i think i'm going to drop out

delicious · #1 04-02-2002, 05:28 PM

i think i'm going to drop out of my sorority this week. i've been thinking about it all semester and i really can't take it anymore. i just know that all of my sisters are going to ignore me once i drop and things will be so different. i'm nervous.

PenguinTrax · #2 04-02-2002, 05:30 PM

Why are you considering dropping out? Have you spoken to the officers of the sorority and your advisors?

#3 04-02-2002, 05:33 PM

Hi!
There wasn't a lot of information in your post, but since you posted that you are thinking of dropping, why not tell us why? If it's as simple as communication, try to meet privately with your pledge mom and hash it out. You might be surprised at how understanding they can be.

If it's grades and no time for school work, that's something that your pledge mom needs to know too. If they are using up every single second of your spare time, the new member program needs to be re-evaulated.

However, if it's hazing...RUN! You don't want to be a part of that nonsense.

How can we help?
Tracy

KDHoney · #4 04-02-2002, 05:34 PM

I second the question...why do you want to drop out? Make sure that this is something that you've really thought through. We've had girls drop out of our sorority for very valid reasons and no one ever stopped talking to them or anything like that. You have to do what's best for you and hope that your sisters are true friends and will understand that.

GreekLetterGirl · #5 04-02-2002, 06:22 PM

I agree with what every one has said , why not get some feed back from the GC we have all been through it and everyone here give the best advice!!! Hang in there .... also there is alot of post on the subject so best of luck with you !!

Tom Earp · #6 04-02-2002, 06:30 PM

Is this just a rise or is it true?

del you have some of if not the best on this site to answer your questions on this site unless you are pulling the old leg of lamb!

If do not come back, I suggest we drop this thread and not post on it until then!

Strange mood for the Tombstone man today! No fun and fivolity in my book! My fault!

The1calledTKE · #7 04-02-2002, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tom Earp

Strange mood for the Tombstone man today! No fun and fivolity in my book! My fault!

You should change that then. Raise some hell and go live it up.

AchtungBaby80 · #8 04-02-2002, 09:50 PM

I always feel like I'm the only one saying this, but if you're not happy there's no reason to stay. But the thing you've got to figure out is, is this a problem that's going to go away or is it something that absolutely cannot be fixed and is going to haunt you for the rest of your days? That's what you need to base your decisions on.

Not to scare you, but a lot of girls who have dropped from my chapter have disappeared from the face of the earth. No one seems to talk to them, but these are mostly girls who were never around anyway and no one got to know them. If you've been there a while and have made friends, thought, there's no reason you should worry about suddenly getting the cold shoulder.

delicious · #9 04-03-2002, 12:11 AM

sorry, i really should have elaborated earlier.

i go to school in the deep south where being a greek means a lot. i also came to this school not knowing a soul. this was not to my advantage for several reasons: 1) i didn't know the girls in the "it" sororities like many others did b/c they went to hs with them and i didn't get good recs from alumns from my school since i knew none 2) i rushed not because my heart was into being in a sorority but only because i wanted to make friends fast.

so i rushed, and i got a bid, which is pretty amazing considering that only 60% of the girls who start out going through rush get bids.

i've been very active in my organization. i've held an office for 2 years now and have put my heart and soul into it. i have attended almost every event and spent over $300 on my little sister this past semester.

even through all this, something is still missing. i dont have that bond with my pledge class. i dread every chapter, every meeting, every retreat, every philanthropy event. its like pulling teeth. there is so much drama involved in my organization that it is ridiculous. last semester, we were honored with having the lowest cumulative GPA on campus (2.5) and that makes me sick (I had a 3.2). Each time I have to do something with my sisters I never know whether I will be ignored there entire time (75% of the time I go to stuff) or barely spoken to (the other 25% of the time I attend our functions).

I have no REAL friends in my sorority. Sure, I have girls I sit with in class and laugh and gossip to, but no one I do anything with outside of class or sorority related events. My little sister was even talking sh!t about me at study hours the other night in the library and didn't know I heard her.

I'm just not happy. Does that clarify it at all?

#10 04-03-2002, 12:35 AM

Oops, I edited too much...just trying to spell check. LOL!

