I am dropping out of my sorority - do you think how I'm planning on doing it is right

beatlesfan1 · #1 04-15-2013, 06:17 PM

I live an hour away from my school with my dad and he is moving out this June and I cannot go with him (he will not have enough room). I have been looking at apartments for months and all are way too expensive around my school and I'm tired of commuting. On top of that, I found out I am getting laid off at the end of next month, one week after this semester is over. My boyfriend and I decided to move about 6 hours away to a city we love that's really close to my extended family. The apartments are incredibly affordable and there is also a school up there that was my first choice, but I never applied because it was too far. So moving away to an awesome city with my boyfriend, near my family, and transferring to the school I wanted to go to in the first place sounds like a win win situation. I know that I may not get into the school (I believe I have a good chance with my GPA though) but I feel like with the lay off and me being forced to find a place, this is the best decision. I'm leaving in 6 weeks and I am very excited! I'm appying to the school this summer for next Spring as well. Only thing is, is I literally JUST got initiated into my sorority last week. I decided to finish out this semester since I only have 4 weeks left and let them know this summer that I will not be coming back for Fall. Is this a bad idea to wait until summer to tell them that I opt out? Who should I reach out to? What's going to happen? I was planning just on calling my Big and letting her know and I'm guessing I have to talk to the President?

I do like my sorority a lot, but I have made up my mind and like I said I am very excited. Since I like the other school better and I'm getting laid off/forced to move the ONLY thing holding me back from moving is my sorority and I am not going to stay just for that. I totally understand that I cannot join again/join another and I am content with that. I have had a fabulous semester and met so many great people and I will remember this experience for forever, but this is something I NEED and want to do. So please tell me if it's bad if I just let them know in the middle of summer and what the process is going to be like? Thanks!

carnation · #2 04-15-2013, 06:32 PM

Why would you quit? If you just don't come back, you're an alum. If you quit, you can never have alum benefits.

DeltaBetaBaby · #3 04-15-2013, 06:34 PM

Are we talking about an NPC group? Are you transferring to a school that has a chapter of your organization? If not, most NPC just give you alumna status. Talk to your chapter adviser.

aephi alum · #4 04-15-2013, 08:03 PM

^ What she said. If it's an NPC sorority and there's a chapter at your new school, you can try to affiliate with that chapter and continue to enjoy the collegiate experience. If not, you become an alumna. The alumna experience is very different, but can be very rewarding. But if you outright disaffiliate and turn in your pin, you will lose out on that experience. If you can't affiliate with a chapter at your new school, you have nothing to lose by going alum rather than disaffiliating.

If it's not an NPC sorority, you'll have to check with your sisters.

Either way, I'd tell your big sister before the end of the semester, and let her guide you. The recruitment chair needs to know you won't be back next fall to help with recruitment (if you have fall recruitment). The treasurer needs to know, for budgeting reasons, that you won't be paying dues after this semester. And you don't want to burn any bridges with any of your sisters, since you might very well run into some of your chapter sisters at conventions or find yourself working with them during your involvement on the alum level.

FSUZeta · #5 04-15-2013, 08:07 PM

But you do not have to affiliate at your new school, if there is a chapter of your sorority there, and it is a NPC sorority.

beatlesfan1 · #6 04-15-2013, 08:23 PM

It is a NPC, so I can become an alum because I'm transferring even though I'm not graduating at the school? And thanks, we're doing tons of fall recruitment so ill let every one know next week!

thetalady · #7 04-15-2013, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlesfan1

It is a NPC, so I can become an alum because I'm transferring even though I'm not graduating at the school?

Absolutely!! There is no reason at all to quit, from what you have posted here.

beatlesfan1 · #8 04-15-2013, 08:55 PM

Thanks everyone so much! You have no idea how happy I am that I am becoming an alum. I really did not want to quit and I had no idea that I could become an alum by transferring. I am extra excited and happy about my decision and I will check to see if my sorority is at my new school. Thanks again, I'll let my big know so she can guide me on what to do!!

