Having a problem with a sister

binks · #1 08-10-2002, 07:14 PM

Hey Phi Sigs out there!

I have a problem! I have a sister in my chapter that i have a huge problem with and my chapter is small so it is noticeable at events. We can't even be in the same room with each other. She doesn't really come to anything, but complains that we don't invited her to stuff when we do things outside of sorority events. We did but she never called us. She sent our chapter a nasty e-mil talking about how we never tried and stuff and how she was gonna disaffiliate. Techically We should have never initiated her cause she didn't fill the requirements of our chapter. She still owes the chapter $400 dollars! Last time the Archon talked to her she said she was gonna stay, which i hate to say upsets me. I just don't like her and when i get pissed off like after things she has said to me, i have NO toleration for her. We have been sent to J-board for this, but it still has not helped, my action plan is i have to do an activity with her, but the agreement was that 2 sisters will be in the room cause they honestly think we will try to kill each other. My advisor knows i am upset because I love my chapter and my sorority! I am MRC and Philantrophy chair.I am really close to everyone in my chapter except for her.i don't know what to do?

phisigsigchic · #2 08-11-2002, 07:48 PM

Trust me, in every chapter, there is always someone like that. Usually a lot of people don't like her and almost everyone realizes they made a mistake in taking her in as a sister. Either way, you now have to live with it. What I say is try talking to her. Tell her, look we don't have to like each or be best friends, but we do have to respect each other especially because we are sisters. Respect is very important. Like I said, you don't have to like her but you have to respect her. I think if you came to her and talked, you guys could work a lot of your problems out. She still might not be your favorite sister, but at least you could be in the same room together. If she still won't listen, at least you could say to the rest of your chapter, look I tried and if things get really bad, maybe she will disaffliliate or you the chapter could take some extreme measures (like a whole chapter intervention). Hope this helps!

MooseGirl · #3 08-20-2002, 11:24 PM

we had a similiar situation this year. we ended up asking the two to a mediation with me(as alum) and the advisor. It helped a bit but not much. I could easily have laid blame to one sister than the other for their problems, but it was just who she is, her personality, so there wasn't much we could do but ask them both to try and tolerate each other more.
Howver, in your case maybe a mediation would help...sometimes J-board can help with this, but if you want to keep your sisters out of it ask your advisor or another alum to sit down with the two of you
(and remember to use "I" statements

)

LITP

AstralJoy · #4 10-06-2002, 10:53 PM

Is she behind this semester 400 and not on a payment plan? If not she needs to be on step 1 with J-board. Talk to your MAL.

binks · #5 10-12-2002, 04:44 PM

just a update on the problem with the sister

She ended up not coming to recruitment and she has decided to leave the chapter.