What to do

confusedgrl83 · #1 03-28-2002, 07:00 PM

Well.. I've looked at this site before, but just decided to post today. Here's my dilemma.. I'm a freshman at a school on the east coast *don't want to mention which one right now* Ever since high school I thought I would be in a sorority.. I was a member of Rainbow Girls *a masonic group* all through high school and wanted a similar experience in college..
Well, when rush comes around I am pretty disatisfied with the results. It seems here that most of the sorority girls are either Jappy or just plain snobby..now I do know some nice girls who did pledge, but even some of them are changing and no longer hanging out with me. Still, I want to be a in sorority SO bad. My boyfriend is in a fraternity and loves it, and I want the same experience.
I could rush in the fall again *more relaxed from what I've heard* and see what happens or I was even thinking or trying to get some girls to start another chapter.. because of some of my friends have expressed interest in joining a sorority but just not the ones available now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!

Kevin · #2 03-28-2002, 07:35 PM

It can be tough to see people for who they really are when you're on the outside and looking in. Give these girls a second chance. You sound like you're open to new experiences so definitely go through Fall rush and hopefully you'll find an organization that best suits your needs.

It's true that I no longer have time to hang out with all my non-affiliated friends as much as I used to.. I'd imagine if I had pledged a fraternity instead of helping found one it would have been even worse

Best of luck though!

LHT
Kevin
MT 5
University of Central Oklahoma

DeltaBetaBaby · #3 03-28-2002, 07:52 PM

Can we please avoid use of the word "Jappy"? Thanks!

#4 03-28-2002, 07:59 PM

Kinda curious...what does Jappy mean anyway? Please PM me!

cash78mere · #5 03-28-2002, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
Kinda curious...what does Jappy mean anyway? Please PM me!

originally, a JAP stood for Jewish American Princess. now, it stands for a snobby, usually wealthy person who thinks she is better than someone else. religion does not matter.

on long island, the word is used all the time--even by "jappy" girls themselves. it's not offensive here, although i could see it being a problem other places. some people are proud to consider themselves to be a jap.

when i went to school in VA, i used the word freshman year. someone turned to me and said "how can you talk about japanese people like that!". i was floored. they had never heard the term JAP in any other sense than japanese.

NoShame_Gamma · #6 03-28-2002, 08:33 PM

Hey Girl! I feel you! Except, I didn't think the Sorors at my school were snobby, I just didn't know they existed. Although now that I know, some of them are! Anyway, I did a lot of research on other Sororities (mainly ethnic) and I started my own. If you don't feel that any of the current Sororities meet your needs, get your friends together, do some research, and start your own! It can be difficult, but very fulfilling. I'm glad I did what I did because you don't have to settle for anything and you set your own standards. The Sorority I went with didn't have any chapters in California, so not only did I start one on campus, but we will be the first in the State as well.
Good luck on whatever you decide to do and if you need any advice, write me!

confusedgrl83 · #7 03-28-2002, 11:21 PM

thanks for the comments/advice... I didn't mean jappy in a bad way.. I'm just from southern Ohio and I've never seen a prada bag or anything and going to a school on the East Coast it's a culture shock.. and that term is DEFINITELY used on our campus all the time.. both offensively and in a proud way.
I think I might try fall rush.. but starting a new chapter could be fun... one with no labels, no gossip.. of course I know that will happen.. but I also think it would be an amazing experience, well tough but amazing.
Any more input would be great! Thanks!

XOAlumXO · #8 03-28-2002, 11:31 PM

I would definetly give it a try. Think about it, when you go through rush, you only meet with the sorority for a short period of time. You get a glimpse of what they're like, but you really don't KNOW them. There's so much more to a sorority than the rush parties. Joining my sorority totally made college everything I imagined and more. We had a strong sisterhood- I made the best friends ever!! It's totally worth it to give it a try.

Good luck!!

