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Here goes . . .
Will my girlfriend ever put out again? Post #1
Well, I just want to know how many bros have experienced this and what the outcome was. My girlfriend has basically cut me off from sex and physical contact as well. We have dated over a year now and the sex is consistently subsiding. It was great at first. Now theres nothing and shes making excuses about why she dosent want to do it. I gave her an ultimatum in November that we have to have the physical portion of our relationship present for the relationship to continue. She said okay, and the physicalness improved but I asked her last night if she ever has sex with me just to satisfy me and she said "I do".. To me that was just plain phucked up for her to say that and then she says "what are you going to dump me because your not getting any" I tried to explain but she just wont listen.. Im 22 and about ready to finish college and I cant take this anymore.
I do love her, everything about her except I can't look past the sexual part. I would like to salvage this relationship but I feel its to far gone. I feel as if she used sex to lure me in and then when she got me it was done. So I plan on breaking up with her, but I just wanted to know if anyone has experienced this and if things did get better. I just dont want to get stuck in a relationship where there is no sex. and im there and she makes me feel incredibly guilty about it, shes a sweet girl with alot going for her but shes 20 with no sex drive. What do I do?? Any opinions?? thanks...
Post #2
Well, bro I havent got any answers for you, you obviously tried to reason with her, and that didnt work, so I dont see any other way than a) educate her on AS use, and put her on a cycle or b) In case she is not receptive to idea a), sneak some into her food or c) dump her, and hope that she comes around, understanding that this means alot to You, and eventually you get together again...
Post #3
SBS maybe she thinks you base the whole relationship on sex alone.Most girls hate that , well the good ones.. you have to wine and dine her some times,
Post #4
I bet you a lot of $$$ that if you dump her, she starts fucking your brains out several times a week to get your attention back again.
If you really think she used sex to lure you in, then you need to put her in a position where she has to lure you in again. Makes sense?
welcome to the infamous club.... Post #5
happens to us all brother....!
i have been thru it and found that if all u want is sex dont settle for anything else....no exceptions.
when ur young (i'm 24) pussy is the name of the game, but its different for chicks. they dont want cock 24/7 until they turn about 35 - 40.
so what i did was got that mature age pussy for a few years when i was younger. its priceless cause older chicks in that age group are generally career driven and want NO commitment. everyones a winner!
then when the time is right settle for the right chick with the right combination. i did and now i am married to her!
just my opinion!
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Post #6
I know I would never be able to have a relationship with a girl that I couldn't cuddle all the time and touch and all those things, because its just a part of me, french ppls are like that!
Many girls will stay in shape and have sex until they get a guy to marry them, after they don't want sex anymore and they gain 15 pounds a year!
Which is one of the reason I'm never going to get married, even when am 80 ( like I'll get there )
So yeah, if you don't have what you need with someone, find someone else, it aint worth wasting time and not being happy!
Lonelyness with someone hurts more than being single!
Post #7
Maybe the problem isn't with you it's with her. Alot of time when a girl starts to feel real insecure about her own body she doesn't want to have sex. Or has she recently become very religous after you two got together? I do think it's wrong of her to start having sex with you and then all of a sudden stop. Maybe there is the possibility of her seeing someone else. But not to be like an asshole you need to tell her that having sex is an important and very healthy part of a relationship. But if you are going to dump her make sure you have a girl waiting for you. It's always been my opinion that it's easier to get a girl when you already have one.
Post #8
well guys thanks for the input. Its just been this way for along time now, ive addressed the issue but i feel there are 2 parts to a relationship and thats the emotional and the physical.. I have one of them. I have never based our relationship on sex and probably 99% of guys faced with what ive faced relative to the sexual thing would have moved on long ago. but i love her, this is my first real relationship so i guess i have nothing to compare it too. I could lure her in again, play games but fact is i want sex to be consensual between us, I feel its part of a healthy relationship. She is very rigid when it comes to sex. It could be her religous upbringing or various issues, hard to say. I know she will come around if I break up with her, so its good for awhile, then what? A ring on her finger and the one-eyed snake in my hand the rest of my life. Its a tough decision to make because she is an excellent girl. I just hate to make a wrong decison and ruin everything.... and i would love to put her on something like unit said but i cant even get her ass in the gym
Post #9
quote:
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Originally posted by swizzyb
SBS maybe she thinks you base the whole relationship on sex alone.Most girls hate that , well the good ones.. you have to wine and dine her some times,
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That still isnt the point. They have been together for a year. She isnt worth staying with. Its not normal for a 20 y.o. chick. Sex isnt everything but at that age its alot. Both are not on the same level.Its inadequate and he needs to let her go.
