Well, I guess I have to be pessimistic on this one...
If you have read some of my posts, you can gather that my chapter has been struggling. Today was the day that National Officers came in to take back our charter. Sigma Xi has been struggling for the past 15 years to keep our head above water. We were given 2 big "warning" letters over the last decade about this, the latest being sent this summer.
Our alum have stepped up incredibly. Our college was behind keeping us here 100%. Chapter members have never worked so hard in their lives. Basically, our best was not enough to keep us afloat.
I am not saying that it is because Nationals did not help at all, they did their best, but not always. And I am not saying that we were cooperative all the time. What it boiled down to was that both of us were not in sync with giving the chapter what it needed to survive.
We did not close because of hazing. We died because we had 24 members on a campus with 50 as total. We had not been at total in several years. Yes, I am angry. Yes, I am hurt. More than that, I'm sad.
Our chapter would have been 80 years old this coming year. 80 years!! All of those sisters I feel that we have let down. To know that you were here when everything ceased is the most humiliating, humbling, and frightening experience ever.
Last night, I re-read the ritual book for the last time. I sat with my best friend, who is also a senior in the chapter. We cried for about an hour....a piece of ourselves was being packed away in a box the very next day.
I do not mean to be melodramatic....but it is so terribly hard to give up something you have loved, worked for, and cherished for 4 years. Kappa Delta is a huge part of my life, and I feel that I've dropped the ball.
I have fought the good fight, as have all of my sisters. My best advice to do absolutely every little thing you can to save your house. When Nationals tell you to jump, ask how high. Everyone has days when they are stressed, fed up, and just angry at people in their house, Nationals, etc....and somedays it just seems easier to give up. DON'T!!!
For all of your who are lucky to have your house in place and doing well...I am so proud of you. Never forget how lucky you are, and how much your brothers and sisters mean to you. That charter on the wall means more than you might sometimes think it does.
(But on a happy note, my boyfriend is taking me out because I'm so sad. A small victory for the day, but it's something.
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