Men! Please explain!

gphi2k2 · #1 08-01-2002, 06:17 PM

Okay, I need some one to tell me what this boy is thinking! Male input would be wonderful.

So I have this friend (I swear it's not me) who started dating this guy about 2 months ago. They hit it off right away. He was so gentlemanly it was sick! He'd stand up everytime she did, out of respect. He'd run around to her car door to open it for her to let her out. He looked at her adoringly all the time, yadda yadda yadda.

Then, one weekend, they have plans on a Saturday night. A friend of his was getting married on the Sunday. Well, at 5:30, they are on the phone and he says he'll call her back in a couple of hours and then come pick her up. Well, he never called. He stood her up. She doesn't hear from him until Monday. He says his friend had cold feet and he had to rush over there to help him out on Saturday (cause yah, a 30 second call from his cell phone on his way over to his buddies, to bail on my friend would have been SOOOOOOO hard), and then he left his palm pilot, where he had her phone number saved, in his car at the wedding and he accidently locked his keys in the car (yah...and the dog ate my homework).

So, they see eachother 2 more times (don't ask me what she was thinking in seeing him again....I have NO idea) and then he never calls her again. Some gentleman eh? Well, during one of the last 2 times he saw her, he mentioned he may have to fly to Arizona to see him mother at some point in the summer.

Okay...fast foward a full month of not hearing from him. She gets a message at work that there's a package waiting down stairs for her. It turns out it's a dozen long stem red roses in a vase, with a card saying something to the effect of 'been in the U.S. (editors note: I'm in Canada for those of you who don't know) for a month now. I left your number at home. Please call my cell and leave your number on the voice mail so that I can call you. Miss you lots sweetie...'

WHAT THE FUDGE IS UP WITH THAT?!? ANYBODY???? Can anyone give me insight into what could possibly be going on in his brain?

Kevlar281 · #2 08-01-2002, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gphi2k2
Can anyone give me insight into what could possibly be going on in his brain?

I think he wants her to call his cell phone.

RUgreek · #3 08-01-2002, 08:19 PM

It's a booty call, whenever they see each other, it's the one night stand. Apparently, this is a classy guy with $$ that enjoys taking it to a higher level than most of us in college. Anyway, it's as plain as day, he's interested in her, but wants the freedom to see other people. If she wants more than that, tell her to bring it up and make him decide. Most likely he'll just run off since he hasn't shown much of an interest besides a casual month to month break in between 'visits.'

Of course I just think like a player and could be completely off, he just may be extremely busy, absent-minded, and involved in the most ridiculous of situations when trying to get in touch with her.

He's playing games, if she wants to quit, she'll stop calling him.

- RUgreek

#4 08-02-2002, 10:27 AM

Hmm... dated a guy like this for 3 years, on and off.

Turns out he was married.

'Nuff said.

Optimist Prime · #5 08-02-2002, 10:40 AM

He might be legit. Maybe he relizes he was a total jerk ass and wants to win back the girl of his dreams. The only girl ever who could make his heart... well there I go again. Don't listen to me. I am a romantic optimist, so this logic only works in my blisful little world i create for myself. Well, maybe. It could happen. You can't deny that. Just tell her to keep her antenae up.

texas*princess · #6 08-02-2002, 12:50 PM

a friend of mine once said "boys suck. throw rocks at 'em"

madmax · #7 08-02-2002, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RUgreek
It's a booty call, whenever they see each other, it's the one night stand. Apparently, this is a classy guy with $$ that enjoys taking it to a higher level than most of us in college. Anyway, it's as plain as day, he's interested in her, but wants the freedom to see other people. If she wants more than that, tell her to bring it up and make him decide. Most likely he'll just run off since he hasn't shown much of an interest besides a casual month to month break in between 'visits.'

Of course I just think like a player and could be completely off, he just may be extremely busy, absent-minded, and involved in the most ridiculous of situations when trying to get in touch with her.

He's playing games, if she wants to quit, she'll stop calling him.

- RUgreek

ditto. I think she should wait about a month to call.

valkyrie · #8 08-02-2002, 02:03 PM

Here are my thoughts -- there are a few options here. He is

(1) stupid and thoughtless and has no idea how to treat a woman he is dating;

(2) seeing someone else and only calls your friend when things with the other person aren't going well; or

(3) making a booty call.

I think that ONE big screw up in the early days of a potential relationship can be excused -- I don't think your friend was wrong to see him again after he blew her off that ONE weekend, as long as she made very clear to him that while she could get over it, such behavior would NOT be tolerated in the future. However, if he's blowing her off for an entire month, after they haven't been seeing each other for long, how is he going to behave later, if things progress? Not well, I'm afraid. The early days of getting to know someone are, in my experience, when people are usually on their best behavior to make a good impression. If this is his best behavior, she should run for the hills, unless of course *she* is just looking for a booty call. If she's looking for something more than that, I think she'd be better served to look elsewhere. This guy doesn't have it together.

shadokat · #9 08-02-2002, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by texas*princess
a friend of mine once said "boys suck. throw rocks at 'em"

AMEN sistah!