Post #10
That happened to me years ago, and we lived together. She didn't tell me this, but I think she was unsure if she wanted to stay with me anymore. A few months later she moved out. She said that it wasn't my fault, she just had to "find" herself.
BULLSHIT!!! She had to go find other pussy and then black dick. I have no idea where she is today though. She was one of those girls that did things just for the sake of pissing her parents off.
I guess what I am saying is, I think you need to be cautious. The warning flag is up.
Fishamaan
Post #11
ok dont listen to these bozos , they have no clue wtf they are talking about ...you never mentioned if you discussed why she doesnt want to have sex with u... sex isnt everything...she should want to bone at least once a week at a min....YOU SAID U LOVE HER, well my defination of love is when u are willing to sacrafice almost anything for someone...so try these before u dump her ass..dumping her on that basis, because she doenst want to have sex with u (without trying everthing in the book) says your acting like a shallow person..be confident u can do it
ask her if its you, ask her if you just dont turn her on...try to make her feel a little bad about it...if you try to put the blame on u then she might be more receptive...
1. be romatic (flowers, suprise her with a gift, take her somewhere nice, cook for her, run her bathwater with bubbles and all that, candles, rub her feet (suck on her toes a little), massages, touch the small of her back, touch her wrist)
2. be attentive to her wants and needs
3. dont be pushy about sex...there are ups and downs in any relationship as well as times when u bone 5 times a day and times when u bone once every 2 weeks...
4. listen to her (most chicks just want u to listen to them...dont say shit, just listen)
5. see if she is cheating on your ass and is boning some guy while ur at the gym, also see if you suck in bed, cuz thats a good reason not to have sex...if she doesnt get off why would she wanna have sex...maybe you are too big for her? ive heard many of these reasons (i have had many girl friends and have sisters they tell me shit)
6. talk to her friends about her (dont mention sex at all esp the lack of it) just say hey whats been wrong with her, can they tell u anything that might help make her happy...she may be depressed or stressed..some anti D's can help sex drive
7. try porno
8. try IP viagra (it works for women as well), also testosterone therapy for women in their 40's and older is common to increase sexual desire...she wont be down with that but hey just an idea lol
9. lay off the test u horny mofo, she cant keep up
10. if all else fails just lick her pussy till she is screaming for ur SEE-OCK (pronounced seeeeeeeooooooock, my cool way of saying COCK, when i say that with my buddies chicks always look at me funny because they have no clue what a seeeeeock is...hahahahastupid bitches) that ALWAYS WORKS (make sure to lick the ass a little to while u are down there they love that)
good luck stry these things and give it a few weeks she just might come around and hey thank me at the wedding...haha...BK
Post #12
I am with fishamaan... she is either thinking of other people or things she has not tried or she is cheating.. sorry but 9 times out of 10 when a man/woman pulls back from the intimate part of the relationship those are the reasons.. well all this is from personal experiance..
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Post #13
SBS, sex is all mental. She is not into you for some reason. The problem is determining what that is. If you get the run around on the answer, then she is up to something fishy in my opinion.
If it is something specifically about you, then discern what that is. Be careful, women like to twist things around. It sounds like she is losing interest in the relationship and may be time for you to be apart from her.
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Post #14
I see two possibilities: 1) She's not into you anymore, but feels comfortable with you around. If that's the case, there may be someone else she is thinking about or doing; or 2) She's really not into the physical scene at all. Either way, you should walk, bro. Take it from an older guy who's been through it, you're too young to deal with crap like this. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't get too attached to one, she'll either cut your heart out or cut your balls off!
Post #15
Being older than most of you I've been through this. And my "prediction" is not good - because I've seen it before and it is the prelude to the breakup.
I agree with many on this thread, but in my experience there are two components (at least) involved. First, young women don't really care that much about sex. Why should they - they can get it any time and any where, so it means little to them.
Second, many women just don't have much of a "inherent" sex drive. By that I mean - their sex drive is totally controlled by their emotional side. When they feel really in love, they feel sexual - when the heat dies down a bit (which it *will* even in the strongest relationships) they lose all interest. As one previous poster said, this changes for most women in their late 30s, they get *real* interested - but that doesn't help you now.
It is good to have a woman who will do it "just for you" now and then - but when all of it is "just for you" look out - your whole relationship is on shaky ground.
