Problem--need advice

AOII*Azra-elle · #1 07-08-2002, 02:49 PM

Okay, I have a problem and I really need advice. Last fall my best friend and I did formal rush at our university and I got a bid from AOII! Well, the problem is, she didn't. She has been through formal rush twice, and has done spring rush this last January. She so bad wants to be in AOII and she gets mad at me b/c I won't 'get her in'.

The thing is, she has a low gpa and according to our university regulations you have to have a least a 2.5 and she has been told that she needs to get her grades up.

She plans on rushing again this fall and I'm not sure what to do if by chance she doesn't get a bid. I don't want to fight with her over this, it's been almost a year of continuous fighting. She's my roomie next year so it's going to be weird anyways. Anyone have any advice on what I can or can't do? I'm stuck and I don't want to lose this friendship.

AOIIalum · #2 07-08-2002, 05:44 PM

Wow, you really are in a bind aren't you? It's so hard for our friends to realize that we can't just "get them in" our sororities when there are extenuating circumstances involved. At least with grades, often it's pretty cut and dried, although not always pleasant.

Hopefully she understands that it's not necessarily *her* that's keeping her out of a sorority, but her low grades. Since you are her best friend, maybe you can answer this and help her understand. Is it possible that she had one really REALLY bad semester early in her college career, but has earned good grades in all of her other semesters? If she had good grades coming out of high school and has earned a good GPA in other college terms (like a 3.0 or better, or equal/higher to all-sorority average, get the idea) perhaps she would be able to pledge somewhere. It depends on how Panhellenic would consider that situation and how close she is to the required GPA.

Is there anything on your formal recruitment application that says what the GPA requirement on your campus, something like "A minimum GPA at or better than 2.50 is required by all sororities on our campus. You will not be allowed to pledge without a minimum 2.50, although you may participate in the week's activities." If so, hopefully she reads it and understands. Also, hopefully the Panhellenic Recruitment staff really impresses upon the PNMs that the lower their GPA, the lower their chances are of pledging anywhere. Does Panhellenic have a sliding GPA system, where it's a 2.50 minimum for Freshman, and maybe a 2.45 for Sophomores and a 2.40 for Juniors and higher?

Other than that, and you may have already done this, is to just gently remind her that all of the chapters on your campus have strict GPA requirements and aren't allowed to extend a bid to anyone under the minimum GPA. Make sure she understands this includes AOII and there's nothing you or anyone other than her can do to change it. Make sure she realizes that her chances of receiving a bid from any of the sororities are low/non-existant because she doesn't have the minimum GPA. Maybe encourage her to talk honestly and openly with her Recruitment Counselor about her GPA and assess her chances? It's so hard, especially when the girl would be an asset to our sisterhood!

I've seen an instance before of someone who was going through Formal Recruitment her sophomore year, but her GPA was low due to a variety of family issues the prior semester. Her high-school and other college grades were excellent, just that one semester really pulled her down. Luckily, she was able to pledge and maintained great grades from then on.

Hope some of this helps, feel free to PM me if you'd like more info. Good luck!!!

Roses,
Christin

AOIIBrandi · #3 07-08-2002, 09:21 PM

Christin is right. If it is only grades that are keeping her from getting a bid you should explain this to her. As you are probably already aware AOII chapters set a minimum GPA for each year group based on chapter, school, and IHQ policies. Often the older you are the higher your GPA must be. This is most likely true of all NPC groups.

You are definitely in a bind, but as long as she has grade problems then it should be realtively easy to break it to her. You can also explain that if she doesn't meet the minimum GPA that the chapter has set she will not even be discussed therefor you won't have the opportunity to just "get her in".

If there are other problems than grades then you will have to find a way to gently break it to her that you love her dearly and that although AOII is the right group for you that she would probably be a better fit somewhere else.

Good luck,

Brandi

AOII*Azra-elle · #4 07-09-2002, 01:17 AM

Thanks for the advice guys. Well, we got handbooks before rush last year that tells about each sorority, rush infractions, rho chi's and stuff and in it, it says "All Rushees must have a 2.5 high school or transfer GPA in order to participate in Rush." I don't think she saw it, or she didn't pay attention. I got her to go with me to study tables last semester, it seemed to help. So, I think I will talk to her about it, and explain it. She really would be an asset, even if not in AOII--but to the Greek community. I just hope she listens!

SnowLady · #5 07-29-2002, 08:49 PM

If simply explaining the policy isn't getting through to her. Use a different example.

Explain to her in some respects AOII is run like a business. We have certain requirements that we must meet in order to be considered in good standing. The chapter I belong to prides itself on (fill in the blank: strong sisterhood, outstanding philanthorpy, highest GPA among NPC groups on campus, etc.) And because of our strength in those areas, we need to make sure that our newest member already meet this criteria. We have a wonderful academic development program in our chapter and I'd really like to have you enjoy it's benefits - but first we need to make sure that your grades are above a 2.5. What can you do fall semester to get your TOTAL ACCUM above a 2.5?

If that's the only thing denying her from membership - she's in total control of her destiny. Whether with AOII or any other group on campus.

Do you know where her grades stand? How hard will it be for her to be above 2.5. Is it an issue that she's totally wonderful and the chapter loves her and are just as disappointed that they cannot offer her a bid b/c of her grades. OR, are there other issues. You certainly don't want to lead her on and promise her a bid to any chapter. But, perhaps with this different perspective she might "get it". If not - send her to me. I'll help her!

GOOD LUCK!