Dating an "anti-greek" XYZ alumn?

DGpledge · #1 12-19-2001, 07:59 PM

I don't get it, this guy who is an XYZ alumn is completely dissing the Greek system. He's older now and is completely over how "superficial" it all is, and constanly says how he would never want to date or befriend even a "sorority girl" and talks so much crap about how sorority girls are, all the stereotypes, etc...

I met him in class, we first got together to study for finals, and have now gone out a couple time since school let out. He has no idea I'm in a sorority, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and so didn't want to tell him I was in a sorority just so that I wouldn'f sound offended by anything he was saying. Cause really I don't care, as I said everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But now I'm wondering if it'll bug him when he finds out? It kinda seems too late to tell him now. I'm so confused. What do you all think about this mess?

carnation · #2 12-19-2001, 08:02 PM

Why would you want to date someone who's nasty about something that means a lot to you?

DGpledge · #3 12-19-2001, 08:09 PM

I don't take anything he says personally. He's just had a couple of bad run-ins. That was enough for him to just think everyone is alike or whatever. As a person I really like him. When he realizes I'm a DG it'll be like a slap on the face, cause he knows I'm not "like all the other girls" and he'll eat up everything he said.

Timing is everything. Do I wait til he finds out, or do I tell him? Afterall, he never did ask me if I was part of a sorority...

IowaHawkeye · #4 12-19-2001, 08:16 PM

wow thats tough... if you wait until he finds out, while not at all fair, he might say you were hiding that from him, everything you said was an act?

if you tell him, you make him look like a fool (which he is for judging a whole system on isolated instances) and it makes it seem like you were setting him up for an "i told you so"

next time he says something bad about sorority girls, i would casually mention, oh yeah, i'm a DG. he did never ask, so you were never obligated to tell him. he likes you for who you are obviously, isn't that enough?

33girl · #5 12-19-2001, 08:17 PM

Wait till one of the following moments:

-after he's blown a wad of money on dinner for you, or
-in the middle of being romantic

and say "by the way honey, I'm a DG. Do you still like me?"

If he walks away from you because of it, then he is the superficial one, and not worth your time. He met you and it didn't even cross his mind that you were Greek because you didn't live up to his narrow stereotype. He assumed you weren't in a sorority. And you know what happens when we assume.

DGpledge · #6 12-19-2001, 08:34 PM

IowaHawkeye-
Yeah, the last thing I want is for him to think I was "hiding" it from him because I am not. I'm Greek & Proud!

I just don't feel the need to walk around with a big sign on my forehead announcing it! & Yeah, I don't want to make him feel stupid or uncomfortable either.

33girl-
LMAO!! That would be so hillarious! He's about to kiss me..."Uh...I'm a DG!!" He'd be all "..huh? what are you talking about?" That'd be the furthest thing from his mind at that moment.

SoCalGirl · #7 12-20-2001, 01:45 AM

If I was in this situation I would casually show up in letters. Or something like that. You know like asking him to get something from my car; tossing him the keys w/ my letters. Or I'd ask him over to my place to hang out. Hard to miss the paddles and pictures of my sisters.

Or even better; ask him to the next formal.

James · #8 12-20-2001, 08:52 PM

Over dinner lean over, while looking as hot as you can, and say, "I wanted to tell you before, but I didn't get a chance, that I am a Delta Gamma, I hope it doesn't change anything".

Assuming he has any blood flow to his brain he should be fine although he might be embarrassed. He's not going to drop you. Most people that talk shit about whatever, aren't really that attached to their anger, they are just hurt, bitter, or like to hear themselves rant.

And if he is going to be psychotic and totally freak on you, better now than later.

Good luck.

HeavenslilAngel · #9 12-21-2001, 12:44 AM

I would be honest and up front. I like openess and honesty. My involvement in a sorority is among the first things I tell a guy or anyone else for that matter. A conversation with me goes something like this:

The guy: "So what do you do for fun?" (or something to that effect).

My response: "Well I'm in school and in a sorority and I work."

If they have a problem with that well then a relationship with them isn't meant to be and I want someone who either could careless about my greek involvement (regardless of their opinion on it) or is in support. I can not have someone that is against greeks in general and against me being in the greek system because I'm greek for life and proud of it. I plan to help out my alum chapter and really be involved and the only thing that would hold me back from this goal would be time constraints with my job. So, I have to have someone who doesn't care what I do as long as I'm happy or is in support of greek life himself or is a greek himself.

YAY FOR GREEKS! LOL