Dropping Right After Rush

[razor12]

At my university, we just had rush last week. I unfortunately signed to a fraternity Tuesday. I recieved bids from several, but sort of felt obligated and was a tad bit "guilt tripped" into signing with this one. I quickly realized (hours later really) after meeting most of the brothers that this one is not for me at all. We have our "pledge ceremony" next week.

I was wondering are you possibly allowed to drop a fraternity and maybe resign with another one the same semester with a potential mid-semester recruitment situation? I know this makes me sort of an a*shole and I feel bad dropping one just to join another, but this fraternity is a huge disappointment. I was also wondering how another fraternity would feel about recruiting someone who recieved a bid from them, but denied it initially. I would guess they would be hesitant and judge my loyalty and I realize this kind of makes me look like a "quitter," but i'm not at all. I'm the complete opposite of unloyal and a quitter. This is just a really sh*tty situation.

I only signed with IFC (at rush) so I haven't been "initiated" or anything. I have only been signed for 5 days.

Appreciate it you guys.

[OSUPhantom]

I guess it would depend on your school's IFC rules however you don't have to stay with an organization you don't like. Contact your school's IFC and ask them what the rules are and if they'll let you join another organization then contact that fraternity and explain the situation. Chances are they aren't going to be nasty about it and would welcome you.

Best of luck!

[Psi U MC Vito]

There might still be time to try to get into another fraternity if you want, but most fraternities will not hold a special pinning ceremony for one person. If it is too late, I would wait it out at least a couple of weeks just to make sure.

[LaneSig]

Like OSUPhantom stated, check with your Greek Life Office on the IFC rules for your campus.

Quite frankly, if you came to my fraternity after we offered you a bid and you had declined us for a different group, you better have an excellent explanation for why we should not rescind our bid and let you join us. "Guilt trip" wouldn't cut it.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by OSUPhantom

Chances are they aren't going to be nasty about it and would welcome you.

They may not be nasty about it, but I wouldn't say that "chances are" they'd be welcoming. I think the likelihood of that would be highly dependent on the campus culture and chapter culture.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

They may not be nasty about it, but I wouldn't say that "chances are" they'd be welcoming. I think the likelihood of that would be highly dependent on the campus culture and chapter culture.

And how competitive the fraternities are...I know that there was a WRC on my campus that threw a big rush one year, tons of cool events, tons of money spent, etc., and they got a lot of guys, but they were viewed as kinda buying PNM's and the other fraternities resented them for what they viewed as an attempt to "trick" rushees. I think if someone depledged from there, they would have to eat some crow and admit they fell for it, but could honestly humble themselves in front of another group and get a bid.

[greekdee]

The way I'm reading your post, you have not actually pledged yet, but have signed a bid card. You've been given good advice here, so follow up quickly with IFC and find out what your options are at this stage of the game.

As for the other fraternity, all you can do is speak with them. I would start with the rush chairman. They liked you enough to extend you a bid, so they might be willing to hear you out. Tell them you made a mistake, but take care not to dog the other fraternity.

I'm curious as to what made you feel guilt-tripped into signing.

[knight_shadow]

At my university, IFC made a huge deal with Bid Day, and everyone knew which pledge ended up where. You may already be "damaged goods" to the other chapters, considering bids went out within the past week. I think it would be different if it had been a semester, but you're likely still fresh in their minds.

[razor12]

Appreciate the advice and help guys. I haven't spoken with our campus IFC yet, but I have spoken with the rush chair of the other fraternity. He was pretty cool and welcoming about it. He's going to talk to me more tomorrow on how to drop mine and sign with them.

I was actually suprised on how cool he was about the situation.

No, pledging for the fraternity i've signed onto has not even started yet. It won't for another week.

[greekdee]

Good deal -- sounds like things are working out for you.

[KappaSig_Eta]

Originally Posted by razor12

Appreciate the advice and help guys. I haven't spoken with our campus IFC yet, but I have spoken with the rush chair of the other fraternity. He was pretty cool and welcoming about it. He's going to talk to me more tomorrow on how to drop mine and sign with them.

I was actually suprised on how cool he was about the situation.

No, pledging for the fraternity i've signed onto has not even started yet. It won't for another week.

I'm sure everything is already settled by now (since it is 5 days later) but since you haven't gone through the pledging ceremony you should be fine. The general IFC rule is usually once you go through the pledge ceremony you have to wait a calendar year from when you de-pledge to be able to pledge another fraternity.

Other than that, I hope everything worked out and that you feel like you belong. That was the deciding factor for me between two fraternities that were both good.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by KappaSig_Eta

The general IFC rule is usually once you go through the pledge ceremony you have to wait a calendar year from when you de-pledge to be able to pledge another fraternity.

This varies from campus to campus. It may be this rule on your campus but there are many campuses where this isn't the rule.

[KappaSig_Eta]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

This varies from campus to campus. It may be this rule on your campus but there are many campuses where this isn't the rule.

That's why I said "The general IFC rule is usually"
If you went through pledging there is usually some kind of wait period.