Who knows best?

KarenC725 · #1 07-12-2002, 01:54 PM

Which do you believe in:

A) In any given situation you know what is best for you and trust your own judgement

B) Your friends have a leg up and can be more astute.

I know its not the same for every situation but in general, do you go with your gut instinct and feeling or heed the advice of others?

douthit · #2 07-12-2002, 02:01 PM

For me, most of the time I will trust me own judgement, but I try to never completely discard others' opinions of the situation. After all, the way I react is in part based on what other people have told me, even going back to when I was a kid and just learning what was right and wrong from my parents.

bcdphie · #3 07-12-2002, 02:07 PM

For the most part I will trust my own judgement, my gut instinct, but it also depends on the situation - sometimes a little bit of advice or direction is a good thing.

SATX*APhi · #4 07-12-2002, 02:20 PM

I usually trust my own judgement, but often times I look for reassurance in my friends/family.

KarenC725 · #5 07-12-2002, 02:30 PM

Another log on the fire... What if your friends/family are split on what to do? Do you go with the ones that reinforce what you think?

In most situations, I believe that we are capable of taking our blinders off and seeing the forest from the trees. Plus, we are the ones in it, therefore wouldn't we have some "insider knowledge"? Help!

justamom · #6 07-13-2002, 09:25 AM

As a "few" may know

, sometimes its well worth while to seek a different perspective on a problem. Generally, I go with my gut but try not to act too hastily. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to make the right decision, you have to backstep and start all over. Different situations require dfferent approaches. If you are in uncharted waters, outside imput can be very beneficial.

When I'm torn about what to do, I --PRAY!!! ----and hope I make the right choice.

Dionysus · #7 07-13-2002, 01:46 PM

It depends, I trust my own judgement as long as I remain objective, logical, and detached. Once emotion enters my decision making thats when things get bad, and then I trust others judgement.

h2oot · #8 07-13-2002, 02:29 PM

I trust my own judgement, but if the consequences warrant, I also consult others. What usually helps is I ask myself: "whats the worse that can happen if I change my mind." Like JAM said you can usally back track and begin again. Most decisions are not life-altering.

Hootie · #9 07-13-2002, 08:30 PM

I will generally get the advice of others because sometimes I need to know if I'm over-reacting or if I have a reason to be upset, paranoid, whatever it is I'm feeling.
HOWEVER...when it comes to gut reactions I will think about something a lot in my head but tend to not act on them for fear that I'm making a mistake. Generally my gut reactions were correct. I need to start trusting my judgement!

Hootie

Kevin · #10 07-13-2002, 08:51 PM

It depends. I'll consult experts if they need to be consulted... But most of the time I'm pretty self-sufficient.

I figure if someone offers an opinion to me on their own than they think it's important, so I take it into serious consideration.

I consider myself to be excellent at being detached and subjective when making decisions -- I'd never let emotion factor into something major.

James · #11 07-13-2002, 09:53 PM

I usually do a lot of thinking, researching, asking, roleplay before the moment of decision even for relationships or social situations . . . but that doesn't really help you.

As far as what you are asking . . .

Most people never get the right answers because they don't ask the right questions, ask them in the wrong way, or ask advice from people that have no idea. Garbage in, garbage out.

So here are some hard fast guidelines for evaluating situations.

1. If you have been making most of the decisions in the situation yourself, and haven't gotten anywhere or are very unhappy, its time to go get help from others.

2. If you are very wishy washy and are always doing what others suggest and are unhappy and feel trapped, its time to lock these people out of your life, and make some of your own decisions. And find some new advisors!

3. Make you sure you have at least one person in your life that knows all your shit and won't put up with it.

We all have or should have, one of these friends. They aren't very sensitive, but they are almost always right. They can spot our bullshit a mile a way and we are almost afraid to give them the standard bull because we know they will see through it.

Sensitive suportive friends are a dime a dozen. In therapy they call them "enablers" and they are the people that allow and encourage us to fuck up our lives (some people call them true friends lol).

Seriously folks, our sensitive supportive friends are usually the ones that are telling us things will be all right ,while handing us the lunch they made, and assisting us on to the train to the death camp.

Most of the time we all need the kind of mean person that tells us that people are using us, we are heading towards tragedy, gives us a twinkie, 10 dollars, a gun and tells us to get the fuck out of Dodge!

Here are some things to beware of:

1. Don't be "that friend". We all have had one, they call all the time looking to vent about a situation that they have little intention of changing. They have similar characteristics. They tend to ask advice looking for the answer they want. And will present the situation to get that answer or keep retelling it and asking you till you answer the way the they want. (Like I should really stay and try and work it out with my BF/GF). And if you don't tell them what they want to hear, they will keep asking others till they hear the answer that allows them to stay miserable.

More to follow but I need to head to work . . .