How standards in our society have deteriorated!

aephi alum · #1 09-04-2002, 05:54 PM

Last night, for the first time in a long time, I saw a family ejected from a restaurant for poor behavior. This is a good thing, but what's bothering me is just how bad their behavior had to get before they were shown the door.

The group was a man and his two preteen daughters, and they were, unfortunately, seated at the table next to the one my husband and I were at.

1. None of them met the restaurant's dress code. The dress code was clearly posted, in several places, as: jacket and tie for men, skirt/dress/slacks for women, and absolutely no tank tops, jeans, or sneakers. Dad was wearing a jacket, but no tie, and the top 2 buttons of his shirt were undone. Both girls were wearing tank tops and sneakers; one was also in jeans.

2. This isn't so much ejection-worthy as just boorish: There were some wonderful things on the menu, like steak, chicken, pasta, seafood, etc. What does dad order for his girls? Pizza and fries.

Now, if you have a 5-year-old who won't eat anything but pizza, that's ok, but a 12-year-old should at least be given the opportunity to try something that's not on the kiddie menu. Speaking of which, I saw no sign of a kiddie menu, and I know pizza wasn't on the regular menu, so the chef probably had to prepare it especially for them. And it wasn't like dad was being cheap - dinner was prix fixe.

3. The kids were running around the restaurant like wild animals. In a 3-year-old, that kind of behavior is semi-excusable if it happens once or twice, as long as the parents scold him, and take him outside if he continues to be disruptive. In a 12-year-old it shouldn't even happen once.

4. Now here's the really egregious part. When my husband and I sat down, we noticed a bottle of wine on this table. The two girls obviously were too young to drink; it was all for dad. We didn't really think anything of it; perhaps he intended to drink it slowly during dinner, linger over the last glass with his dessert, etc. That wasn't quite what happened... by the time the appetizers were finished, so was the wine. Seeing that he was out of wine, he ordered a second bottle! He was visibly intoxicated (I suspect he'd had something before starting in on the wine), but he was served anyway.

As they finished their main course, the waiter came over to them; I didn't hear what he said, but I surmise that he was asking them politely to leave. So dad bolted his glass of wine like it was water and he'd just run a marathon

and staggered toward the door, daughters in tow.

Ugh.

25 years ago they wouldn't have been allowed in the restaurant in the first place, for not meeting the dress code. Now the guy's drunk and letting his kids run wild, and they don't even cut him off?? And is it so wrong of me to think that preteens should be able to behave themselves in a restaurant??

</rant>

AchtungBaby80 · #2 09-04-2002, 06:11 PM

If I had ever behaved like that in public, my parents would personally see to it that my butt was toast.

Dionysus · #3 09-04-2002, 06:24 PM

Yes they have! I'm glad that kind of stuff doesn't bother me, matter of fact there are times that I am amused to watch people making fools of themselves.

h2oot · #4 09-04-2002, 06:25 PM

This may get some negative razzzz, but I hate to see guys eating in a restaurant wearing a baseball cap. I also hate when guys wear one and sit in front of me in the movie threater. They're tall enough to see over as it is. I usually ask them to take it off which usually gets me a "nasty look."

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 09-04-2002, 06:30 PM

#1 & 2 don't bother me that much. #3 is annoying. #4 is downright dangerous. No wonder the children are badly behaved. I feel sorry for those children. They haven't been taught right from wrong. When I was a little girl, my mother taught my sisters and me how to behave. When we would complain that other children didn't have to do those things, she said that one day we would be grateful. She was right!

ThetaGirl1997 · #6 09-04-2002, 06:34 PM

I work in a restaurant and interact with the general public on a daily basis. There are lots of nice, decent people out there, but there are just as many who are rude, demanding, manner-less, etc, etc. And it's not just kids. Older people always complain that the younger generations have no manners, etc, but I have encountered so many older folks who are much worse than the teenagers. Has anyone else ever noticed this?? As far as the father drinking two bottles of wine before driving his children home, this happens a lot. I have no problem with people having a drink or two with dinner and then driving home. I assume these people know their own limits and will stop drinking before they become intoxicated. The people who come into the restaurant with their children and sit at the bar for three hours (yes, this happens quite often) have no business reproducing. One woman comes in and parks her stoller beside her bar stool. The thing that amazes me is that none of the other bar guests find this disturbing. Anyhow, I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

KillarneyRose · #7 09-04-2002, 06:35 PM

My Thoughts on This

1. It irks me when people don't dress properly when they go somewhere. I remember being a little girl and putting on my sunday best for a plane trip and now people fly looking just like they rolled out of bed onto the airplane. I can't cite them, but I know studies have been done that show people "behave" better when they are dressed in a less casual manner.

2. I can't imagine my daughters behaving like that in a restaurant and they are 5 and 7. They're not perfect, but they have been taught to behave when they're out in public. Obviously, those girls in the restaurant are lacking a proper role model.

