not so nice

Billy Optimist · #1 03-19-2001, 03:02 PM

Okay, I think I need some advice. I want to rush next semester, but I am known as a nice guy. Not just a regular nice guy, but a nice guy to girls, like I'm the one they tell problems too, and think of me as their friend. I know that guys, especailly ones I'm just meeting for the first time, either see this as me moving in on their territory, cuz oftentimes the girls are the guys boyfriends, or that I might be gay. I have nothing agaist being gay but I go to a small college in a small town in a traditionally conservetive state, and if there is a question about that i think it might hurt me. Also, being a theater major doesn't help either. So I guess my question is, how can I be less of a nice, sweetheart guy. I've tried being a jack ass, but it back fired. I felt bad about it and apoligized. So how do I be less of a sweetie? Another thing I think I have working against me is my appearance. I well, to be honest, I look like a hitman. People have told me this. My friends, my teachers, tell me I look like I could work for the mob. One of my best friends in HS told me that when people first meet me, I scare the $hit out of them, but then when they know me i'm a really nice guy. And I can't smile cuz then I look dumb cuz I have dimples. Not just in the normal places, i have a couple that are off to the side and look goofy. Anyway, sorry to vent to everyone, I'm just really anxious about next semester. I really want to get in but i'm worried that I won't.

[This message has been edited by Billy Optimist (edited March 19, 2001).]

amycat412 · #2 03-19-2001, 03:05 PM

Billy,
Just be yourself. If you try to be something that you're not, that will show and you may end up in a house that is not right for you.
Don't worry about the way you look.

Personally, I love the hit man look.

Just relax and look for the group of guys you could call friends-- they are the ones that will appreciate your nice guy qualities.

being a nice guy is a GOOD thing. Do not change.

Amy

Billy Optimist · #3 03-19-2001, 03:39 PM

thanks Amy.

BrianMUDU · #4 03-19-2001, 03:42 PM

Listen to amy. You don't want to have to change to fit in with a fraternity or sorority. The reason I chose DU was because they acted genuine during rush -- not fake. They showed interest in me and I could see myself fitting in, and I made the right choice. If your school is not a big greek school and you don't have a lot of choices, just look anyway and see where you fit in. Act like you always do, because there is nothing worse than faking during rush, then finding out you joined a fraternity that gave you a bid only because you were acting like a jackass

Brian

BABELSUSA · #5 03-19-2001, 03:45 PM

hey Billy. I agree with Amy. You should be yourself no matter what. Changing yourself to be in a certain house, should tell you right there, that that is not for you. There is a reason you are a nice guy. There is a reason that these girls put so much trust into you and feel that they could talk to yu about their problems.Nothing should make you wanna change. These guys should let you feel that you can be yourself around them. I know you must want to be in this house really bad, but for the better, pick one that you can be you in.
Just out of curiosity, what IS the hitman look anyways???

gphi2k · #6 03-19-2001, 03:52 PM

On behalf of women everywhere Billy, if you are genuinely a nice guy (and you are), DON'T TRY TO BE AN A$$. There are enough genuine a$$es out there that there is no place in this world for super nice guys who wish they were a$$es.

Think of it this way, if you try to be an A$$, and a particular house thinks 'wow, this a$$ is our kinda guy!' and then you get in, you'll be a part of a house that values a$$es.

You seem like a really nice and genuine person. Do not, I repeat DO NOT compromise who and what you are to fit a mold that you are too good for. Would you rather be surrounded by men who value negative behaviour, or men who are nice and sincere, like yourself?

Think about it

.
Leslie

Billy Optimist · #7 03-19-2001, 07:13 PM

Thanks people, but I didn't mean changing who I was, or even how I acted that much, but I want to avoid being the girls best guy friend because it makes other guys nervous cuz they think i'm trying to steal them. And no one ever wants to bring it up, cuz then they sound like a jerk.

amycat412 · #8 03-19-2001, 07:32 PM

Well, I would hope the guys would know that about you if they were your friends-- as for guys you're just meeting-- how would they know you were such a draw for the ladies to talk to if they don't know you yet? And when they do get to know you, they'll know its innocent.

Billy Optimist · #9 03-19-2001, 08:03 PM

yeah mostly its their girlfriends before i meet them, but i Changed my attitude from earlier. Now i'm like, if they don't want me i don't want them. And if they wanted to be my brothers then they would like me how I am when they first meet me.

coffeemug · #10 03-19-2001, 09:13 PM

Also not to shock you but in any fraternity you join there are probably gay members, statistically speaking anyways. If they are out or not is another thing.

So if you are gay or straight you can still join a fraternity.

DGPhoney · #11 03-20-2001, 12:03 AM

oh my gosh you sound like such a nice person and I am sure you are, be yourself and have fun with the whole idea of rush,learn somethings, and gain from the experience of going through the whole thing. I believe you'll be an asett to any fraternity, and whichever one you might decide. Don't let simple things bother you , if they like you they like you, if not , their loss.
One and Always Much Love
Diana
Delta Gamma Pi Sorority

Miami1839 · #12 03-20-2001, 11:01 AM

Billy,

I agree very strongly with the ladies and with Brian. The ladies are very wise. Never change who you are. Remember, its a lifetime commitment. Its not like your getting into a lease agreement for a year, you can appease everyone, and then find a place somewhere else. You just need to be yourself and everything will happen naturally. If it doesnt then your better off without the group you'd try to impress by not being yourself. Dont change Billy

Your awesome the way you are. Now, dont get the idea that I'm not straight *L* Only ladies for me

Not knocking that for anybody else though.

Kevin

[This message has been edited by Miami1839 (edited March 20, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Miami1839 (edited March 20, 2001).]

Billy Optimist · #13 03-20-2001, 11:52 AM

Thanks guys. I was just in a weird mood and needed to get it out. It really helps having a forum like this.
Alright Kevie, I'll take your advice.

just kidding

KSigkid · #14 03-31-2001, 11:54 AM

Don't change how you are...you could never have enough good guys in your house, and I know for a fact that I would take a nice guy as a brother over some asshole who tries to act all tough.