To depledge, or not to depledge?

[CircleofLife]

My university is going through the colonization process. I had looked into sorotrities before, but hadn't found one I thought was a good fit for me and didn't honestly have the time. But this organization came to campus and I did my research and really thought it was a good fit for me.

Now, I'm a senior graduating in May. I chose to join the sorority. I have loved it, but the more I think about it, the more I'm questioning if it's the right choice for me.

Dues are $325. This cost is manageable, but I have a lot of costs coming up with grad school and the like and to pay the $325 is going to be rough. My grad school of choice requires a $400 deposit (much more than the $200-$250 I was expecting). I'm only going to be a fully initiated member for maybe a week before I turn around and become an alumnae member.

I'll never get to have a little, or be a big. I won't get to help set up a lot of traditions in just one semester. I won't get to participate in recruitment or bids. None of that. I was told I wasn't allowed to hold an officer position, so that's disheartening as well. I feel like I'm very invested, but I'm not sure if all of it is worth it when I'm more sad about leaving so soon instead of being excited to be a part of this.

We're about half-way through out new member process. It's going fine, but I feel disconnected to know that I'm leaving in just 2 months. I only have 3 months to make these strong bonds with my sisters and my organization, before I go off and graduation. And none of my potential grad schools have chapters there either.

So I guess...I'm debating if I should continue. Am I really contributing anything (besides money) to our first semester on campus? I can't be an officer. I'm leaving in May. I was really excited at first. I wanted to be a part of the founding class and start something amazing on campus. And so far, we've already done great things. But it makes me more sad now than anything. I still love the organization and the women, but I feel like to only do it for 3 months may not have been my wisest choice.

I'm just a bit lost, since I know most seniors don't join their last semester. I was just hoping for a bit of advice/guidance. I'd really appreciate it.

[LouisaMay]

I would suggest you stay. I understand the financial demands of college and graduate school quite well, but if you can find a way to come up with those dollars, do it. Right now, you might feel like you only have a couple of months to connect, but in truth you have 50+ years! You are at the very beginning of an exciting, lifelong experience. That might sound cheesy, but it is true. You have plenty of time to meet sisters, form bonds, and serve your organization.

Good luck as you make the decision that best suits you!

[FSUZeta]

Is this a NPC sorority? If so, you will not have to pay $325 after you graduate, because you will be an alumna. Alumnae dues are much less than collegiate dues, and with some NPC sororities alumnae dues are voluntary. If you stay in the sorority, you might be able to apply for a scholarship which might defray some of your grad. school costs.

You were not allowed to hold an office because you are graduating.You won't be able to rush because you are graduating, but if allowed, you can certainly assist your chapter behind the scenes. You can join an alumna chapter.

I would urge you not to terminate your membership. You have just a month or two to go before you graduate and become an alumna which ushers you into a lifetime member of your sorority.

[Titchou]

Some NPC groups will allow grad students to be in the chapter under certain conditions. You might also inquire about that. But please do think of the lifelong membership. You'll be an alum far longer than a collegian - even if you had pledged as a Freshman. I pledged 49 years ago this fall and am still active in my sorority....and will continue to be. That's where most of my friends are!

[adpiucf]

Stay. If you were an underclassman contemplating dropping out, my advice would be the same to stick it out through the end of the semester.

I agree about the scholarships. They won't be huge, but they will be a lot more than the couple hundred bucks you owe for dues this semester (and I found them really easy to get because people forget about them and don't apply!). Also, if you are moving to a new place, joining an alumnae association is a really easy way to make friends and make the place seem less foreign.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I think you will be hard pressed to find anyone here who will recommend you drop under these circumstances. If you truly can't afford dues because of unexpected costs, talk to your chapter treasurer and see if a payment plan is possible. You're so close to the home stretch of the end of the semester. To resign, you need to make sure you are paid up as of the time you put in your notice, so we're talking about saving money on two months of dues, tops. Is that really worth it after all the effort you've put in to be no longer be recognized for all your hard work this year? Although sorority life is not "paying for your friends," your sisters will be hurt and confused by your leaving, and it could temporarily stunt your friendships with them. That could upset you and throw you off your game when it comes to focusing on schoolwork and school obligations. With just a few months left until graduation (and final exams), I wouldn't recommend doing anything rash to jeopardize your grades.

I get it. You have a lot going on, and you're feeling overwhelmed about graduation, grad school, the sorority, etc. So it seems natural that something's got to go to make you feel less stressed out. But nothing you have said makes it seem like you don't like your sorority or that this is a dire financial situation. I want to point out that I'm all for people dropping out if they are completely miserable with their sorority. Life's too short if something isn't working out for you. But that doesn't seem the case here. It will really help to talk to your family, friends, and sisters about these concerns.

[AOII Angel]

You don't have to be an officer to make an impact on your sorority. Enjoy the rest of your time on campus. You'll never get it back. Look online for alumnae chapters in the towns where you are going for grad school...I bet there are groups there. Everyone's sorority experience is a little different. Some people only get a semester because their chapter gets closed, some people have to transfer after a semester, and some people like you get the awesome experience of helping to colonize a new chapter at the end of their college experience. If you had wanted all the rest of the sorority swag (little sis, officer position, etc) you should have joined a sorority earlier in your college career. At this point, you are getting an opportunity to join a sisterhood with benefits for life. Sorry you can't get all the collegiate benefits. Not all members get them.

