How to Act in a House you Don't Like

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[Titchou]

How do you act? Like a lady - the way you should always act. Kind, gracious, and lady like.

Whether you suicide or not is up to you. The computer won't move you to the bottom - it will kick you out altogether if you don't get that one bid. So be prepared for that. Suicides are not eligible for quota additions so if you aren't far enough up on your choice's list, you will be dropped. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the rules. So you need to decide if you would rather not be Greek than in that group and go from there.

Good luck!

[SWTXBelle]

I doubt preference will be a problem. You'll probably be dropped like a hot potato by the house you are worrying about, so no worries!

[SWTXBelle]

One member? Pshaw. If you didn't accept her invitation to informally rush she'll probably be the first to blackball you. Worry more about the difficulty of getting any bid as a sophomore. Make sure your grades and campus activities are stellar. Those are factors you can control.

It should go without saying that you should be polite. Sure, you don't want that house - but what you don't know is which sororities members of that house are close friends with, and being rude in recruitment to one house can have unforeseen consequences in other houses.

[carnation]

I can not imagine the Auburn recruitment counselors, who are trained so intensively, being stupid enough to tell girls the lie that suiciding would drop them to the bottom of the list. That would be a surefire way to ensure massive Bid Day drops by girls who got an unwanted choice.

[als463]

Originally Posted by AUGreekPNM

I actually don't go to Auburn, I go to a small school in the Mid-Atlantic region. But it's a relief to hear that suiciding wouldn't block me out of the system until the end!

Also thanks so much to everyone who's replied so far, it's all been helpful!

So, you go to American University? I can't wait to see how your recruitment goes since you don't even know how to act towards people whose house you don't want to join without coming on a website to ask. This ought to be a nice recruitment story.

[DubaiSis]

What I would do is try to find something about them that you DO like. The idea of mutual selection is really only true at final bid matching so I would be gracious and yes, enthusiastic about every invitation you get. And I know you didn't say that last house was bad, but we all know all the euphemisms for THAT chapter.

My suggestion for a person going through a second time because she got cut from everyone the first time around is to get over yourself. You see yourself as an Awesome Alpha or a Beta Beauty, and you should have considered yourself lucky to get an invitation to the Goodenough Gammas.

With the way RFM works and forced cutting early on in the process, girls with guts are taking the Goodenough Gammas and ending up with positive Greek experiences. And then guess what? The GGs become the Prettygood Pis. They may not overtake the AAs or the BBs but with a couple solid pledge classes they can lose their status as THAT chapter. And depending on your school the GGs can unseat the AAs or BBs. I have seen it swing in just 5 or 6 years.

So to repeat, get over yourself and be nice to everyone. And more than that, be appropriately honored because nobody HAD to invite you.

[als463]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

What I would do is try to find something about them that you DO like. The idea of mutual selection is really only true at final bid matching so I would be gracious and yes, enthusiastic about every invitation you get. And I know you didn't say that last house was bad, but we all know all the euphemisms for THAT chapter.

My suggestion for a person going through a second time because she got cut from everyone the first time around is to get over yourself. You see yourself as an Awesome Alpha or a Beta Beauty, and you should have considered yourself lucky to get an invitation to the Goodenough Gammas.

With the way RFM works and forced cutting early on in the process, girls with guts are taking the Goodenough Gammas and ending up with positive Greek experiences. And then guess what? The GGs become the Prettygood Pis. They may not overtake the AAs or the BBs but with a couple solid pledge classes they can lose their status as THAT chapter. And depending on your school the GGs can unseat the AAs or BBs. I have seen it swing in just 5 or 6 years.

So to repeat, get over yourself and be nice to everyone. And more than that, be appropriately honored because nobody HAD to invite you.

Yep. I like you a little bit more each day---as, if you didn't know I already liked you. You said it in a much more creative and less snobbish way than me. Agreed.

[IndianaSigKap]

Go in and be your best self just as you would in any other chapter. Remember that since last recruitment the chapter you didn't connect with has changed tremendously. One group has graduated and another has come in. The culture within any chapter can change dramatically with one pledge class. And it goes both ways. Chapters you may have loved last year, may not appeal to you as much this year because you may have clicked with the older girls and now those girls have graduated. My best advice to you is to go in with fresh eyes. You never know which chapter will surprise you.

[DubaiSis]

Actually I had no idea, but thanks!

I was a member of THAT chapter and time after time we had full parties of girls who liked us but chickened out at the end because of that stygma. It did take a long time, but my chapter is now one of the 2 or 3 most competitive on campus. My chapter is the one girls cry about when they get cut. Who knew? And a couple of those AA chapters from 20 or so years ago are way NOT that anymore. They haven't quite made it to THAT chapter status, but you don't get to stand on your laurels forever.

[DubaiSis]

OK, that's a different thing. Be gracious. Don't bring it up but don't lie or play dumb either if it's brought up. Come up with a good and polite reason for why you declined the bid if you should be asked by that or another chapter (which shouldn't happen, but just in case). And the answer you initially gave us was a big ole fail. So don't say that.

An appropriate response would be that you were overwhelmed by the process of rush and at the end didn't feel confident that you were ready to make that kind of commitment. And isn't the weather lovely today? Answer the question and then move on.

Oh and DO NOT talk bad about this or any other chapter now or at any time during rush. It will make you look bad and could cloud someone else's judgement which would be a shame.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by AUGreekPNM

Hello! Last year I rushed and ultimately turned down a bid. It was from my last choice and honestly I didn't feel comfortable at all with the girls. I'm rushing again as a sophomore in my school's formal recruitment. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips on how I should act/what I should do when I'm in the house that I don't want. I know that since they're "that" house they ask everyone back and that I was at the top of the list. After I rushed I was contacted by a girl in another sorority that I love asking what happened since that sorority really wanted me. That's why I'm rushing again.

Also, if on the last day I have to rank between the house I dislike and another one should I suicide? Last year they advised against it, saying the computer system would drop us to the bottom of the list, but I don't know if this was just to give all the sororities a chance.

I'm not trying to sound entitled or mean. I just don't want to get placed in the one house again where I didn't feel a connection with any of the girls and take a spot that another girl wants.

Thanks in advance!

No QFP yet? For shame, GCers, for shame.

[pinksequins]

AU is not a large Greek system and finally opened for expansion, with a new group coming on this Spring. As others have said, be polite (which should go without saying). There is a colony option, but be aware that colonizing groups may be very sselective as they need a to establish a solid foundation for the new chapter. Good grades, good extracurriculars, and good manners are important for any recruitment.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No QFP yet? For shame, GCers, for shame.

Thank goodness you QFP'ed! I was thinking someone might do it after a couple posts, but I kept reading and scrolling and no one had done so.

Remember to QFP, people!

[Shellfish]

I think it sounds like the OP thought that she didn't get invitations or a bid from the sorority she liked because the one she didn't elbowed them out of the way, but that's not how the system works.