And lastly - unless you can turn this situation around within a few months at most, I'd get out. I suffered through this sort of thing way too long to my regret. It isn't necessarily anyone's fault when love cannot be sustained - and IMHO if the love part of your relationship were *really* as healthy as you say, the sex part would at least be adequate. Let her go and find someone who does it for her, and you can too. If you don't, there is a chance you'll wake up one day to find she went ahead and did just that.
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maybe she's kreepin around Post #16
did you ever start to wonder if she's gettng it from someone else?!
Post #17
Bro, this sounds WAAYY too familiar. I was seeing this chick in my early 20's, had the talk about where the hell has the sex gone, yada yada...
Three months later, I get a call; can I come over, she wants to talk. My stupid ass gets dumped for some swinging dick she's met at her new job; various things happen to drive my self esteem into the ground. What fond memories.
My advice, and I'll admit I am seriously biased here, is walk. NOW. You've come up against those ol' irreconcilable differences, and ask anyone on the board: 'tis far, far better to dump than to be dumped.
Just my $0.02
Sorry this is long, but I thought a lot about it... Post #18
I don't agree that you've "tried to reason with her." Laying down an ultimatum ("give me sex or else") isn't reasoning with anyone, it's a power trip. While power can be a turn-on, being forced into giving up something that females regard with higher intimacy than us males do can be repulsive to them, and can associate sexuality with the sense of doing a chore in a woman's mind. The further you persist in this ultimatum stuff, the WORSE her reaction will be to sexuality. While us guys can get down anytime, anywhere (heck, we all know I'm as much of a horndog here as anyone), we ALL know that women are wired different.
The worst thing you could do would be to reinforce her association of sex with "duty," or a burden, or an unwilling surrender to pressure. It will make her feel unsexy, and dread performing.
There may be several things going on:
1. She might have religious or moral concerns about her sexuality right now, and fear disclosing them to you because you would not understand. Heck, SHE might not understand them, either--they might be new to her. But they would be a clear contrast to the "give it up or I'm gone" approach you're taking.
2. She might need reassurance that your relationship is more than sex. After all, even though you *claim* it is, the fact that you're willing to chuck it all over sex is a loud comment that the sex weighs more to you than the relationship with the rest of the girl. What if YOU made the change and deliberately gave her some of that chick-movie closeness WITHOUT any sexual pressure? It would assure her that you're in love with HER, and that sexuality is somehting you enjoy, but don't demand. Viola! Pressure is off! She can regain her confidence, and confidence is at leats as powerful a turn-on as power.
3. Have one of those conversations you'd never want another guy to hear you having. You know, the one girls like about "what our relationship means" and "what sex means." It's important that when you do this, that it NOT turn into a heart-to-heart begging for sex. It has to be something that shows her you're deeper than that, and even though we guys like the sex, we also know there's more to it. Right? Or is that wrong?
4. Consider breaking up after all. Not as punishment for not "putting out," but because we're mature men who understand that it's not fair to let our personal sexual needs become damaging to another person. Frankly, if we ARE all about sex, and little else, then fine--but be honest about that, and if your/our girlfriends can't accomodate that, we need to be honest about the lack of a future companionship, and just let it go.
fuck her and move on Post #19
you have been tagging that pussy for a year now so move on. fuck her. she wants to play little games acting like her pussy is made of gold? fuck that bro. and your in college? go get some strange bro. alittle something different. the hell with her. im tired of these bitches thinking their pussy could stop a fucking war!! beat it bitch! good luck and go find a nice little honey who is not up for head games
Re: Will my girlfriend ever put out again? Post #20
Originally posted by SBS
There could be many things going on here. She may REALLY have a low sex drive, she may need more non-sexual intimacy and like someone else said....dates (dinner/drinks/etc). Or she may be losing interest. In my experience when I lose interest in the other person, sex is the first to go.
I would talk to her a little deeper and get her to talk more about what is going on. You could both find a way to improve her sex drive, if that is the problem.
Good Luck.
Post #21
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Originally posted by bigkris23
.if she doesnt get off why would she wanna have sex......BK
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Gee... now, that couldn't POSSIBLY be it, could it??? Hmmm...
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Everyone looks better with a little 'Flex Appeal'
Post #22
Hey SBS...Is she on the pill? Or even worse the injections? The pill will asolutely kill some womens sex drive...thats why its so damn effective. LOL! Seriously though...my wife was pretty much the same way, then recently she came off the pill & now I can barely keep up.