3. I was always taught that it is poor manners for a man to wear a hat of any kind (except something with religious connotations like a yarmulke) indoors. Do these folks think they're Garth Brooks or something?

4. I also normally enjoy watching people make fools of themselves! However, if I am paying $100 for a nice, quiet dinner in a good restaurant, I prefer a more peaceful atmosphere.

33girl · #8 09-04-2002, 09:19 PM

This one is the restaurant's fault. They should have never let them in in the first place if they didn't meet the dress code. After letting them slack on that, they got what they deserved.

James · #9 09-04-2002, 09:31 PM

In general I understand your rant . . . I kind of want what I want when I want it. ITs one of my more endearing traits lol.

So if I want to drink in the ambience of a nice restraunt, I would rather have people die than ruin my time. *shrug*

But thats just me. And I guess you

.

However, I do remember this story by LEadership Guru Stephen Covey, where he talks abotu a ride ona train.

On the train there was a man sloppily dressed sitting with apparent non-concern as his two children ran around wild.

Finally, after minutes of this aggravation, Covey turns to the guy and makes an ascerbic comment.

The guy looks over slowly and apologizes.

It turns out that his wife, the kids mother, had just died in the hospital and he was kind of distracted . . .

I am not condemning any of you for jumping to conclusions based on your personal comforts, but personally I like to cut other people a little slack because I don't know their story.

But hey! We all have different approaches to problems

.

Have a nice day

.

Hootie · #10 09-04-2002, 10:37 PM

What was the restraunt you ate at? I'm just curious!

Hootie

DeltAlum · #11 09-05-2002, 01:31 AM

OK, I'm old fashioned about manners. I still stand when being introduced, or when a woman leaves or comes to a table. I still like to open doors for my wife. I like to act like a gentleman.

I think that it's important to consider how our actions in public (or our childrens) affect others in the same setting. In my mind, it's not OK to make someone else uncomfortable and ruin their experience.

Finally, every generation of American male -- at least up through mine -- was taught that you take your hat off inside and in other circumstances. Call it manners. Call it etiquite. Call it old fashioned. Whatever. Men wearing hats through dinner, inside, when the National Anthem is playing, when they meet a woman, in a movie just drives me crazy.

To many (most) of us "older" men, it's just plain lazy and ill mannered.

((edit))

Oh, what the heck, while I'm on my soap box I may as well really rant. In my opinion, there is no good excuse for using profane language in the public -- which I would define as being around people you don't know. The use of language has liberalized quite a bit in recent years -- but "the public" is not always made up of members of later generations -- and a whole lot of our population is highly offended by bad language.

By the way, I think of this bulletin board as "public."

KillarneyRose · #12 09-05-2002, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
On the train there was a man sloppily dressed sitting with apparent non-concern as his two children ran around wild.....It turns out that his wife, the kids mother, had just died in the hospital and he was kind of distracted . . .

I look at it this way, James...if I died tomorrow, I could meet my Maker knowing that the two children I've raised know better than to run around wild in a public place. That's why teaching manners to your children should be done early. You don't want to kick the bucket and inflict ill-mannered brats on the ones left behind.

written with tongue-in-cheek (well, sorta!)

justamom · #13 09-05-2002, 07:59 AM

I agree, the actions of people in public has deteriorated to the point where is bordering on being offensive. Hubby and I go out to dine three or four times a month. We order
Two appetizers @ $6.00 each.....................12
Two entree @ $12.00 (average) each..........24
Four glasses of wine @ $4.50 each............18
One dessert @ $5.00.................................5
Now add tax and tip-(20%) All this to sit next to loud obnoxious drunks and screaming kids!?! I can stay at home, turn on a Jerry Springer tape, pop a couple of Boston Market's in the microwave and open a bottle of beer for a lot less

We were pretty picky on when and where we took the kids. You dress them up and expose them to a "refined" atmosphere when you know you can get in and out in a very short amount of time so they LEARN with a minimum of distraction.

Bottom line-I agree that the people should NEVER have been allowed IN the restaurant. Instead of good PR for one family, they may have lost 3 regular customers.

Hootie · #14 09-05-2002, 10:03 AM

You know, I was just thinking about this thread some more and I relized when I was little, the fanciest place my parents ever took us kids to was an italian buffet called Valentino's. It wasn't fancy and you don't have to dress up, but even back then I knew better than to act up in a restraunt. Even at the McDonalds I didn't act up. My parent's couldn't afford to take a family of 6 to a fancy-shmancy place...but we still knew our manners.

What is society teaching (or not teaching) kids these days?

Hootie

Dionysus · #15 09-05-2002, 10:13 AM

Think that's bad, think about the actual WORKERS in a restaurant behaving badly. A month ago, one of servers turned 21, so she had a little party with some co-servers, bartenders, and a few kitchen workers in our bar area. Needless to say, about two hours later there was yelling, arguing, crying, stumbling, broken glasses, etc. It was like Jerry Springer. I felt so sorry for the managers who witnessed it, they were so embarrassed.