speaks well of ADPi

My daughter recently went through recruitment at an SEC school. She loved ADPi which I found interesting because she had friends everywhere but ADPi. I was a little sad because as a legacy to another chapter, I was wishing for her to follow her legacy.

It didnt matter because ADPi released her. It broke her heart and she withdrew. Before you say she should have kept an open mind, keep in mind she was trying to follow her heart. She didnt really even know any ADPi's, but she just really liked them as a group after meeting them during recruitment. I think it speaks well of the ADPi's at this school that someone would rather align with them than with their friends as so many young girls usually choose to do....

She is a great girl: smart, pretty, and talented. I think sophomores just really struggle with getting a bid. I am just so saddened by the whole process.......

I have heard ADPi has a large number of legacies come through each year making it difficult for the chapter so I understand their side as well. I sure wish it was not too late for COB.......

[adpiucf]

I'm sorry it didn't work out for your daughter during formal recruitment. At many SEC schools, sophomores can be disadvantaged in this process. If she is interested in joining *a* sorority, she should consider informal recruitment activities this fall and spring. Best of luck to you both.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by greek2me

My daughter recently went through recruitment at an SEC school. She loved ADPi which I found interesting because she had friends everywhere but ADPi. I was a little sad because as a legacy to another chapter, I was wishing for her to follow her legacy.

It didnt matter because ADPi released her. It broke her heart and she withdrew. Before you say she should have kept an open mind, keep in mind she was trying to follow her heart. She didnt really even know any ADPi's, but she just really liked them as a group after meeting them during recruitment. I think it speaks well of the ADPi's at this school that someone would rather align with them than with their friends as so many young girls usually choose to do....

I'm sorry your daughter was cut from a chapter she loved. Wanting a chapter for you and not for your friends isn't as rare as you think. Particularly if ADPi is "top tier" at this school, expecting to get a bid as a sophomore who doesn't know anyone in the chapter may have been rather unrealistic. We don't even know her GPA or if she had a rec.

Originally Posted by greek2me

She is a great girl: smart, pretty, and talented. I think sophomores just really struggle with getting a bid. I am just so saddened by the whole process.......

I have heard ADPi has a large number of legacies come through each year making it difficult for the chapter so I understand their side as well. I sure wish it was not too late for COB.......

Unfortunately, from what I read on GC, nearly every PNM at SEC schools is smart, pretty, and talented. Many of these PNMs are also freshmen with recs and personal connections in chapters prior to recruitment.

RE: COB. ADPi may not even be holding COB, so it's not necessarily an issue of "too late".

It's a shame that your daughter became so fixated on one chapter that she completely ignored her other options during her last reasonable chance to go Greek. If she still wants the Greek experience, she should inquire with the Greek Life Office for any informal recruitment opportunities this fall or in the spring semester.

She had several powerful recs, accidentally met some of the girls while getting her nails done (nothing untoward, just shared a bottle of polish), a GPA of 3.4 overall and a 4.0 the semester prior taking calc and chem in a diff major. She is an Academic All American, a ranked athlete, and pretty enough that a professional photographer wanted to submit her photo in a competition. She was def qualified, but she was a sophomore. She isnt upset with ADPi. She understands, as do I. I dont think she fixated on anything as much as she knew where her heart was and I respect that because it would not be fair to the other chapters if she pledged them but didnt feel the same way about them. I just wanted to compliment ADPi. They must be very special to have had such an impact on her. : )

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by greek2me

I just wanted to compliment ADPi. They must be very special to have had such an impact on her. : )

In that case, I sincerely thank you and your daughter on behalf of my sisters. Recruitment is such a strange time, and with Membership Selection being double-secret, she'll never know if she was the "next one" who would have gotten a bid.

Both of you seem to have wonderful attitudes, and I would encourage her to still be friendly with all of the sorority women with whom she became friendly. My own big sister was a friend of my chapter for a couple years, and when she was a junior, another sister spent a year in Europe. She was the first person they even considered for COB!

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by greek2me

I think it speaks well of the ADPi's at this school that someone would rather align with them than with their friends as so many young girls usually choose to do....

I just wanted to highlight this statement as well. I'm glad your daughter liked ADPi so much, but it's usually unrealistic for a PNM to join a group where she knows no one (as a sophomore) or where the members don't seem to be like her and her friends.

There are some PNMs, indeed, that join "aspirational" groups where they're molded into new individuals. But by and large, PNMs end up joining chapters where they already have a lot in common.

I think we all might also need a gentle reminder that friendship is about support and comraderie, not "aligning" with a particular social group.

I'm glad that both you and she seem to be satisfied with how things ended up.

I think you may have misunderstood. She didnt want to join ADPi for the purpose of it being ADPi. She went in not really knowing anyone (an aquaintance or 2) and came away feeling a connection there and really liked the group. I think they liked her too. I think that is why she was invited back. I think it was a sophomore thing. And while I understand their choice, I was saddened by it because I wanted her to experience this and I think she would have been an asset. She would still love to be in a sorority, but I totally respect her choice to follow her heart even if in the end it didnt work out.

It wasnt an "alignment" with a social group. She wasnt trying to be in a particular sorority. She met new girls and liked them. And even with friends in other sororities, she still felt a tug toward ADPi. She saw something special in them.

She did like other groups, and she would have been very interested in some of the others, but sophomores arent very well received.

I just wanted the ADPi's out there to know I appreciated the way they treated her when she was there.