Post #23
I'm with the same guy for 8 years now and married for 2 1/2 years and I still want sex with my man. And I think, it's the same for him. Sex is a very very very important side of a relationship
If one day one of us would change his view of the realtionship, we would have to sit down and look what the options are. There might be a serious problem(physical, or psychological-stress, too much work,etc).
You have to ask yourself several questions: Is it always the same way that you're having sex or is there any variation? Don't blame it only on yourself. It's true, some girls first catch their man with sex then went he's finally enough hoocked they stop giving him the candy!
Personnaly, I would not accept not having sex with the one I love!
LG
Post #24
Thanks guys again for the comments.. I agree with so many of you. Its so tough to say what the prob is with her. I feel as if I have been very rational with her. She is not seeing anyone else and I'm sure of this. A couple months ago she brought up that she feels that it is just wrong to have sex before marriage but she contractdicted herself before by having sex with me then just cutting me off and thats what bothers me. Her family is very religous and she is somewhat. She has issues dealing with her parents who put alot of guilt on her. So she is always trying to please them.
I guess I just feel as if its been this way for at least 6 months outta the 13 that we've dated that it wont change. I think she is a wonderful girl but I dont feel as if I can wait and wait to see if she becomes comfortable with this. She said she will feel comfortable with sex when were married. I have little desire to get married at this point and I dont want to get stuck in a relationship that has little physical contact. I look at the way she was brought up and I bet her dad hasn't got a piece from her mom in 20yrs
Im not pressuring her, I ask her and she becomes very quiet because she doesn't like to deal with her problems and she is a poor communicator. When we do have sex she always says something to imply she is uncomfortable. Such as stomach ache, headache the list truly goes on. The lights in the room are ALWAYS off and we have never had sex anywhere other than my bed plus she sleeps at my place everynight. It just shows how uncomfortable about things she is and there is an underlying problem. I've tried to convince her to go and talk to the free school counslers but she seems adamant about it. So ive tried. I just know there is alot of guys that have dealt with this situation. I just want to see if theres any hope.
Post #25
I agree with alot of points that the bros and bras have already made. This situation is like DEJA-VU to me.
I was with my lady for 4 years. As the relationship progressed our sex life was more interesting but less frequent. We tried new things but sex wasnt 5 times a day anymore.
It got to the point where I was getting it 1 time a month..and actually its been 6-7 mos now since ive had any...(Yes im deprived and i fuckin hate it
Anyway, to say the least, we are broken up...We didnt end the relationship based on that...but it happened...
Talking with my best buds about this, they also noticed that as the relationship went on longer, the less sex they got. Just my 2 cents...
ohhh...im also your age, 22 and she is now 23....very similar situation....
Post #26
Just a suggestion here. Try and not even mention sex at all for awhile. See if she asks YOU what is wrong. Maybe it IS a power thing. Knowing she has what you want and you have to beg for it. Don't make it an issue, control yourself and see what SHE does. Then move on. I'm 36 and divorced. Been there done that.
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Just move on Post #27
Never really had it happen to me, but I've gone out with some of those girls that claim they didn't have any sex in their relationship, with me they fuck like crazy (as long as they are in love!) once the love start fading it dosn't seem like sex is too important to them. Me I get screwed all the time, cuz I'm always ready to get laid. If not for this I would be out of my current relationship a long time ago (actually was out, but then after a few days of not having sex I felt like getting some again (yeah I know I'm a fucking idiot)). Bottom line, if they no longer want to fuck you there is something more to it. Your relationship is on real rocky ground!
Post #28
"She said she will feel comfortable with sex when were married."
DO NOT FALL FOR THE BANANA IN THE TAIL PIPE
thats bull shit and dont fall for that...are her friends getting married right now, are her friends getting preg, does she have sisters that are getting married or getting preg? my last GF was feeling the same way...she wanted marriage and tried to pressure me into it...it was manily becasue all her friends were getting married/preg and her older sister just got married and was talking about kids soon...its a clock thing to them, sometimes, very rarely it is true....
my new advice---break it off and move on...she well want u more for it...and then at least ull be getting laid...BIGKRIS
Post #29
When my girl won't give it up I just sneak up on her, punch her in the back of the head and then have my way with her!!! I'm just kidding of course, if I did that she'd probably murder me while I slept...
