Possibly Disaffiliating.....

damasa · #1 02-12-2002, 08:10 PM

Basically, it goes down like this. I have been thinking about this for a while now because I really don't feel at home in my organization. My first year, I was all about it because we got things done, did things together all the time, many philanthropy events, many fundraisers, and much much more.
In the past few semester I've noticed that as much as I try and as hard as I try, I don't seem to be able to motivate many people to do things, even their own jobs. Our philanthropy is almost non-existent at this point, we don't have many fundraisers, we don't associate with many other greek organizations and we are plagued with numerous and I mean numerous guys that drop out of school, fail out of school, quit or just don't come around. I feel that all the effort I put in goes nowhere and this feeling is getting bigger and bigger. We failed to even make quorum at this weeks meeting and alumni advisors are nowhere to be found. Our alumni support is dwindling greatly and we have to fight tooth and nail with them just to get them to stop by the house and talk a while. There are many many other things, but I'm going to end my rant here, I'm getting pissed just thinking about it.

Blaine

Peaches-n-Cream · #2 02-12-2002, 08:37 PM

It seems to me that your org needs more members like you. You should try to talk to the Executive Board about this situation. I'm sure that they are as aware and concerned as you are. In the past, I have noticed that there is a lot of senioritis (senior apathy) the semester of grauation. Could this be a part of the problem? If so, you need to consider them future alumni and the younger members need to pick up the slack. I remember in my last semester after having served on E Board for five semesters, the sophomores and juniors were turning to me and other seniors to continue taking on the responsibilities of the sorority. I told them that it was their turn to take on these responsibilities and they needed to get used to that because we were going to be gone in a few weeks. If this is the case, you need to encourage the younger members to get involved in fundraising, philanthropy, and recruitment. The newer members have the energy and enthusiasm that older members lack. Perhaps, they could be given a position as an assistant to one of these jobs.
I recommend that you read "Seven Steps of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. That might help give you some insight on what you can do.
Good Luck! I hope that you stick with it.

The1calledTKE · #3 02-12-2002, 08:38 PM

Its your call but you realize the more your chapter loses its stronger members the likelyhood of your chapter dies is greater. I guess it all depends if you lost all hope for your chapter and the love of your GLO. I thought about the same thing in my undergrad days. I was in a similar situation but amazingly the newer guys got a lfire lit under their butt and are doing quite well. If you can't motivate you newer members then you might want to give up.

Lil_G · #4 02-12-2002, 09:26 PM

D...
I think it may be time to get an intervention going. For a chapter to survive there has to be a certain # of hardcore members around, as mentioned already if you leave you're facilitating it's closing. On the other hand, if you make this apparent to other brothers you might spark some concern about how your chapter has taken a slide and that change is needed. Does anyone else feel this way? Well if you're unsure, this will tell you. If there's several others that feel this way you may have to do stage a rally to clean house.

First, you need to identify the brothers of the past that have made your fraternity what it is (or when it was great). Check archives, look for pledge class presidents, past chapter presidents, anyone along those lines who can help. Maybe these guys just aren't aware how the fraternity is doing and how their help is needed? Contact these men, the sooner the better. Work together to rebuild what it was by educating your brothers why they chose PSD.

Hootie · #5 02-12-2002, 09:43 PM

Do I hear ya!

The summer before my Junior year of college I was so frustrated with my chapter that I wrote a huge letter to our Executive Board saying I was quitting. I tore a part our Symphony and wrote how I thought we needed to improve on certain things that, according to our Symphony, we stood for.
Immediately I was bombarded with phone calls from sisters begging me not to quit. So instead I spoke with them, told them my concerns and what I thought about a few things and they listened. They enforced a few things and now I feel like I made a change.
I'm a very stubborn person sometimes, so when I wanted out I simply wanted out. But my mother made me realize that sometimes the only way to get change is to start it yourself - and how could I possibly expect change if I wasn't there.
I'm so glad I didn't quit. I realized that though I don't hold an exec position that I do have a big say in the way things are run. I realized how many people were concerned and truly wanted me to stay in Chi Omega.
I don't know your whole situation but I'd bet if you talked with the executive board or maybe your other brothers to see if anyone shared your feelings, you could make a change.
Just know you're not the only one who has ever wanted to toss in the towel!
Hootie

GreekLetterGirl · #6 02-13-2002, 03:06 PM

i think we have all been there at one point or another, and it truely is a hard thing to decied but please remebere that this is a LIFE LONG membership that you are canceling not just for the last how ever long you may still be in school... Please give this lots of thought this is not something that can be reveresed....

FuzzieAlum · #7 02-13-2002, 03:36 PM

I've seen it happen - if even half the chapter is motivated and wants to rush, to do things right, they CANNOT do it without at least the willing support of the other half. Rushees can sense the division in your chapter and will ask themselves, why should I be a part of this?

Now, I'm not saying you should just give up. Presumably your chapter has (or your nationals can help you set up) a standards board. Achieveing quorum at a meeting should not be a problem, because people who miss enough events should go on probation and eventually get the old-fashioned boot. Even if your chapter is small, you'd be better off smaller if the rest is just dead weight.