XOAlum

AchtungBaby80 · #9 03-29-2002, 01:51 AM

Mmm hmmm, my boyfriend goes to a school in southeastern Ohio and I haven't seen anything resembling a Prada bag there...and I myself am a small-town girl going to a big school, so I definitely can sympathise with you! Before I rushed my sophomore year, I had never seen stuff like that in person, you know? But back to the topic...maybe you should try hanging out with sisters from various groups or going to COB events. I think that would help you get to know them a little better than a recruitment function would ever allow you to. You might find a group that you click with after all. I can't really say because I don't know everything about the situation, but if you really feel like you don't fit in any of the groups on your campus there's no reason you should try to make yourself do it--the whole point is being yourself, and if you feel like you have to change to mesh with any of the groups, it isn't worth it. In that case, I would ask around and find out if your school is considering bringing in any other sororities and which ones they are...and if not, well, then feel free to move things along yourself.

There are several people on here who have started or are in the process of starting their own chapter, so talk to them and see what you think.

justamom · #10 03-29-2002, 07:59 AM

If you are considering starting a chapter, you really should read (start to current post) wishinandhopin's thread under Rush-Rush at UCSC. It shows the level of commitment it takes to develop your idea.

As far as friends changing-It happens. Chances are it could have happened anyway. With the schedules these girls have, from the very moment they accept a bid, it seems there isn't much time left over for outside activities. It doesn't ALWAYS mean that they don't miss being with you. There are other possible reason of course, and those too are part of life's realities.

Fall rush or COB are good prospects. Like many have said-the recruitment process(especially formal recruitment) doesn't give either side a real picture of the other. In a more relaxed setting, you could be pleasantly surprised at how comfortable you feel with any number of these groups. As far as "gossip", take it with a grain of salt and find out for yourself- unless you KNOW the source or the individuals involved.

BootyKBG · #11 03-29-2002, 10:54 AM

I never went through a formal rush of any kind, but I did help found our chapter here. If you really aren't satisfied with what the sororities on your campus have to offer, I believe that starting something new can be a really gratifying experience!

GammaPhiGal · #12 03-29-2002, 03:45 PM

Hey confusedgrl83, I definitely think you should try rush again in the fall. I'm assuming it's informal then. That's how we do it here. I had rushed formal in the winter of my freshman year, but I knew alot of girls who dropped out or just didn't rush. And so many of them rush informally in the fall. They are now in sororities and loving it. When it's more relaxed, you get to talk to more sisters and get a much better sense of each chapter.

If you don't find a place you belong in the greek system, go and try to form your own. Good luck! I'm assuming it's alot of work, but I wish you the best of luck.

Oh and cash78mere, that same thing happened to me. I'm from southern NY, and the words "jap" or "jappy" are used often, and not always negatively. The first time that word came out of my mouth in from of my roommate from Alabama and floormate from Michigan. They nearly had a heart attack, and were looking at me like I was the meanest person in the world, and they couldn't believe I would refer to a Japanese person that way.

shadokat · #13 03-29-2002, 05:19 PM

Also, on the starting your own sorority tip, your campus has to be willing and able to take on another sorority. I don't know how many sororities are at your school right now, but if there isn't the interest or need for another sorority, you may not have a shot. Wishinhopin had a good situation in which to start her sorority. Only one sorority on campus. Look into this part too.

Kevin · #14 03-29-2002, 05:30 PM

As for that situation -- your campus if it is open to another sorority is probably looking at national organizations. It can be better for you in many respects if you join a brand new colony of a national organization. Or you could talk both the campus and a national sorority to put a colony there.

Having been a colonist and being amongst the 1% of greeks who have founded new chapters I can say it's a hell of a great experience. As for bonding and the like I don't think anything can quite compare...(in my humble opinion of course)

LHT
Kevin Taylor
MT 5
University of Central Oklahoma

dzandiloo · #15 03-29-2002, 07:10 PM

Hey Confused-hello from another former Rainbow Girl! I didn't read all the notes above, so I apologize if I'm repeating anything. I would encourage you to go talk to the Panhellenic Advisor of the school to find out her thoughts. It may be possible that recruitment numbers may demand another national organization--but then again, maybe not. There is alot that goes into the decision to invite another national organization to colonize.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. The process of organizing a local sorority and getting to the charter of a national organization can be hard and frustrating! You need the Panhellenic Advisor on your side. There may be others like you that she can hook you up with.

-Andi
"To Crusade For Justice, To Seek The Truth, and Defend It Always"