Post #31
Bro,I would give her an ultimatum-Either she seeks counseling(preferably sexual)or she will kiss your ass good bye.Trust me,she will not turn around on her own.I made the mistake of sticking it out with a woman EXACTLY like yours,she ended up getting pregnant(under very suspicious circumstances)and I married her,listening to all the"Well,when we get married things will be different"nonsense.Now,a dozen years later,I am still frustrated and disappointed to the point of insanity with this woman.She has gotten more and more frustrating to deal with after each year that passes by.Anymore,I will not come to her for sex,as she is so uptight in the bedroom that it is not enjoyable for me,it only leaves me feeling hurt and disappointed....The most frustrating thing about it for me is I love her with all my heart,and she is a VERY beautiful woman,but she just never could fully surrender herself to me,there's always a wall up that she will never let me pass....Take it from someone who has lived that nightmare,she will not get better,only worse,unless she seeks help.Good luck on whatever you decide my friend,and be careful.
Post #32
Once again thanks for the comments... I've yet to really deal with the problem because she is back home during our xmas break. I think she just has some serious mental hang-ups like many of you have suggested... Sometimes if something little goes wrong in her life she just snaps and cries for hours and will not talk to me. Its hard to explain but she makes you very sympathetic towards her. She just has a very fragile world and if one thing is off balance then everything is off balance. Its just been tough for me to understand her because I want to just help her, but she just gets so emotianlly volatile sometimes... I have only been with a few girls so my sexual expertise per say is not very good so I dont know what really to expect but I know that what I have as a physical portion of my relationship is not normal for a 20yr old chick.
I'm just tired of constantly struggling to find the right balance so everything is right and she feels comfortable but like many of you said she needs help and I now agree... So I will let her go which will be tough because her life is so intertwined with mine and she lives with some of my really good friends who I'm out with all the time.. But I'll be done with school in May so I can move and be gone of her... One thing is the sexual frustration sucks and its hard to have a attractive girl sleep in your bed almost everynight and not having sex but doing anything physical at all.. Oh btw she doesn't give BJ'S because she said it was gross. Haven't had one in 3 months after she told me that... Defiantely time for me to move on...
Post #33
Bro,u r to young to settle with 1`chick get out there get some numbers up............10 years from now u will be glad u did.The simple fact of the matter is some women just dont need much sex,and why should we have to crawl to them just to get some?It just gives them more power to fuck u over with.Sorry to say but flick this 1,or keep her as the back up gash and get urself something else.
Apologies that this is long... Post #34
Sorry, gentlemen, but it's time we did our homework on women. Read a little.
1) MOST (but not all) women dislike the dominant aggressive types. "F*uck me or else" just doesn't cut it.
2) Most problems in a relationship can be somehow traced back to something the man did or said.
3) Women are emotional creatures, men are logical. For example a man will say "She won't have sex with me. There must be a reason." Women will say, "He won't have sex with me. We have to talk."
4) Women are tactile creatures, men are visual. Women are swooned by touch, not by what they see. On the other hand, a man will blow his load when he sees a hot woman and not because his arm is stroked in 'just the right way.'
5) Sex for a woman is an emotional extension. Sex for a man is a physical extension.
6) Women basically want two things: to know that they are the center of your universe, and to feel secure.
SBS:
You have violated both aspects of #6. She does not feel secure knowing that sex is an overfocused part of your relationship. Because she believes (feels, emotionalizes) that you only want sex from her, she does not consider herself the center of your universe.
I've been happily married to the same woman for a little over 8 years now. We've been together since college. One thing I always let her know was that SHE (not sex) was the most important thing in the world to me (though she knows I really want it 24/7/365). Take this evening for instance: we were 'planning' (a necessity whe you have 3 children) a little physical get together tonight but our 5 month old is a little under the weather. Instead of pressing the issue, insisting on being satisfied, I told her that we would make it up tomorrow, knowing that neither of us would enjoy the evening if she was constantly attending to a fussy baby. She realizes a couple things: sex is not the 'end all-be all' of our relationship, and that I am concerned about her fulfillment during the sex experience.
Your girlfriend needs you to communicate with her, appeal to her emotional need for security, to be reassured of her importance to you. TELL her you love her, TELL her she is the most important thing in your life, but don't foul up the conversation by going, "now can we have sex?"
Not trying to flame, bro, and I hope you do not take this post as such. I just decided that I would rather live with the same woman for the rest of my life in love and happiness rather than battling with several women and failing in "love"; I hope you are of a similar mind. Before you go off and try the same approach with another woman as you did with this one, try to figure out where YOU went wrong with this one. At least then, if the two of you do part, you do so with new knowledge to make each successive relationship more prone towards fulfillment.