[Gusteau]

I would also add that I have had a much richer, more fulfilling membership experience as an alumnus and I don't think my experience is unique. My closest Delta Chi friends are the ones I've met since graduating, and the general fellowship I've found among alumni members is so much stronger than it was among my undergraduate chapter. I'm sure many members of GC have also felt this.

And for the record, I had an "ideal" undergraduate experience - chapter president, Greek Man of the Year, many committee chair positions, a great big brother, and multiple little brothers... Even with this I value and enjoy Delta Chi so much more as an alumnus.

[pbear19]

For what it's worth, I am an alumna initiate, which means that I never spent any time as a collegian. Not even the semester that you will have! And I wouldn't trade my membership in Gamma Phi for anything in the world. My sisters are among my very best friends. I volunteer with two local chapters and am an officer in my alumnae chapter. If I really wanted to, between advisory activities and alumnae chapter activities, I could easily attend 2-3 or more Gamma Phi events every week. Is it the same as collegiate membership? Absolutely not. But there are many, many rewards to being an active alumna. Those dues that may seem daunting now are your ticket to a lifetime of opportunities.

[IrishLake]

Don't quit! Please! Membership is for a lifetime. I have put more into my alumna membership than I ever did my undergraduate membership. I chose not to run for an office. I nearly chose not to have a Little (I did, and she transferred the following quarter and I never took another). Not because I didn't WANT those experiences or that I wouldn't be good at them, but because I wore myself out in high school trying to do too much, and I had to think of the financial cost involved. I had a major that demanded weekend field trips, I also worked 25-30 hours a week, so those "extra" parts of my membership just weren't in the cards for me.

You can work behind the scenes during your groups first official formal recruitment. You can volunteer as an advisor for your group. You can join an alumnae group. Don't let those minor details of recruitment and not being an officer prevent you from having a lifetime of membership. You don't NEED those to have a great sisterhood experience! Put as much as you can into your group right now. You will get out of it whatever you put in!

Yes, and Alumnae dues are so much cheaper. Theta's alumnae dues is $15 a YEAR.

If there's a younger member who you feel close to and could kind of be like a pseudo-Little, then if she ever takes a Little herself, spoil that pseudo-grandlittle.

[ASTalumna06]

Stay!

And regarding the money situation - definitely discuss this with the president or advisor, and see if you can set up a payment plan, as others have mentioned. Also, see if there's a way that you won't have to pay a portion of those dues. My chapter's new member dues were pretty similar to yours. Over the years, I've known of 2 sisters who joined in their last semester of school, and the chapter nearly cut their dues in half. Keep in mind that this may depend on what your dues cover. For example, part of our new member dues paid for a lettered football-like practice jersey with our nicknames on the back that we got after initiation. These were fine to wear in school, but for someone graduating, who knows they'll probably never wear it, it wasn't worth it to buy, so the chapter dropped that from their dues.

It can't hurt to ask! I'm sure they'll understand your situation and why you're looking to save a couple bucks.

[ZTA1550]

Stay. Although my undergrad sorority experience was just about perfect, I feel like I'm making so much more of an impact as an alumna and advisor to a collegiate chapter. And I have made great alumnae friends in the process who hail from chapters all around the country.

Make the most of your remaining time as a collegiate -- and then embrace your alumnae status and volunteer with a collegiate chapter.

[KDCat]

Stay. I'll be 44 very shortly and I think your membership will be more valuable than you know.

You will be one of the first alums from your chapter and they need you. They need you to help with CAB/House Corp. They need you to be there for recruitment. They need you to act as a mentor and advisor for younger ladies. The colonization team picked you because they thought you would make good contributions to the chapter.

I know that you are going to graduate soon, but your membership as an alumna will provide you with a social network that spreads across the US.

I have made friends and experienced sisterhood as alum. I've met a ton of women who I am very fond of through volunteering with alumnae chapters, CABs, and House Corps. I have found that they are very welcoming to me and open to making friends, even if they don't know me from Adam. I've had more success making friends as an alumna than I have in other venues. It just seems easier to find women with whom I have things in common through my sorority than it is through other social venues. We have shared values and shared experiences and it makes a difference.

So... I'd stay. I'd spend the dues for the next two months and pay the initiation fees to have that in my back pocket.

[LouisaMay]

LOVE this thread. Talk about sorority warm-and-fuzzies.

[WCsweet<3]

STAY! Even though I graduated only two years ago, my alumnae experience has been amazing! If you are going to grad school close by there will be times you can help and still make your mark on your chapter. If you are going to school farther away there may be a chapter near by or an alumnae chapter (which I highly highly suggest) that you could help/join. Alumnae associations are a great place to get involved and to connect with other sisters. I love meeting sisters from all over the country and having that common bond.

Also some alumnae panhellenics give scholarships to alumnae continuing their education. Portland panhellenic is giving one to an active sorority alumna who is in grad school or job training of some kind.

[Kevin]

I've seen other ladies in your exact same situation (founding members of their chapter) go through the exact same debate. Some of those ladies are now founding members and very active as alumnae. One of our chapter's advisory board members and another member of our alumni softball team rushed as either Juniors or Seniors (I can't recall which). The gentleman we initiated as the first member of our chapter, at the time of his graduation was 2-3 years past graduation and had settled in as chapter adviser. He now works for a major NGO in D.C., but is able to regularly attend advisory board meetings via Skype as well as do an occasional leadership development workshop for the chapter.

Your opportunities to benefit your chapter and benefit from your chapter can continue well after graduation, and as a founding member, you're always going to have a place of honor at the table.

You'd be crazy to pass this thing up. Nuts.