Greek Attitudes & Behaviors

[LeslieAGD]

I was just wondering how other GLOs try to deal with members with bad attitudes and members that makes their organizations look bad. I'll guess that every chapter has at least one member that has a negative outlook, an arguement about everything, or simply portrays the GLO badly by the way they act in public or talks about brothers/sisters/other chapters. Any advice?

[UNFSigmaChi]

We had a guy that got put on J-board twice in a semester. He was the first person i've seen put on J-board and i've been a sig for 3 years now. Well he didn't get punishment per say, but as a chapter we all agreed to more or less make him shunned. We never told him about social events or called him to go hang out, parties etc. We were civil with him around campus and such, but if there was something social, no one was to give him a call. We did this for about a year and now he is starting to come around and behave. We did this because he was a mean drunk...starting fights, throwing beer at girls etc. He is doing much better now though. And we did this without any judicial punishment.

[shadokat]

We take members like this to standards board, and first they receive a warning. After that, they lose privileges, such as social privileges or pledging privileges (taking part in new member events). This has worked for us, but I do know a chapter who had a member who was just way out of hand in her degradation of her chapter. They wrote a letter to their national and requested her deactivation. This required much physical evidence, but in the end, the woman was deactivated. That's how it can work, if you have to go this far.

[James]

You have to be pretty bad to come up on j-board charges in a fraternity chapter . . . you also have had to make yourself unpopular. You can get away with a lot if everyone likes you or you consistantly hang out with everyone.

Better overall behavior in a group will be more a recruitment question that can be refined during a new member program. For example, if you don't want people to drink in your chapter . . . don't recruit drinkers.

For people with bad attitudes . . . be wary of the person who has a legitimate bad attitude. Meaning there is stuff wrong with your chapter, they know it, they don't see changes happening, and they have become disslusioned or frustrated.

This is more common than you may believe. There is also a lot of pressure in groups settings to "hide" bad things. Don't rock the boat is a watchword . . . real boats rock.

IF everything in someone's chapter seems awesome from the outside, someone is hiding something.

Anyway, don't always victimize the poor chap that sees things wrong and is surly about it, listen to them and try and fix things . . . preferably before they lose all respect for you and the organization.

Note: "you" is meant generically.

[This message has been edited by James (edited May 15, 2001).]

[LeslieAGD]

I didn't really mean ways to punish someone, but ways to try to get through to them and stop the behavior without them blowing you off.

[shadokat]

If their behavior affects your ability to recruit members and affects morale of your organization, I believe these folks need to be talked to by your member at large, or other objective party. When this kind of stuff starts to affect your entire organization, it must be dealt with and rectified quickly, or else it just infects your chapter with negativity.

[LexiKD]

Sometimes, time is the only help. If the member sees that she isn't getting anywhere with the bad behavior then it may stop. She needs not to get any perks, like be asked on committes or do anyting fun or leadership wise...
I would assume someone would notice that she isn't being asked to help out beacuse of her attitude, the bahavior cannot be prasied by chosing her to do things that other, positive members can do!

If a sister gets out of line, she'll be asked to have a conference with the Personal Development Coordinator (my office next Fall) and chapter president and advisor (if needed). If that doesn't help her adjust then she'll be put up for review by the Executive Council, and she'll be dealt with accordingly. In the past we've prohibited problem sisters from having sister-daughters, participating in functions, and holding office. It sounds drastic, but it's worked. These problem sisters realize that their behavior and attitudes are costing them many experiences, and most of the time they come around.

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[James]

Sorry Leslie, I didn't really answer your question . . . I got caught up in a pet peeve of mine: incompetence, group think, and no accountability.

If I had to start an organization all over again . . . I would set up a spirit team, using the cheerleaders of the group, and then slowly making the team bigger. I would make the team officially secret. And there job would be to LOOK for the dissafected and get involved in people's personal lives.

If you catch something early enough its easier to correct. but if someone has a bad attitude for a year . . . its harder. The spirit team's job would be to watch for trouble, and then seduce the member. Bring them back on board with inclusiveness and kindness, and at the same time LISTEN to them and write down their concerns so they can be confronted anonymously in chapter . . .

I prefer positive to negative most of the time.

The spirit team would not be wishy washy either. They would have a written mission along with techniques, goals, etc.

Sometimes, after confronting the problem person, if you make them part of your spirit team they will become one of your most loyal members.

Good luck,

James

[dzrose93]

The way we deal with members who aren't portraying the sorority in a good way is to bring them before judiciary board and either put them on probation or suspension, depending on how much trouble they have caused. This gives them a chance to redeem themselves and straighten up before they are re-evaluated at a later date. They cannot participate in socials or formals or other similar events. Missing those types of activities usually works wonders. Hope this helps!

[pledgetrainer2]

James, your approach has always worked better than any of the "punishment" types of approaches. Problems with members come from something, and it's always the responsibility of the group to find out what it really is and try to fix it. Our society always has had the idea that punishment was the best way to go to make "better" citizens, or members as it is in this discussion. I agree with you, work from the inside out and really fix what is wrong. Of course, when you can't fix it and it is an individual's problem, then you may have to go the other route, but at least an effort to make things right is the best way to go.

[Rudey]

We've taken almost every single approach thinkable to deal with certain guys. One guy we shunned just like UNFsigmachi. Another guy we brought in front of the standards board and suspended him for a short amount of time. One guy was kicked out as well. A couple guys I've simply dealt with privately through intimidation.