Arranged Marriage

sigmagrrl · #1 08-26-2002, 01:36 PM

Is there anyone here who would agree to an arranged marriage? Is there anyone here who has been witness to one (personally involved or know someone who was/is in one)? What have you noticed as the pros/cons....I was talking to a bunch of friends the other day and they all had mixed emotions. I think because my relationship with my mother is so strong, I would completely trust her to arrange a marriage for me in this day and age. Just wonder what other modern day folks think about this lost practice....

Corbin Dallas · #2 08-26-2002, 04:03 PM

My roommate/fraternity brother from sophomore year's parents are from Malaysia, and were an arranged marriage (I'm pretty sure, about 90%) and they are still together, some 25 years later.

I know another lady that was a mail order bride, and I think she divorced her husband after probably 30 years and remarried.

PandaOnProzac · #3 08-26-2002, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Corbin Dallas
My roommate/fraternity brother from sophomore year's parents are from Malaysia, and were an arranged marriage (I'm pretty sure, about 90%) and they are still together, some 25 years later.

I know another lady that was a mail order bride, and I think she divorced her husband after probably 30 years and remarried.

My parents are family friends with my neighbors from waaaaaay back in the Phillipines. My parents love their daughter and they ALWAYS ask me about why I don't go for her. Then they list the reasons why she's SOOOOOO great. It doesn't help either that I went to HS Prom with her. Although it's not an arranged marriage it almost feels like it cuz when my social life becomes the topic of conversation I know they're wanting her to be my significant other. It doesn't help either that we're both in SoCal UCs.

aephi alum · #4 08-26-2002, 07:43 PM

I would never agree to an arranged marriage. This is mainly because (1) I don't like the idea of giving up control of who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, and (2) my parents had a very specific plan for my life, which I have largely diverged from, and so any mate they might have selected for me would be totally unsuitable.

A family friend (of my parents' generation) did have his marriage arranged for him, and he and his wife were very happy together. So it can work out very well... but it's not for me. My husband and I arranged our own marriage, dang it

APhi · #5 08-26-2002, 08:03 PM

I used to work with a young Indian American man who participated in a modern day arranged marriage. His parents placed an ad in an Indian newspaper then flew him to India to meet the approved prospective brides. He ended up meeting a strong, opinated young woman who told him off the first time they met. She ended up being one of the women presented to him as a potential bride. He picked her and they were married shortly thereafter.
As far as I know, they are getting along wonderfully and are approaching their two year anniversary. His younger brother on the other hand would never agree to participate in something like this and may be the first in his family to marry a non-Indian.
As a side note: It seemed that the biggest struggle they faced was getting her visa's approved to move to America. Apparently it was this six month long ordeal where Raj was married but living without his wife. She eventually arrived and moved in with his family.
I remember being kind of suprised by the whole thing since I'd never witnessed a modern arranged marriage before. However, it seems to have gone exceptionally well.

#6 08-26-2002, 08:12 PM

I'm actually a product of an arranged marriage.

My father was born and raised here in Hawaii and my mom came from a province in the northern Philippine Islands. My dad used to over to my great-aunt's house to play poker from time to time when he was approached by my great-aunt to marry my mom in order to bring her to the States. They married shortly after and she came in 1973 in that big wave of Filipino immigrants to the US.

They weren't going to stay together that long because it really was just an arranged marriage...so they were just going to divorce once she became a citizen...because she was only 21 and my dad was in his late 40s. That was the norm I think in arranged marriages.

But something happened...I guess they really did fall in love...and things were really perfect when they had me in 1979. Just kidding.

RockChalk · #7 08-26-2002, 08:12 PM

When I was in high school, I had a friend whose folks were born in India. Their marriage was arranged. His mom was actually dead-set against the idea at first - she wanted to marry for love. But her parents begged and pleaded, so agreed to go on a date with the guy they'd picked. As it turned out, they liked each other a great deal, and they're still together 20-some years later.

sigkapdancer · #8 08-26-2002, 09:00 PM

[QUOTE]
[ I think because my relationship with my mother is so strong, I would completely trust her to arrange a marriage for me in this day and age.

Um, no. I would never let my parents pick out a guy for me to casually date--forget marriage for the rest of my life!

moe.ron · #9 08-27-2002, 05:46 AM

What about that millionaire that got married on TV?