Rush Chairs - Just say "THANK YOU"

AXO Alum · #1 06-25-2002, 10:15 AM

Okay -- recently I sent off several letters for several young women entering colleges with greek systems. Unfortunately, it seems that none of the colleges these women are attending seem to have an AXO chapter!! But - because I am GREEK first and believe in promoting unity among all orgs, I did the RIGHT thing and sent a letter of reference for these young women.

Now I know that technically I CANNOT WRITE A REC LETTER for any woman to any other chapter besides AXO. So instead I wrote what I consider to be a letter of reference (the same as with a job resume, etc.) I think this shows a great deal of character on the part of these young women. I am openly saying "DANG - if AXO can't have them, somebody needs them! They are this good!" Wouldn't you think that that would mean something to these chapters?!

Instead I get about 3 letters back saying "Thank you, but since you aren't an XYZ we can't consider these women!" -- Ummm - okay then. Be my guest and DON'T consider them -- I will make sure that these women know from the start which orgs sent these letters to me which may make their choices a lot easier

One letter I got says "Sorry, we can't accept a rec from a non XYZ, but we will be looking for Jane this fall and will certainly consider her for membership. And I'll be sending you a card to let you know where she went after rush is over." -- ANYONE HERE SEE THAT THIS IS DOUBLE TALK?! If you can't accept a rec from a non XYZ (which WASN'T a rec in the first place!) then why bother to send the rest saying they will consider her!!! (Which is the whole point!!)

I will stop my little rant for now, but to all you Recruitment Chairs, Rec Chairs, etc... I offer the age-old advice to just say "Thank you!" and let your private internal affairs be PRIVATE. There was absolutely NO POINT in sending me these letters to say "we can't accept your reference" -- when in essence, I wouldn't know if they were tossed in the can from the start. A simple "THANK YOU FOR BEING CONSIDERATE OF THE GREEK SYSTEM" would certainly be appropriate.

AOX81 · #2 06-25-2002, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXO Alum
There was absolutely NO POINT in sending me these letters to say "we can't accept your reference" -- when in essence, I wouldn't know if they were tossed in the can from the start. A simple "THANK YOU FOR BEING CONSIDERATE OF THE GREEK SYSTEM" would certainly be appropriate.

I couldn't agree with you more. They must be a little paranoid or something. Maybe somebody in the past sent recommendations for people that were awful...who knows? But still, they don't need to be rude about it.

I'm glad we didn't deal with recommendations at the university that I attended.

LeslieAGD · #3 06-25-2002, 07:35 PM

Personally, I think the second letter was much nicer. It's like saying "Even though you're not an XYZ, we appriciate you bringing So-and-So to our attention." The second letter made it sound like they wouldn't consider the PNM instead of not considering the letter.

AXO Alum · #4 06-26-2002, 08:34 AM

Its not that the letters weren't "nice" -- but they were pointless. Yes, I know that they can't accept a rec from me (heck - I can't even technically WRITE a rec for non-AXO chapters) - but the rest of their "explanation" was pointless. For those who said that they couldn't consider those women, okay then - whatever. For the other letter, I just thought it was stupid to say "Unfortunately we are unable to accept a rec....BUT we will be looking for Jane and will let you know where she goes" -- it was like saying "I can't accept that its raining outside because you aren't a meterologist - but I'll be sure to bring my umbrella!"

My whole point is that I didn't need the other info - if you can't consider someone, then don't. But there is no need to send me letters with double talk when essentially I would never be the wiser to where the letters end up. I don't discuss what our chapter does with rec and reference letters because its considered private AXO business. But, I can tell you that anytime we receive these letters, we send a thank-you to the women for taking the time to write. Not to make her feel like she did something "wrong" by saying "unfortunately..." -- just a thank-you.

phimualumnc · #5 06-26-2002, 09:34 PM

Thank you AXO Alum. Greek unity is the key. I'd be thrilled to see a letter of reference from any Greek for a young woman coming to our university. Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it's time to pull the Miss Manners book out and go over some basics. :-)

DNTKE · #6 06-27-2002, 12:09 AM

As Greeks, we tend to be territorial while in our undergrad years and not see the whole picture. As an alum now, I would think that a recommendation from a fellow greek is definetly a lead on a "Hot Prospect."