If the alums are pissed, it's probably because of what the chapter isn't doing right and those members who aren't doing their share. I know the feeling that you would do a lot for your chapter but after a certain point of them saying "no thank you" once again, you think, "FINE! Then I won't help!"

This may not be the official way to do things, but here's what I suggest - get together an unofficial tribunal of those you know you can trust: actives that work hard plus your best alums. Then go to your advisors and explain to them what is going wrong with your chapter and say, "What can we do?" Go to Nationals if your advisors don't listen.

It is possible that Nationals decision may be one you don't like - they are going to close or restart the chapter. In that case you'd become an alum and not have to worry about its problems anymore without the heartache of disaffliating. Or they could get standards in place, "clean house" so to speak, and work with you all to rush some great new members, so you'd be proud to remain.

No matter what happens - good luck!

shadokat · #8 02-13-2002, 05:51 PM

damasa--

Have you thought about a reorganization? We did this with one of our floundering chapters, and it's done wonders for them. Basically, we said, ok, if you don't want to be an active member of the chapter, you're free to go early alumni. Those folks were sent off as alums, and then the rest of the chapter really got down to business. Sometimes, national organizations will do it for you, but if they come in, they may get rid of people who want to remain active, and it turns out ugly sometimes.

In any case, remember, that if you're in a national organization, you belong to a much greater organization than just your chapter. You belong to a national fraternity with numerous chapters. You obviously believe in the ideals and values and traditions of that fraternity. By staying active and getting rid of your dead weight, you can turn your chapter into a thriving group again. And you'll afford future college men the opportunity to experience your fraternity in the future.

I know, it sounds idealistic, but it really is the truth

*stepping off soapbox*

33girl · #9 02-13-2002, 11:08 PM

Blaine, don't give up, dude!

Like Lil_G said, you need an intervention. Tell the alums that if they don't get up there and help, THIS IS IT. The fraternity will not be there for them to come back to. You don't want money, you want time and suggestions - you guys have been around for a while - this can't be the first rough patch you've gone through.

Ask if maybe they want to do another philanthropy - or conduct it differently - I know a lot of our sisters got burnt out on doing the same thing year after year.

Try writing down everything you feel, and either reading it at your next meeting or emailing it to everyone. Let them know how close you are to just saying the hell with it. I've never seen you be this upset on here - you've had nothing but pride for your brothers - so I know you must be at the end of your rope to talk about disaffiliating.

Email or pm me if you feel like letting loose a vent, ok?

justamom · #10 02-14-2002, 01:18 PM

damasa...You are one of those people that others respect. Your thoughts are insightful and you've shared your ideals with this board. If you were to leave GC, you would be missed. If you were to leave your chapter, the ramifications could very well ring soundly for years. Please consider what Hootie said. Express yourself! You have a forthright flair that others (with hope) will listen to.

Optimist Prime · #11 02-14-2002, 01:42 PM

Big D don't give up!!! Would your founders have given up??? No, obviously because your in their fraternity. Maybe you can suspend the brothers that are never around. PM me on the details of how you might do that. But if you give up, then you're no better than those who don't care. I know your better than that. YOU know you're better than that. Just at the next chapter meeting be like "hey, if you're not going to bleive in this fraternity one hundred percent, then please respect those of us who will and leave now. No one will think any less of you, but we need to cut some dead weight." I don't think anyone who has the best interests of your fraternity will be mad at you for saying that. They might not like it, hell, i don't even like it but desperate times call for desperate measures and fromwhat you've posted these times seem pretty desperate. Good luck man, and remember, everything will turn out for the best...but only if you make it that way.

James · #12 02-14-2002, 03:29 PM

Screw em. If they are screwballs why let them drag you down? Lie with dogs and you catch flees. I am sure you have written down all the problems as you see them in the chapter as well as the solutions and given them to somebody to read. If you haven't I would do so and distribute it to all the memebrs and the alum advisors (they probably suck also, I have seen very few sucky chapters that don't have well intentioned but sucky alum) with a kind of ultimatum. Offer your help. And then screw them and go inactive. . don't dissaffiliate if you can avoid it. You paid for the life long benefits.

Good luck..

Blue_Passion_01 · #13 02-14-2002, 04:38 PM

I have been through the same thing that you are goimg through. with me it seems that no matter home much I try to do, it seems like they do not care. The only thing I can say is screw them. Do what you do. Do not drop the organization because of them. Life goes on and so will they.

Blue_passion_01

Z-Phiii

Tom Earp · #14 02-14-2002, 05:21 PM

Blaine, I know the feeling also! I get so depressed with the state of affairs at the Chapter that I want to tell them to shove it!

I boils down to the Old 80-20 syndrom.

80 % sit on their collective Butts while the 20 % do the work!

Have you talked to you Alums about this! While Alums are doing their thing like working and raising familys, there are always Alums like me who care enuff to go back and work with the young men who are running the day to day affairs of the chapter.

I laid off for awhile until we almost lost our Charter and got back into it up to my eyeballs! But again I get depressed and dispationed sometimes! But I vent on a close Brother and pick my ass up and get back into the fray!

Hang in and good luck!