year old room yet. I generally had 7 or 8 kids and was the only one in there. The legal ration was 1 caretaker per 4 children for that age group. I hated it. No person has that many eyes or hands....

[Munchkin03]

The daycare my sister takes my nephew to requires that a PIN be entered before you're even allowed to go past the first door. Then, they're ID'd for at least the first few times and checked against a list of persons authorized to visit or take the child. The last daycare that the little guy went to didn't have that sort of protection and his paternal aunts felt as if they could come all the time to visit and take him out to lunch (give me a break, he was 3 months old at the time!).

One problem with homecare is that there is no legal protection for the provider. If a child is injured in your home and the parents sue you--you're basically shit out of luck. Also, taking your child to "someone's house" might not be advisable if the child has a serious condition. You can't ensure standards at someone's house. If there's a problem with a daycare center--you can complain to several different avenues--and you don't have that luxury with a housewife.

Does your area have a referral list for daycare providers who might be specially trained to deal with asthmatic babies? Have you spoken to friends who have had excellent experiences with daycare and can refer you where to go?

[Rudey]

You know how I would handle this situation?

I would rope my kid to something heavy. That way I know he couldn't run away and hurt himself.

I would leave him some food in a bowl close by so he has enough to eat through the day.

I would also leave a television on PBS so he does some learning throughout the day.

What else? I think that's it.

Rudey's Day Care System!!!

-Rudey

[jhujenn]

I'm so sorry about your daycare situation! I think what you need to do is sit down and make a list of the things that you want out of daycare for Max and find a place that meets the criteria. I'm not going to say that Mr. Jhujenn and I love the daycare we have our son in, but the issues we have with it we can mitigate. I think it's very important if at all possible to have someone go over and check on him during the day. Desmond is in daycare right across the street from where I work and four stops away from dad so we are both over there at lunch everyday. This was very important to us. We also wanted a secure facility with definite sign-in/sign-out policy. No one can get in the facility without knowing the code for the door and your child still has to be signed in/out. This was important because we both work in DC I'm not even going to talk about the crazy people here.

There are problems and we have immediately addressed those with the director and we have also done our part to mitigate any problems we may have. Some people might not think parents should have to do anything with regards to daycare, but I look at it like he is still our child we just loan him out for a couple of hours everyday while we go to work.

I would also ask friends who they would recommend I don't really know how many options you have where you are.

[SDTSarah]

Not that I have any children of my own, but I had a great daycare experience. My parents put me into daycare when I was about 2 1/2, and I still remember it! We lived in Miami at the time, and I stayed with about 5 other kids with this fantastic Cuban woman. She used to make us rice, beans, plantains...yum...
In fact, I started speaking Spanish at home to confuse my parents.

From my own experience, as well as the experience of my half-brother (he's 5 now), I would say that a private home is best. Your son will probably get more attention that way, too. I know it's hard to find a good child care provider, but that seems like the best way to go.

If all else fails, maybe Rudey can help you out.

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by Rudey
You know how I would handle this situation?

I would rope my kid to something heavy. That way I know he couldn't run away and hurt himself.

I would leave him some food in a bowl close by so he has enough to eat through the day.

I would also leave a television on PBS so he does some learning throughout the day.

What else? I think that's it.

Rudey's Day Care System!!!

-Rudey

Is your kid's name Fido or Fluffy?

[AOPIHottie]

I am so sorry your having issues! I am not a mom myself, but I have been a preschool/toddler teacher for two years, and I understand how upsetting it is to thinkyour child is not being looked after properly. I personally would want to take him out just for the no-id thing. I agree with stopping in randomly, as well as talking to other parents about what they think about the center.
And if you decide to take him out, then when looking for another center, spend a week randomly stopping in to look around, and talking to parents who are there. If the center has a problem withg you doing that, I would look somewhere else. Unfortunantly not every center follows the guidlines they should. I know in texas there is a website that will list centers and any reports/inspections/violations that have occured according to the Dept Child Regulatory services. Perhaps you can find a site like that. Good luck!

[Tippiechick]

I wanted to give a quick update.

Max was hospitalized again, this time with pneumonia. His pediatrician thinks he caught it from a sick child at the daycare. We'd pulled him from his old daycare because he kept getting sick.

So, we've pulled him.

Since I work for my parents, I have more flexibility than most. I'll stay home with him during the week. I'll work on weekends when my husband is off work.

It'll be really nice since I'll be able to spend time with Max. I know I can teach and take care of him better anyway.

Thanks y'all for all of the great advice.

[angelic1]

I see that you have pulled him out of daycare, which was probably good in your case, but I still wanted to make comments on your post.

I worked in a daycare (two different ones) for about four years, so I have seen the gammit of issues, good and bad of both centers. Since this will turn long I will just address two of you issues.

1. The teachers should have interacted with him the second you brought him into the room to make the transition easier, plus should have spoken to you. I would find this odd and warning about things that go on during the day when you are not there if they are acting like that when you are around.

2. I'm not sure what the state law on this is. One of the girls could have been over 18, but hypothectically if you are uncomfortable with someone of that age with a baby then that should be addressed. As far as recognizing an asthma attack, I'm sure you spoke with them about this beforehand. For this reason they should only having someone watching him who is trained in this area and would know what to do. I always have to take CPR and first aid classes, but a time when I had a child who had type 1 diabetes, he was hyperglycemic, so his mom came in and taught four of us everything we needed to know and one of us was always with him.

Normal daycares are just not really suited for children who require extra special attention. In order for the center to stay in business they need to have the maximum number of children in the room per teacher as the state law madates. If they choose to have a lower child/teacher ratio the cost of attendance will go up dramatically. Thats not saying that the children wont get attention, a teacher will just not have the time to monitor one child as needed the entire day when there are ten others in the room.
(Personallly this is why I won't put my children in center until they reach a certain age-I know that most people don't have the choice though).