Do you have Kids?

DeeGeePee · #1 07-15-2002, 05:26 PM

Do any of you have kids? Have they prevented you from participating in events? Do you take them to events? If you do, do the members of your GLO have a problem with that?

I have a daughter, and while a problem hasn't come up yet, I was just wondering what others have gone through.

shultzz · #2 07-15-2002, 05:53 PM

None that I know of..

sigtau305 · #3 07-15-2002, 08:31 PM

I have no kids, even though I have two goddaugthers.

Kevlar281 · #4 07-15-2002, 08:46 PM

I know my fraternity makes it a point to have alumni events that are specifically geared to be family friendly. Granted I don’t have kids but its nice to know that when I start a family I wont feel neglected.

RubberSoul · #5 07-15-2002, 10:08 PM

As an advisor, the only time I really have any problem is if I have to go to Chapter......obviously the kids can't be there for that. But if I have other advisor obligations at the house usually I can just take the kids and a couple of the girls watch them. I have found the chapter to be a fantastic babysitting resource. I sent an e mail out on our listserv at the beginning of the summer asking anyone interested in summer babysitting to contact me. I ended up with a nice list of people to call and have used several of them. And during school I will have even more girls to call.

Incognito · #6 08-05-2002, 04:48 AM

Do alot of single moms pledge NPC orgs?

notorious4it · #7 08-05-2002, 09:59 AM

yea i have a son and he goes just about everywhere with me and my sorors, they're great babysitters too like for instance if he is sent home from daycare and i have to take a test or be in class i know i have somebody to watch him. he even went to the Special Olympics and Multiple Sclerosis Walk with us and had a good time, I choose not to go to as man parties but that's about it. I have many sorors with babies and it doesn't really stop us from doing anything

Dianne · #8 08-05-2002, 10:19 AM

Incognito, I think most of these ladies are alums with children, but I could be wrong.

I'm still a collegiate and I don't have any kids (yet). But one of our advisors recently had a baby, and she brings her to stuff all the time. We loved having the latest Zeta legacy hang out with us at recruitment workshop! Also, when we have alumnae events, we try to incorporate their entire families (e.g. an Easter egg hunt for the kids, etc).

Optimist Prime · #9 08-05-2002, 10:51 AM

I do! Not really, but I helped teach/mentor kids this summer. They rock.

Eirene_DGP · #10 08-05-2002, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by shultzz
None that I know of..

ROTFLMAO!!!!

chideltjen · #11 08-05-2002, 02:07 PM

Well I didn't want to start a brand new thread about this so I will just kinda ask here.

I was just curious what NPC's policy is when it comes to single mothers who want to join. I have heard that single mothers aren't allowed and that there was one sorority that had one sister "go alumnae" when she found out she was pregnant.

I am in a local and there is word that one of our PNMs does have a child and is fresh out of high school. In the past we have had a single mother join (older) and she couldn't make it to a lot of events, skipped meetings and eventually de-pledged b/c she just didn't have the time. We recently had another girl with a child try to recruit, but using past experiences and some girls being concerned with "image" or whatever, we didn't accept her. I thought it was shallow but then again, since our pledge semester is rather busy, I wondered if she would have time to go to all the events AND take care of her child.

So basically my question(s): What do NPCs, other locals, or even fraternities, do if a potential new member wishes to join and he/she has a child/is pregnant? Is there ever a large debate? If you have, do they have a harder time going to activities? And if you do want to accept girls with children, but you have sisters/brothers that are completely against it, how can you tell them, nicely, that they should just be given a chance? Thanks!

kddani · #12 08-05-2002, 02:29 PM

I dont' know if there's an official policy. I don't think it happens often.
I kind of question why someone would want to join a sorority if they had a child. I can understand why a person in general would want to be in one. But if you have a child, shouldn't there be different priorities in your life? Once you have a kid, they should be your number one priority above all. A sorority is a large time commitment.
Also if they're married or still have a relationship with their baby's father, what about mixers and such? What if the woman started hooking up with a guy? I'd feel so overwhelmingly guilty for possibly leading to the cause of a dissolve of a marriage. I understand this can happen all the time with girls cheating on their guys, but once there's a child involved it's a much bigger deal.
I'll probably get flamed for some of this, but keep in mind that it's just my personal opinion and that we're all entitled to our own opinion. And i'm only speaking on perspective from an NPC point of view. I've heard of NPHC members who have children and have had a very positive experience. So no one go flipping out, lets try to keep this a civil thread.

ZTAngel · #13 08-05-2002, 03:58 PM

I don't have children (as of right now) but I can speak for our advisor. Her son is about two years old and she takes him to all the Zeta functions. We just had a recruitment workshop and he was there. Plus, she has 180 babysitters.

PM_Mama00 · #14 08-05-2002, 07:59 PM

There's a girl in another chapter at my school who has the most beautiful daughter. As far as Monday nite meetings, she's at every one and sometimes brings her daughter. I've seen her at a lot of events, but we're also a commuter college and she still lives with her mom who helps out.

DeeGeePee · #15 08-05-2002, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
I dont' know if there's an official policy. I don't think it happens often.
I kind of question why someone would want to join a sorority if they had a child. I can understand why a person in general would want to be in one. But if you have a child, shouldn't there be different priorities in your life? Once you have a kid, they should be your number one priority above all. A sorority is a large time commitment.
Also if they're married or still have a relationship with their baby's father, what about mixers and such? What if the woman started hooking up with a guy? I'd feel so overwhelmingly guilty for possibly leading to the cause of a dissolve of a marriage. I understand this can happen all the time with girls cheating on their guys, but once there's a child involved it's a much bigger deal.
I'll probably get flamed for some of this, but keep in mind that it's just my personal opinion and that we're all entitled to our own opinion. And i'm only speaking on perspective from an NPC point of view. I've heard of NPHC members who have children and have had a very positive experience. So no one go flipping out, lets try to keep this a civil thread.

The part where you asked about what if she was married or still with the baby's father, I mean, I'm sure girls with boyfriend's pledge all the time. I mean, is it better to break them up? (I know what you menat though

)

As far as why a single mother would pledge, well, for the same reasons as everyone else. Just because you're a parent doen't mean your life has to end. I mean, I'd break my neck and dance naked in the street for my daughter, and she will always come first. But that doesn't mean that I can't do anything else but be mommy. Our sorority is more service based, so its no big deal to take her with me to projects. She always brightens up someone's day. As far as serious or non-child events like a formal or serious meeting, of course I would leave her with Grandma. But DGP is the only activity I do, and since it encompasses service and social activities, its enough for me. I would never keep ANYONE from pledging, but I would seriously talk to her and see if she's sure she can handle kids, sorority AND school, because kids and schoiol come first, always.