Second time rushing?

[Elly]

I went through formal rush in January with my roommate, and honestly, I wasn't too sure about it. However, I did it anyway, and the first day was great! I thought I made read connections with the girls and I loved all the sororities. Ranking them was the hardest thing to do at the time, because I adored them all and would have been honored to be a part of any of them.

However, on the second day, I was devastated. I was dropped by 6 of the 7 sororities. The rejection hurt, I had felt that I had made atleast a fairly decent impression on all of the sororities, and had had fantastic conversations with all of them. I was so upset, and I cried. (I cry way too easily, I'll admit without hesitation. I've been known to burst into tears during math tests for no reason other than taking a math test.) But I went to the party, after I tried to wipe away the tears and put on a smile. And I loved the first girl I talked to. And the second one, and so on. I thought I had found a place I could be happy in.

The next day was pref, and I woke up to a phone call from my Rho Chi, telling me that I had been dropped. I figured I would be, because I was kind of a mess from my stupid inability to no cry when slightly upset, so I moved on. I tried another sorority that was colonizing at my school, and was once again dropped right before pref. So I decided to try the Phi Sig Pi, as I was invited to rush it, and well, the pattern continued.

My roommate however, wasn't dropped. She got a bid from a "high tier sorority" (not that I care about that), and was so happy. I tried to put on a happy face for her, but its hard. Its now big little week, and I just let in her big to decorate her side of the room, and during it all, I feel completely left out.

I've decided greek life is something I really want to do, but I don't know if it would be weird to do formal rush again next spring? Or is there something really wrong with me that nobody wants me to be in their organization? I understand that I probably have lower chances on getting in as a sophomore, but is being rejected by everybody a sign? They said at the beginning that "Most girls get their first or second, and that almost all girls get into a sorority who don't suicide." But they also said that we had an unusually large group of rushees. So should I give it another shot? Or would that just be wishful thinking and a waste of time?
Thank you so much for reading. <3

[DeltaBetaBaby]

My very first thought when I see "I wasn't too sure about it" is that I wonder if you signed up last-minute and/or without recs at a school where they are needed. Don't tell us your school, but go look at the thread about schools where recs are needed, and come back and tell us if that's the case where you rushed.

[DubaiSis]

It's ok to rush a second time, and if any of the chapters offer informal rush this spring or next fall, you can do that too. But you need to spend some real time with yourself figuring out what went wrong. There was SOMETHING that kept the sororities from wanting you enough to keep you high on their lists. Were you dressed right? What were your conversations really like? Were you loud, rude, boring, weird? Did you say stuff that you thought was really funny that in retrospect was creepy? Did you smell bad? How are your grades? Your extra-curriculars? Realistically you probably won't have any friends tell you the truth about any even glaring flaws, so you're probably going to have to figure these things out on your own. But deep down, you probably know what the problem is. Then, you can start to work with your sorority friends to see about improving in those areas.

But in short, if you don't change something, you'll get the same result.

[WCsweet<3]

Okay let me try to answer your questions and give you some things to think over.

Would it be weird? Most likely not. Depends on the campus. What would be different going through recruitment next year? More involvement? Better grades? More personal connections inside the sororities? Recommendation letters?

We can't know why you were dropped as we weren't in membership selection. How are your grades? Do you participate in campus activities? Are you a member of any clubs? How is your campus reputation? Are you "that girl" at parties? There are too many factors for us to even hazard a guess, however, grades are usually a good place to start.

Sophomore chances depend on campus. At some, it is just shy of the kiss of death. Other campuses don't have nearly the problem.

Number of PNMs won't change chances of getting in unless you are at a few campuses. However you aren't at the one I'm thinking if they have that high a placement.

I always say to give it another shot if you are willing to improve yourself. Talk to your roommate about her experience. Let her know you are interested. Get to know other women in sororities. Make friends. Be involved on campus. Get amazing grades. Make yourself the package.

[Elly]

My school doesn't need recs, and I signed up 2 weeks before the deadline.

Were you dressed right? I thought my outfits were comparable to the other girls
What were your conversations really like? I thought they were pretty good, But I guess not?
Were you loud, rude, boring, weird? I don't think I was any of those things, however everyone has their own opinions...
Did you say stuff that you thought was really funny that in retrospect was creepy? No. I can't of anything I said that could be interpreted as this.
Did you smell bad? I don't think so? I showered every day.
How are your grades? I'm in honors so I guess my grades were fine?
Your extra-curriculars? My extra curricular are somewhat lacking, I'm not as involved as I'd like to be, but I am in some clubs that I plan on becoming more active in.

My school is growing over all, as there were more freshman this year than most years in the past, most of them being female.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Elly

My school is growing over all, as there were more freshman this year than most years in the past, most of them being female.

As has been said, the number of PNMs going through recruitment will not increase or decrease your chances of receiving a bid, assuming you're using RFM/a traditional quota/total system.

[Elly]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

As has been said, the number of PNMs going through recruitment will not increase or decrease your chances of receiving a bid, assuming you're using RFM/a traditional qouta/total system.

Hmm. Okay. I guess they just told me that to make me feel better.

[IndianaSigKap]

Even though I don't know where you are, I do think it's possible for you to go through recruitment as a sophomore! However, that being said, what can you do to improve your outcome? It's time to be proactive.

• Can you find recommendations to the chapters on your campus?
• Are you planning to beef up your resume? By this I mean, can you add more volunteer hours? Can you add some activities and maybe a leadership position?
• Would you consider having your nails done and a fresh haircut prior to recruitment? Not because anyone is trying to change you, we just want to encourage you to put the best possible you out there.
• Can you ask your roommate to help you with conversation topics? She had a successful recruitment, so she might be able to help you brush up on conversation topics.
• Use the summer wisely. Network. Work on conversation skills. Volunteer for an organization you enjoy.

Finish out the semester strong. If there are no COB opportunities this spring on your campus, come back in the fall ready to try again. Best wishes to you!

[DubaiSis]

I think you're missing my point. You need to think back over what ACTUALLY happened during rush. It's easy to walk away from a party and go THAT WAS AWESOME, but thinking back on it critically you remember long pauses in conversation or the member asking you a question and making an ever so subtle face at your response.

I'm trying to say that it is very uncommon for a girl to get cut completely from rush, so something went wrong. The trick to improving your outcome for next time is to figure out what that thing (or things) is that caused your unfortunate result. Simply saying, nope, not that, not me, didn't happen, doesn't really get you where you're going. SOMETHING was wrong. If it's not something that happened during rush specifically, think about your life on campus over the last semester. Did you get drunk and barf all over someone at a party? Sleep with the football team? Date the president of one of the chapters' boyfriend? Cheat on a test and get caught? Never get seen in public?

[33girl]

At some smaller campuses, there isn't a place for everyone. How big are the chapters at your school? The best thing to do is become active on campus in activities you like and get to know all kinds of people. Sometimes getting a bid is like finding a boyfriend. When you're lonely and desperate you can't pay guys to date you; but when you're happy with yourself and could care less, you have to beat them off with a stick. You can't fake it, it has to be real and it takes work.

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by 33girl

. . . but when you're happy with yourself and could care less, you have to beat them off with a stick. . . .

Sounds painful for the guy(s).

[DubaiSis]

But then you know how guys are about getting beaten off...