All Access Granted?

AKA2D '91 · #1 03-04-2002, 11:52 PM

For those of you whose SOs are always around, when did you find that it was OKAY for him or her to have access to your phone(s), pagers, 2-ways, and email account(s)?

Or, should he or she NEVER have access to these things?

bluz4 · #2 03-05-2002, 12:13 AM

my boyfriend of 1.5 years carries my cell phone when i'm at work so that i can reach him and tell him when to pick me up. my mom thought this was a big deal because he has to answer my phone when it rings whether its me on the other end or not. it doesnt matter to me though because we're at this point that he's in my life and EVERYbody knows that.

i've answered his phone but he doesnt answer mine since i live with my family. as for e-mail accounts, we havent asked that of each other. i think we both feel like we trust each other enough to give each other some sort of privacy.

tickledpink · #3 03-05-2002, 01:25 PM

My hubby has used my cell phone (this was after marriage... mind you) but we don't have each other's email access. Some things have to be private, for the sake of sanity.

#1 Leading Lady · #4 03-05-2002, 05:04 PM

Well well let me think....

After we decided we were EXCLUSIVE ( I hope that is the word I am looking for) but anyway we answered each others house phone until we became ONE household. If you don't have anything to hide IMO it shouldn't matter. Don't have me flying across the room stumbling over tables, chair, kid, and toys and your behind is sitting right next to the phone....Pick it up and answer. NO Problem. The same with the Cell Phone. If you don't have anything to hide then let the Significant Other answer. I personally tell folks who ask Why is so and so answering the phone I politely tell when you start paying the bill then ask questions.

Email is private though the IHPE (inch high private eye) that I am I have his email password but I respect him enough to keep it that way but....you never know

kiml122 · #5 03-05-2002, 05:39 PM

We have been together for a long time, over 15.5 years and there are times that I have used his cell and vice versa, but I don't have access to his email nor do I want it. He doesn't have access to mine, and gain nor does he want it. I agree with tickledpink, somethings are just private, and it has nothing to do with having anything to hide....that's just my opinion.

I think it's called mutual respect and honesty on both our parts. It's worked for a long time, so I'm sticking with that.

Pink Infinity · #6 03-05-2002, 05:58 PM

It depends on you and your SO's relationship and also trust. Sometime is goes into a privacy matter, ask yourself do yo really want him answering your phone? Not saying that there is nothing to hide but is he helping with the bill, is he answering the phone for his security or are you letting him answer the phone to provide him security, and what has he done to get that much access of your property? Those are some question to ask your self. But the circumstances are different for everyone and everyone is different. I was in the situation before and it was more about control than me being kind and letting him answer my phone. The deal in my situation was that my boyfriend at the time wanted to have contol of who was calling my home and why the were calling but that may not be your case. What this big deal anyway, not too many people should be calling that you are not comfortable talking too while he is around. Correct?

lil_sunshine · #7 03-05-2002, 06:54 PM

That's definitely true, Pink Infinity!

ClassyLady · #8 03-05-2002, 09:11 PM

I have always had access to my boyfriend's email account. Particularly because he does not have internet access. He knows that I check my email everyday, so he just started asking me to check his at the same time. He doesn't care and neither do I.

He has had access to my email since a few months after we got together. For me, it wasn't that big of a deal. Most of the email that I get are either business related or multiple forwards from some of my friends and family who have good intentions but start to annoy me. Now, he uses my computer to surf the net for himself.

It doesn't really matter to me. If I was trying to do something on the side, I wouldn't have my side thing email me because I know that my man can check my account.

AKA_Monet · #9 03-05-2002, 09:42 PM

The thing you watch out for is him buying you the mobile phone and the 2-way pager... That's how tabs are kept... We all need our own private informational space...

If you are not legally married or common law married and you give your SO a phone/pager/email/credit-debit card, and this person jacks up your charges, then what will you do?

'Cuz a man had the audacity to ask me to cosign on a car for him to drive! And I ain't married, nor are we boyfriend and girlfriend! So, basically, if the car gets repossesed, it would be my credit that gets fouled up and this dude already has declared bankruptcy!!! I think Chapter 13!!! Almost $100,000 in the hole!!!

So, for me, personally, I'd be extremely leery about given out personal items to my SO... The other does not seem so significant after awhile...