DubaiSis · #9 04-16-2013, 01:03 AM

And I would tell them as soon as possible. It doesn't sound like your chapter has a house, but there may be other issues (budgeting for one or any leadership roles you hold) that they will suffer with if they don't have as much notice as possible.

beatlesfan1 · #10 04-16-2013, 01:15 AM

Thanks Dubai, that was actually my next question. I literally have the rest of this week and then 3 weeks until this semester is over. I just got initiated so I don't hold any leadership positions, so does anyone know what is going to happen next? How long is this process going to take and is there anything I need to be aware of that is coming up? I'm going out to lunch with my big sis next week so I was gonna tell her then, do you think that's enough time? I guess I just want to know the time frame and what's going to happen in order to get me in the process of becoming an alum.

Also just a matter of opinion...do you think my Big/the girls in the sorority are going to think it's weird that I JUST got initiated and I'm already telling them that I decided to move and becoming an alum? Thanks guys.

& yes I do not live in the house/we do not have a house at the moment.

AOII Angel · #11 04-16-2013, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlesfan1

Thanks Dubai, that was actually my next question. I literally have the rest of this week and then 3 weeks until this semester is over. I just got initiated so I don't hold any leadership positions, so does anyone know what is going to happen next? How long is this process going to take and is there anything I need to be aware of that is coming up? I'm going out to lunch with my big sis next week so I was gonna tell her then, do you think that's enough time? I guess I just want to know the time frame and what's going to happen in order to get me in the process of becoming an alum.

Also just a matter of opinion...do you think my Big/the girls in the sorority are going to think it's weird that I JUST got initiated and I'm already telling them that I decided to move and becoming an alum? Thanks guys.

People change schools all the time. It's not that uncommon. I'd expect they'd be sad to see you go. As for what to expect next, every group is a little different. You need to make sure that you leave your chapter in good standing, meaning that you having paid any outstanding dues or fines. Let your chapter president know ASAP so she can fill out any appropriate paperwork. Depending on your organization, you will be an alumna or an inactive member once you transfer. Discuss this with you chapter adviser so you know the specifics for YOUR organization as it varies for each.

adpiucf · #12 04-16-2013, 09:12 AM

Write a letter to your chapter president and adviser. Sign it and date it. The letter need only say that, "I am transferring schools to complete my BA at ABC college. I will not be enrolled at XYZ university in the fall. Thank you. Sincerely, Your Name." Meet with the chapter president and chapter adviser and make sure you are fully paid up on dues by end of the semester. Get some confirmation in writing from them that they know you are not coming back, will not be assessing you dues, and you will not be an active member of that chapter. Good luck at your new school and congrats! See if your sorority has an alumnae association in your new town. If there is a collegiate chapter at the new school, you can look into the possibility of affiliating with them (the transfer chapter must vote to accept you).

thetalady · #13 04-16-2013, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlesfan1

Thanks Dubai, that was actually my next question. I literally have the rest of this week and then 3 weeks until this semester is over. I just got initiated so I don't hold any leadership positions, so does anyone know what is going to happen next? How long is this process going to take and is there anything I need to be aware of that is coming up? I'm going out to lunch with my big sis next week so I was gonna tell her then, do you think that's enough time? I guess I just want to know the time frame and what's going to happen in order to get me in the process of becoming an alum.

Also just a matter of opinion...do you think my Big/the girls in the sorority are going to think it's weird that I JUST got initiated and I'm already telling them that I decided to move and becoming an alum? Thanks guys.

& yes I do not live in the house/we do not have a house at the moment.

I really think you are making a much bigger deal of this than it really is. No, it is not weird that you just got initiated and are leaving. It's life. People change schools all the time. There is no need for all this DRAMA and worry. Just tell them, no need to wait for next week.

dzandiloo · #14 04-16-2013, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady

I really think you are making a much bigger deal of this than it really is. No, it is not weird that you just got initiated and are leaving. It's life. People change schools all the time. There is no need for all this DRAMA and worry. Just tell them, no need to wait for next week.

cosign.

beatlesfan1 · #15 04-16-2013, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady

I really think you are making a much bigger deal of this than it really is. No, it is not weird that you just got initiated and are leaving. It's life. People change schools all the time. There is no need for all this DRAMA and worry. Just tell them, no need to wait for next week.

I don't think there is going to be any drama, I guess it's really not that big of a deal, I've just never dealt with any of this before so I don't know what to expect which is why I'm asking questions. But you're right, I'm sure it's not going to be a big deal at all. I will tell my Big tomorrow since we have class together and I'm sure everyone will be more than happy for me that I'm moving and becoming an alum or inactive member. Once again, thanks everyone for your help!