I'm a frat boy

FHwku · #1 06-28-2002, 01:30 PM

~from a friend , with love.~

I'm a frat boy. My hands are harder than a girls, but not by much. I'm not weak, but I'm not too strong, either. I work out for definition, not strength. And to check out the girls from my favorite sororities working out... I keep my hair fairly short, conservative, and gelled. The nice people at Dillard's cut it, color it, and style it for me. I like clothes from A&F, AE, and the GAP. All of my sunglasses are Oakley. All of my shirts are collars, buttons, and plaid of some sort, sweaters, or pre-faded earth tones. I buy my hats with wear and tear, even though they're new. My favorite one has the Beaver mascot and lets everybody know I'm witty.

I drive a jeep. The cd player might have rap in it, but i usually listen to Dave Matthews Band, classic rock (CCR), or modern rock.
My guitar is back there with my books. scattered in the back on the floor, and slide around, always. Why study when I could be drinking beer?

I love drinking beer all the time. Especially at our keggers, where I do keggers and scream "Wooo hooo!." Even if I puke. My resume extracurricular activies read, "beer, keggers, and girls."
I do my share of community service. I don't really think twice about it, it's just a requirement of being in the fraternity. I don't do more service than I'm asked.

I only chase sorority girls, yet, no one from this sorority will even think about dating me. The sister i dated told all about me. No one from that sorority will see me anymore, because i went out with half of them. But I always get a big smile, a great big hug and a kiss from all of the ones not pissed at me. I don't see what the big deal is with "shacking." It's only midnight...we're adults.

i love my bigs and my lils, like i've known them forever. I don't see how anybody gets along without these 50 best friends i've got. They're the best people out of tens of thousands on campus. I've gotta go. It's time to run with my shirt off.

UDZETA · #2 06-28-2002, 04:30 PM

I do not know what to think of this post. Is this describing every "frat boy" or just you? I know for a fact that not every fraternity brother acts or thinks that way. I'm not even sure what message you are trying to get out with this. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong. Someone please help!

ilovemyglo · #3 06-28-2002, 04:35 PM

It is sarcasm at its best...
Sarah

UDZETA · #4 06-28-2002, 04:37 PM

Thats what I thought but I wanted to be sure! Thanks!

Kevlar281 · #5 06-28-2002, 04:55 PM

I don’t get my haircut at Dillards (didn’t even know they cut hair)
I refuse to buy caps with wear and tear
I don’t drive a jeep
I don’t listen to Dave Matthews Band
I do find a bit of truth in the rest of the stereotypes though

sundevil2000 · #6 06-28-2002, 07:07 PM

'Frat Guy' divulges fraternity myths, addresses stereotypes:

I'm a Frat Guy. I live in a Frat House.I go to Frat Parties. I fight. I especially like to fight independents. I think that if independents were cool, they would have pledged a frat in the first place. I know that independents are jealous of my social life. I believe that I am more fun and am a harder partier than any GDI (God Damn Independent). I am exclusive because I hate you. I don't go to classes. I spend my afternoons at BodyWorks. I buy my friends. I joined a frat to feel accepted. I couldn't make friends when I got to college, so I paid for them instead. I give more than $1,000 of my parents' money in social dues each year to promote my frat's alcoholism problem. I drink because I am cool. I drink a lot because I am cooler than you.
I haze my pledges. I make them eat sticks of butter. I make them drink soy sauce. I make them clean my house naked. I make them wear women's panties. I emotionally scar them for life. I abuse them physically until they cry for mercy. I then call them wimps. I later call them my brothers if they don't de-pledge along the way. I am not an individual. I mimic the actions of my frat brothers. I drive a sport utility vehicle. I wear brown Timberlands.
I will never commit to just one girl. I don't wear condoms because it doesn't feel as good. I believe that a girl gives up her right to say "no" if she is in my frat house after 1:30 a.m. I am shady.
I have no independent thought. I dress just like my frat brothers. I act just like my frat brothers. I talk just like my frat brothers. I strut just like my frat brothers.
I never study. I devise elaborate schemes to cheat on my exams. I don't buy books. I have a low GPA. I am thankful that my frat buddies will get me a job after graduation because I know that I can't get one on my own. I show up drunk for interviews.
I wear my letters. I billboard my frat on sweatshirts with huge Greek letter symbols. All of my T-shirts are frat party T-shirts. I own many plaid button-downs. I own one baseball hat. I live in my khakis. I wear beer goggles on weekends.
"I drink because I am cool. I drink a lot because I am cooler than you." My frat letters are license to be a jerk. I am loud and obnoxious wherever I go in public. I am twice as obnoxious one-on-one.
I live in filth. I enjoy the smell of old-beer-in-carpet. I prefer a dingy frat house to a clean apartment. I think living among rodents builds character. I leave the seat up. I can't clean up after myself. I rarely change my underwear.
I am a player. I don't care about what girls have to say. I only care about me. I will say anything to get a girl in bed. I will say even more to get a freshman girl in bed because I know she'll believe me.
I serve alcohol to minors. I urinate in public. I do keg stands. I play beer pong. I own a beer funnel. I don't binge drink -- I continually drink.
I am everything wrong with America.
I'm a Frat Guy.

*This one I thought had even more funny examples. Last year I lived with 2 guys and all of their friends were in fraternities and were always over. I copied this poem and had it posted on the living room wall all year and they loved it and laughed at it all the time because it IS funny and in a way it makes sense. They would high light parts that were in a way true*

queequek · #7 06-28-2002, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sundevil2000

I wear my letters. I billboard my frat on sweatshirts with huge Greek letter symbols. All of my T-shirts are frat party T-shirts. I own many plaid button-downs. I own one baseball hat.

Amin, brothers :P

FHwku · #8 06-29-2002, 01:09 AM

haha

" i don't binge drink -- i continually drink."
k

XOBear · #9 07-01-2002, 09:26 PM

that second "poem" was harsh!

douthit · #10 07-01-2002, 10:23 PM

I've seen that second poem/post before, and it is hilarious as long as you take it for a grain of salt. There are some things in there that are potential very offensive if taken seriously, so I wouldn't recommend letting a GDI see it!

I'll admit it, the one aspect in which I fit into the sterotype is the way that I dress. My wardrobe is pretty much AE, Abercrombie, Gap, JCrew, etc. I also rarely wear jeans, so much so that one girl that was in a class along with me last semester commented how it was the first time she had ever seen me in jeans, three quarters of the way through the semester! Maybe it's just me, but I find khakis and slack-type pants a lot more comfortable than jeans most of the time.