Well, the point of my long gone story was that sorority's are for LIFE..get past the next few semesters and move on to alumnae life..you might find more satisfaction and outstretched arms

Tracy

Dionysus · #11 04-03-2002, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by delicious
sorry, i really should have elaborated earlier.

i go to school in the deep south where being a greek means a lot. i also came to this school not knowing a soul. this was not to my advantage for several reasons: 1) i didn't know the girls in the "it" sororities like many others did b/c they went to hs with them and i didn't get good recs from alumns from my school since i knew none 2) i rushed not because my heart was into being in a sorority but only because i wanted to make friends fast.

so i rushed, and i got a bid, which is pretty amazing considering that only 60% of the girls who start out going through rush get bids.

i've been very active in my organization. i've held an office for 2 years now and have put my heart and soul into it. i have attended almost every event and spent over $300 on my little sister this past semester.

even through all this, something is still missing. i dont have that bond with my pledge class. i dread every chapter, every meeting, every retreat, every philanthropy event. its like pulling teeth. there is so much drama involved in my organization that it is ridiculous. last semester, we were honored with having the lowest cumulative GPA on campus (2.5) and that makes me sick (I had a 3.2). Each time I have to do something with my sisters I never know whether I will be ignored there entire time (75% of the time I go to stuff) or barely spoken to (the other 25% of the time I attend our functions).

I have no REAL friends in my sorority. Sure, I have girls I sit with in class and laugh and gossip to, but no one I do anything with outside of class or sorority related events. My little sister was even talking sh!t about me at study hours the other night in the library and didn't know I heard her.

I'm just not happy. Does that clarify it at all?

Girl, were we separated from birth?

Unlike the rest of GC, I've been there and done that! Last year I had the EXACT same issues you are having now. I rushed a sorority to make friends fast, got a bid, attended almost every event, put my heart and soul into it, spent lot of money

, still felt like something was missing, despite all of that I did not bond with my pledge class, was ignored or barely spoken to (may have been my fault, I didn't open up that much), and just wasn't happy.

So, I quit exactly a year ago and still regret it till this day!!! PLEASE at least stick around for the next pledge class. It has been my observation that pledge classes can be different as night and day and GLOs can do 180's within semesters! Maybe you ought to take a break from them for a little while. Since you said that you were always around, it's a big possibility that they are taking you for granted. JUST DON'T QUIT! Good luck!

LexiKD · #12 04-03-2002, 01:50 AM

Although I would never say quit, think about the change.

Quitting and alum status are 2 different things.

It pains me to know that you are not enjoying your time, if I could do it all over, I would. But not everyone has a great time.

There will be hard things to deal with in an office, the same that you are going through, the Real World isn't full of 100% wonderful things and peolpe. In the end you will learn from it.

I know it may be hard to stay, but I would.

Hope it gets better and maybe you can change some things while you are there.

Good Luck!

SapphireSphinx9 · #13 04-03-2002, 03:51 AM

Delicious,
I think most everybody has been in the same position as you are finding yourself right now. I strongly encourage you to wait. I know this may be hard, but this might also help you decide what you want/should do. "Time is the healer of all..." You never know what may come about. Like some one stated earlier, wait for this next pledge class... Find someone in this class that you can relate to. Someone that will not only be your sister, but your friend, even if you decide to drop. I had two really good friends drop from my chapter this past fall. It hurt me deeply... And I considered dropping with them, but what's best for them, wasn't necessarily best for me. With their dissaffilations, the whole chapter's morale just dropped... But we got support and help from other chapters and our National. I guess what I am trying to get at, is look around first. Ask your sister chapters for suggestions... Or maybe your National Headquarters will have some information on how to build sisterhood bonds.

Well just remember that we are all here for you.

justamom · #14 04-03-2002, 08:03 AM

Dionysus- Possbly one of THE best posts you've made...ever....this lifetme or any other.

LeslieAGD · #15 04-03-2002, 08:14 AM

Delicious,

I'll be honest, I don't know what it's like to go to a Southern school where you're either your Greek or your on the sidelines; however, I'll pretty sure that at one point or another, almost everyone has had a bad experience with their chapter and thought about quitting. BUT, what I got out of your post is that you're a really dedicated sister and even though you're having a crappy time with your chapter right now you should think about all the other sisters and all the other chapters around the world that hold the same ideals of sisterhood.

Being part of a National Sorority lets you seek sisterhood outside of your chapter...and guess what? Greekchat is the BEST place to find that support. My GC sisters mean so much to me...I'm even closer to some of them than some of my chapter sisters. They're always here for me.

If you're really miserable, then nothing we say is going to make you change your mind. But I suggest really thinking about whether you want to let a couple of JERKS drive you out of a sorority that you've put SO much into. Like Dionysus said, get close to the incomming pledge classes because that is where you can make the difference.

Keep us posted.