"Good Hair" and black people

I_Candee · #1 07-18-2002, 04:06 PM

As I was lifting up the phone to call my hairdresser Ke-ke, I remembered something that one of my friends told me. He, an unshakenly devoted "Pretty Boy" of Kappa Alpha Psi, told me that I was buying into the society's definition of pretty. He listed several examples, including the fact that I get my hair permed. He finished his statement by calling me a black barbie!!!! WTF?? Am I a victim of society?? What is good hair anyway? Is it bone straight like Vanessa Williams or naturally curly like Ananda Lewis' or natural like Jill Scott?

Someone help a sista out!!!

Quote:

I'm not conceited, I'm convinced. I'm not arrogant, I'm royalty. If you don't understand, then maybe you shouldn't. By: Yours Truly

sophistAKAtion · #2 07-18-2002, 04:33 PM

I-Candee,
Girl, there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" and what you listed was what there is...different grades of hair. You can have relaxed, natural, or curly, but who is to say it is good or bad? I think within Black society, we are carrying on this mentality from slavery with what seperated the House negroes from the Field negroes and the grade of hair you had was put into that category as well the shade of ones skin. So therefore this idea of good hair came into play. Good hair to me equals healthy hair. If your relaxed hair is healthy then keep doing the damn thang. Do you and you will be happy.
So how dare that brotha judge you and call you a "black barbie"? I mean is he taking care of you in any way. If he wants you to go natural so bad, is he willing to put forth the money that may go into it. I tell you he just contradicted himself because it sounded as if he was trying to make you feel guilty of getting your hair done/relaxed (which equals you being you not being real with your self and too into your image) when in fact he just showed that he cares just as much as you do of your outward appearance. Men... I tell ya.

Discogoddess · #3 07-18-2002, 08:48 PM

"All hair is good that covers the head."

---My mother, via my Grandma Rosetta

ClassyLady · #4 07-18-2002, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Discogoddess
"All hair is good that covers the head."

---My mother, via my Grandma Rosetta

You couldn't have said it any better!!!

I Candee, you better do what makes you happy and what makes you feel beautiful. Good hair is the hair that God gave you because he don't make mistakes.

I_Candee · #5 07-19-2002, 10:09 AM

I totally agree with you SophistiAKAtion. The worst part of the story is that he is NOT my man. He is just a guy friend, which really ticked me off the most! I mean, he's not paying for my hair and he's certainly not supposed to care, so I mean, really! And the Black BARBIE inference is supposed to mean that I'm being fake, because I sometimes where weave, but still, it's not his buisness.

The thing is that although "All good hair is hair on your head" as Grandma stated, it's hard for people to follow that. Let's truly be honest, how many Miss America that are black have had kinky hair?? I really don't want to go here, but not many dark-skinned females are held up as "beautiful" on tv, magazines, etc.? And it is true that there are more dark-skinned people with coarse hair, than light-skinned people. There are a few exceptions, but not many.

I just do me; just whatever makes me happy. But, I can't help but think that there is a world out there where men think they can tell you what to do and society dictates what is beautiful.

Either way, my lovely hairdresser Ke-Ke will be giving me a perm and weave on saturday, I just gotta do me.

Quote:

I'm not conceited, I'm convinced. I'm not arrogant, I'm royalty. If you don't understand, then maybe you shouldn't. By: Yours Truly

CodeBlue_R3 · #6 07-20-2002, 10:54 PM

This is a subject that has igged me for years. I'm not an au natural woman-I was once conned into using that white cocaine on my beautiful multicultural tresses. Although I am mixed of hertiage (Black, Indian, and Hispanic) My hair is very dry-unless I have it braided or oiled down. In my opinion black women are feeding the stereotype that "we" have "bad" hair. Personally, we have some of the best hair if taken care of right.

Good Hair: Well taken care of, healthy, shiny, full of body and texture, diverse, no breakage

Bad Hair: Shedding, bad thick dandruff, lice, thinning, balding, extreme breakage, super dry, fragile, unhealthy, not taken care of, neglected.

UNIQUE97 · #7 07-20-2002, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sophistAKAtion
I-Candee,
Girl, there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" and what you listed was what there is...different grades of hair. You can have relaxed, natural, or curly, but who is to say it is good or bad? I think within Black society, we are carrying on this mentality from slavery with what seperated the House negroes from the Field negroes and the grade of hair you had was put into that category as well the shade of ones skin. So therefore this idea of good hair came into play. Good hair to me equals healthy hair. If your relaxed hair is healthy then keep doing the damn thang. Do you and you will be happy.
So how dare that brotha judge you and call you a "black barbie"? I mean is he taking care of you in any way. If he wants you to go natural so bad, is he willing to put forth the money that may go into it. I tell you he just contradicted himself because it sounded as if he was trying to make you feel guilty of getting your hair done/relaxed (which equals you being you not being real with your self and too into your image) when in fact he just showed that he cares just as much as you do of your outward appearance. Men... I tell ya.

WELL SAID sophistAKAtion!!

Discogoddess · #8 07-26-2002, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by I_Candee
...But, I can't help but think that there is a world out there where men think they can tell you what to do and society dictates what is beautiful.

Umm...there IS a world out there where men tell women what to think, and there IS a world where society tells people what is beautiful (how to wear their hair, what clothes to wear, what weight to be, etc.). It's called THE WORLD WE LIVE IN NOW.

Why else would women alter their natural hair, eye color, weight, skin tone, etc.? Because we've been TOLD that anything but our natural selves is beautiful. Now, add 500 years of racial oppression onto that, and you have us having this very conversation about black people and "good" hair.