Should they not choose to utilize the info. you have sent, that's their problem and their loss.

In my book, a lead on a top prospect is a great thing!
(can you tell I'm now in sales?)

I'm just a fraternity alum, but couldn't resist a reply.

(By the way, I do have a recommendation for a new freshman, but my chapter is not represented at the campus he is attending.....I guess I'll just not recommend him and in a few months I'll find out he never was rushed? Pretty brilliant philosophy eh?" As we all know, that can affect not only your college experience, but the rest of your life!)

FuzzieAlum · #7 06-27-2002, 11:55 AM

I don't know that they were being rude. For some chapters, a proper letter of recommendation may have a certain weight attached to it (it may really increase a rushee's chances), and they just wanted to make sure you understood that it would not have that same impact. I'm sure they've dealt with girls who have been rejected and their recommenders threw a fit (how could you not take her! I wrote a letter! she's great!) and were just trying to head that off.

Especially the letter you said was double talk - I thought that was a very polite appropriate letter!

AXO Alum · #8 06-27-2002, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by phimualumnc
Thank you AXO Alum. Greek unity is the key. I'd be thrilled to see a letter of reference from any Greek for a young woman coming to our university. Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it's time to pull the Miss Manners book out and go over some basics. :-)

Exactly my point -- I feel the same way when we receive letters from other chapters not represented on campus.

imsohappythatiama · #9 07-02-2002, 05:22 PM

AXO Alum--

The next time you send out these "letters of reference" (which is a fine idea), perhaps you should add a paragraph at the top or bottom of the letter that reads something like this:

I realize that as an initiated, alumna member of AXO, I am unable to write an official recommendation of Polly PNM to XYZ. However, as a member of the Greek community, I wanted to offer this letter of reference attesting to Polly's capacity for loyalty, kindness and dedication. Any NPC sorority would be lucky to accept Polly as a new member... from one Greek to another, I sincerely hope you and your chapter will keep an eye out for Polly as she makes her way through Recruitment this semester.

Panhellenically,

AXO Alum

You're right, the letters you received could have been worded more ... shall we say... delicately. (they are a bit condescending). But the other letter you received was well within the bounds, I think.

You may consider it double-speak (to borrow from Orwell), but in fact it is not.

I assume you wrote your letter to ensure that the PNM in question would get a "second look" during Recruitment--that someone might see her name before the rounds and remember her during voting, or go out of their way to meet her, etc.

All that 2nd letter said was that:
(1) We can't consider your letter as a rec (a fact which you already understood), and

(2) We'll be sure to give Polly a look when she comes through (which, when you get down to it, is really the expected outcome you hoped for when you wrote your letter.)

It might be a little case of CYA on the chapter's part, but as Recruitment Adviser, I say "More CYA now, less boo hoo later."

Next time, just clarify why you're writing the letter. I'm sure inundated Recruitment Chairs will then have a better handle on why you are writing.

PsychTau · #10 07-04-2002, 12:28 AM

Quote:

It might be a little case of CYA on the chapter's part, but as Recruitment Adviser, I say "More CYA now, less boo hoo later."

I agree. I think the letters were a CYA on the chapter's part (Lord knows we don't need rush infractions for "accepting an illegal rec"!) The last letter you quoted was more of the desired outcome, even though it could have been worded better.

Sometimes I wonder if the collegians can view things "Panhellenically". To me (being an alum), I would help ANY chapter on ANY campus in order to keep the Greek system afloat. I guess when your in the middle of it, it's too hard to think outside of the "competitive" box. (I remember helping my chapter with rush one year, and one member was upset because a friend of hers was cut. I remember talking with her about these choices are sometimes for the best, but they will always be Panhellenic sisters, and that will give them a bond as well. I hope she really absorbed what I was trying to say)

Thank you AXO Alum. That was a very Panhellenic, caring thing to do. Hopefully more people will read this thread and begin looking at things in a different light.