Some thoughts about "I didn't feel a connection" and the stronger recruiting chapters

[KSUViolet06]

There is something I don't think PNMs understand about "I didn't feel a connection" and I'm going to try to articulate it and have it make sense (from the perspective of someone who has worked with stronger chapters)

Most of the time, when a PNM says "I didn't feel a connection and I'm going to drop out to see if I can get a chapter I felt more connected with" it usually means that they are interested in a top recruiting chapter who dropped them rather early (like, before Pref) and want to go through again to see if they'll get one of them.

But here's the thing they do not get about connecting with the top chapters on a campus.

If you surveyed 100 PNMs at say, Texas 99 of them will tell you they felt connected with (example) Pi Phi, Chi O, etc. (not in a "not naming" mood this evening and really, if you google, you will know who is considered strong at any campus in 5 minutes.)

There's a reason they'll all say that.

Look at any strong recruiting chapter in your sorority. All of them have one thing in common. Ex: In Pi Phi it is probably Texas but every NPC has those rock star top tier chapters with recruitment. For Sigma it's Elon, Central MO, Truman State.

They are GOOD at recruitment week. They are excellent at conversation, they're highly involved on campus, they're polished.

It is their JOB to make you feel connected to them. They rush you well. So you are going to leave there feeling like you can see yourself there. Even if they have really had 70% of their invite list determined since May.

not saying they're fake because well, they are not. They are good hostesses and just good at every little detail and conversation that comes with recruitment and they put a lot of time into it.

So when they drop you, it stings and you pine away for them and think you're missing your destiny and that you are obviously meant to be a ______.

Meanwhile you are discounting and missing out on other perfectly good chapters who are legit connecting with you but maybe are not as polished as XYZ. Or maybe are giving you weird pairings when you met them at their houses so the experience is a little, well, off.

Not to take anything away from these strong groups but they have 99% returns and are ranked first on 99% of MRABAs for a reason. PNMs do not realize that these chapters are good at getting everyone to buy into their sales pitch, identify with them, and want to be a XYZ. That is what good rushers do. So what you think is connection is them being excellent recruiters (which they should be), regardless of whether they have room for you.

My point in all of this is not to discourage people or make them think that the sorority they like, love love love secretly hates them, just keep in mind that a certain percentage of chapters excel at making girls want them, and they simply do not have room for everyone so when they drop you, it is nothing personal. That, and what you may be seeing as "omg they really want to be my best friend" is really just going out of their way to make every PNM feel welcome and does not always = an invite to pref or a bid.

Thoughts and flames welcome.