Confused!

[lmh621]

Ok,I've never been to big into the whole sorority thing. I mean, I started to rush at IU and being in a sorority isn't what I really want. I did 19 party and thought all the girls were nice, but I still can't see myself actually 'living' in a sorority. So I made the decision to not go back and finish rush. Now my parents are pressuring me, like crazy! I'm a legacy at a house and they kept saying it will make your grandma happy. But its my choice right? I shouldn't rush to make other people happy? Even though I love my grandma I just wish and don't want joining a sorority to be the way I show my love. And that's how my parents were making me feel. So does anyone have any advice? or words of wisdom? Thanx!

Hmm, this sounds so familiar!

We also had a legacy at our fall rushes who did not really want to be a part of the sorority, but she also had her family pressuring her. She sat down with us and asked us for advice and made it clear that it's not that she didn't like us, she wanted to pursue other things while she's in college.

We told her to sit her with grandma and explain the situation. If your parents are the ones pressuring you, do you know if your grandmother feels the same way? You could probably be assured that your grandmother wants nothing but the best for you, so tell her that being in a sorority isn't the best thing to do right now. Also, explain to your parents that you are at IU for a reason, and that's to get an education. There are other ways to make them proud of you and hopefully they'll be able to see that.

[SoCalGirl]

I completely agree with Wahine. But what I would also suggest is that you try to meet that chapter through COB/informal rush. If you put in an honest effort to meet the girls and still decide that you just don't want to be in a sorority, fine. You can tell your grandma you gave it a try and it's just not for you. Not everyone wants to be greek, not everyone should be greek. Follow your heart!

[lmh621]

Thanks so much! What you said is exactly what I've been thinking. My mom never rushed at all, and she always said she regretted it. So she doesn't want me to feel llike she did, but I am sure its not what I need in my college experience. <~ My mom says this is self-centered.. but it's my life right? We are going out to dinner tomorrow with my grandparents so I'm going to tell her then. I feel horrible after my parents guilt trip.. but if its not me, its not me.
Thanks again. It's nice to hear that other people understand me

[HeidiHo]

I do think that if you have the slightest interest, you should check it out. You are right, however, to do what you want in your own life. When I rushed, we had only seven 1st round parties, which wasn't a lot of time to spend with each house. I'd imagine that with 19, you got overwhlemed & every house has kind of blurry. In such a short time, it's hard to get a "feel" for each house, with 19, it had to be crazy! If you think you maybe, coulda, sorta liked a house, or or two, give it some more time. After meeting the girls a few more times, you should have a more clear-cut opinion.
If you do decide not to join, just remember, your parents will get over it, as long as your happy with the choice.
Good luck!
Heidi

[33girl]

lmh,

I agree with SoCal - try informal rush, sometimes formal turns people off who otherwise would love being in a house.

Is it living in a sorority house itself that you don't like the idea of? I'm not sure how it works at IU, but ask the ladies if there are any options for being an unhoused member if you don't like the idea of living in that environment.

Whatever you decide, I'm glad you decided to talk it all out with your family and be straight up with them. A girl went thru rush at one of our chapters who was a double legacy (mom & grandma). She didn't get a bid, and grandma (who apparently donated quite a bit of $$) is on the phone to nationals reaming them out and demanding the chapter be disciplined for not giving the girl consideration (we don't guarantee bids, but they are to be asked back to the 1st round). Turns out the girl never put down on her rush form or told anyone she was a legacy. I would bet anything that the poor girl wanted nothing to do with Greek life but didn't have the heart to tell her family.

Just keep everything open and your family will get over it in time (just like my dad has gotten over me not marrying at 22 and popping out oodles of grandkids ). Good luck, and let us know how things go.

[imsohappythatiama]

You mentioned that you rushed at IU--do you mean Indiana University?

I went to IU, and went Greek, so if it is Indiana U's Rush that you're talking about, maybe I can give you a little insight!

IU's rush is VERY competitive . . . so that can be intimidating right from the start. I, too, went through Rush my freshman year, and then dropped out. It all seemed like too much at the time.

I did, however, go back through Rush my Sophomore year. It was a MUCH beter experience! I felt I could really TALK to the actives comfortably, and I could really make an informed decision about which house (if any) would be right for me. I've never regretted my decision--2 years independent, 2 years Greek--it was just the right balance for me.

Having said that, let me tell you that when I was non-Greek, I didn't feel as connected to IU as I did during my Greek years. Little 500 is much more fun when you're rooting for a team, and the same can be said for IUSing, Yell Like Hell, etc.

I would fully recommend that you go through Rush again as a Sophomore. It's tougher, because they take fewer Sophomores than Freshman, and you'll have to have good grades, but I'm telling you, the second time around is so much easier. You already know what to expect, procedure-wise, and you learn a lot about the houses that you didn't the first year around.

If I can offer you any further advice, please don't hesitate to email me at hawkeyehoosier@hotmail.com.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that what I have said will help you out!

Happy new year!

------------------
Oh, Kappa Kappa Kappa Gamma,
I'm so happy that I am a
Kappa Kappa Kappa Gamma,
Nobody knows . . . how
happy I am!