Cheers.
Post #35
kick her ass to the curb ....no more ultimatium ...dump her!@ If you think you are not getting laid now ....marry her and see how it drys up!
My wife divorced her ex because he was not doing her enough ...she figures around 17 time in 7 years ( and if you have seen her picture ....well you have to figure the man must be gay deep inside !)
Tell her you are moving on in your live and she is not coming with you ....telll her good bye!...Hell you shouldn't heve to continually romance her to get sex ....sometime you think she would just be horny! kick her out !
Post #36
quote:
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Originally posted by bigkris23
Ok my defination of love is when u are willing to sacrafice almost anything for someone...wedding...haha...BK
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He shouldn't sacrifice being happy because she is a good chick. There's lots of them. Why settle for something when he could be with someone who is alot more like him. You cant try and force things to work. He needs to let her go.
Post #37
SBS, wow I heaer you man. I was married for 5 years to a girl I fell in love with.. Sex was great at the beginning, but after about 2 years, it just started to dwindle , then stop all together with maybe a blowjob every couple months or so to shut me up.
A girl must feel love for her mate inside for her to "give" sex to her partner. They are so different then guys. This much you must understand. Is she was crazy about you and not just going through the motions your sex life would be wonderful.
If she can't work this out within herself. leave her. I know it's hard man, but imagine another 2 years down the road and your getting nothing.. How miserable you'll be, staring and gauking at other fine pcs of ass walking around thinking "damn, wish I can have 1/2 of that"...
Live is way too short bro to short yourself on what you CAN have...
....manta.....
Post #39
I think for me what deja voodoo said says it best that I can't force things to work.. I just seem to be working all my time to deal with these insecurities that she has. No flame taken "TheWeb", I see what your implying but maybe my post sounded like I was an overcharged sex pig but I'm not trying to force it on her and if she feels like that then she needs to deal with whats holding her back because something is holding her back from me. We have together tried to deal with these issues but she will absolutely not talk about them to me. Im frustrated to say the least and love the way she treats me and that is very hard to leave because I've been screwed royaly before by a couple of girls and I dont like the games.
Im faithful to her and treat her as my world because she is but when she holds things from me and has the insecurities and issues it just makes everything else in the relationship become resentful. Im a very unsettled person always pushing limits verified by my lifestyle but she is passive and happy with what is simple. As good as that is being happy with yourself and all it annoys me because I think life is a journey to constantly strive to better yourself no matter the risks and how small the improvements are.
I bring these problems up and she lays guilt trips on me, im sure that I have my faults in the relationship also but I can't deal with a non-physical relationship. Her world and mine are intertwined here in college. She will absolutely be destroyed when I break up with her. I will have to see her often because her friends are my friends. That makes things difficult. Last boyfriend she had she dated for 8 months and when he broke up with her she starved herself for 2 months because she thought she was at fault. I fear this because I do care for her but I don't want to see that kind of self-destructive behavior that she has because she places blame on herself like that. She will do something similiar when things go bad between us. This feeling of guilt is what has been holding me back and it seems I have been staying in this relationship outta sympathy for her situation. But I have tried and cannot resolve her problems so im just stuck i guess in fear of crushing her but I can't force things to work and I cannot accept a relationship where we cannot discuss what our problems are. I have seen many of you have been in the same situation as I and many of you feel the same way I do so that is nice reassurance. I just wish I didnt have to see her after I let her go... Just makes things 10x harder.
Post #40
I had kind of the same problem when I was in college. I dated a girl for 3.5 years before I decided I had had enough. After I broke it off, I moved to a different residence hall to get away from her. She came to my residence hall, sicced a resident advisor on me who forced me to "sit down and talk it out". After listening to her sob and weep for 3 hours, I said screw it and walked. She started following me to meetings on campus, coming to my dorm and slipping notes and CASH under my door, and generally driving me NUTS. I finally managed to cut her off completely when she saw me in the dining hall with my new gf's (now my wife) ring on. Screwed her up so bad I thought for sure she was going to kill herself. I saw her a year later, after my wife and I were engaged. She was pissed, but not dead so it all worked out in the end.
With her history of being mentally unstable, tell a campus advisor, counselor, residence advisor or someone that you are going to end the relationship just in case she decides to do something off the wall.
Cheers.
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