"Thank you for your service."

[WhiteRose1912]

When you meet someone who's in the military, or who has performed military service, do you thank them for their service? What if you see someone in uniform?

If you are in the military, or the family member of a military member, how do you/your loved one feel about being thanked for military service?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by WhiteRose1912

When you meet someone who's in the military, or who has performed military service, do you thank them for their service? What if you see someone in uniform?

Yes, I do thank them for putting their lives on the line, and paying the price to keep the U.S. a free country, because freedom is not free. I just think it's sad that there are homeless veterans in this country. That, to me is totally unacceptable. But yes, I do thank them depending on where I am or what the situation is.

[KDCat]

No. I live in a base town. I greatly value my friends and neighbors, but I don't bug them at the grocery store/dry cleaners/Target. Seriously. I've seen people who are just trying to grab a gallon of milk get chased down by some guy in the grocery store who wants to say "Thank you for your service." Dude, that's great, but the person you are thanking really needs to get some milk and get the kids from aftercare before it closes. Quit bugging him/her.

It's different on Memorial Day or when people are just coming back or when they are deploying or when our town has its picnic for military families. I always say something then.

A few of the people who do the grocery store thing just ooze smugness, too. (Not everyone, but a few.) It's very off-putting. I want to ask them if they do anything else for military families. Do you tell your Congress critters that long wars without a draft are really hard on families because the kids and the parents have to go through multiple deployments? Do you tell your representatives that military families need better VA benefits? Do you tell your representatives that the quality of schools in the communities are bases are very important to military families and that they should do something about education in their state? Do you tell your representatives that a new bomber program is great, but military families could really use better pay? Do you tell your representatives that military families could really use better psychiatric care for returning soldiers and that we don't have enough psych counselors for these people? Do you tell your representatives that military families that are leaving the military really need more help transitioning to a civilian job market?

[IrishLake]

No, I don't. I used to, but not anymore.

My husband is a firefighter for the largest department in the state. He does not like being thanked. He does not like being called a hero. He says it's his job, it's one he chose to do, and one he's lucky enough to get paid very well for. He expects no thanks, he just expects to be paid every week. The vast majority of firefighters he works with feel the same.

A good bunch of the fire and police personnel we know, plus family members, are current and former military. The general consensus among them is that it is appropriate to say thank you to veterans and active duty members on Memorial Day, July 4th, and Veterans Day. They don't want to be thanked when they're just running into the grocery store. Or trying to eat lunch out.

Instead, I just try to establish eye contact and smile. But then again, I do that to most people I pass by.

Funny quick story (I can't remember if I told this here or not):
About a month or so ago, I had to run into the local bank branch. I told my older 2 kids to sit in some of the waiting chairs while baby girl and I went and talked to a teller (I had left my ATM card in their ATM overnight). My son, who is 4 and has ZERO patience for anything, gets up and walks over to me and starts to ask me what's taking so long, and I tell him he needs to return to his seat and sit quietly. While he's doing that, an Army soldier walks in the front door, and goes to sit down in the same chair that my son had just been sitting in. My son says to the soldier, "NO! That's my chair!" And runs and jumps up into the chair really fast before the soldier can sit. I'm mortified, but the soldier just laughs, and moves to another chair. I finished up with the teller, and turn to collect my older 2 children. Before we leave though, I turn to my son and say, "You need to go apologize to that soldier. What you did was rude. You could have sat in a different chair." He nods at me, and walks toward to soldier. Bless his sweet little heart, he says, "Sorry soldier." The guy smiles, says, "That's ok buddy." My son smiles up at him, looks thoughtful for a second, and says, "Hmmmmmmm....... I farted."

The soldier couldn't stop laughing, and I just shrugged my shoulders... that's my boy!

[ADqtPiMel]

Originally Posted by KDCat

No. I live in a base town. I greatly value my friends and neighbors, but I don't bug them at the grocery store/dry cleaners/Target. Seriously. I've seen people who are just trying to grab a gallon of milk get chased down by some guy in the grocery store who wants to say "Thank you for your service." Dude, that's great, but the person you are thanking really needs to get some milk and get the kids from aftercare before it closes. Quit bugging him/her.

It's different on Memorial Day or when people are just coming back or when they are deploying or when our town has its picnic for military families. I always say something then.

A few of the people who do the grocery store thing just ooze smugness, too. (Not everyone, but a few.) It's very off-putting. I want to ask them if they do anything else for military families. Do you tell your Congress critters that long wars without a draft are really hard on families because the kids and the parents have to go through multiple deployments? Do you tell your representatives that military families need better VA benefits? Do you tell your representatives that the quality of schools in the communities are bases are very important to military families and that they should do something about education in their state? Do you tell your representatives that a new bomber program is great, but military families could really use better pay? Do you tell your representatives that military families could really use better psychiatric care for returning soldiers and that we don't have enough psych counselors for these people? Do you tell your representatives that military families that are leaving the military really need more help transitioning to a civilian job market?

I'm from an Army family and this sums up how I feel way better than I ever could have written it.

[33girl]

If you're introduced to someone by a mutual friend, I should think it would be OK then. But chasing down random people at the grocery store - that's crazycakes.

[XAntoftheSkyX]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

My son smiles up at him, looks thoughtful for a second, and says, "Hmmmmmmm....... I farted."

The soldier couldn't stop laughing, and I just shrugged my shoulders... that's my boy!

[ASTalumna06]

No. My brother, 2 cousins, my stepdad, and numerous friends have served/are currently serving, and they all say the same thing... It's awkward.

Put yourself in their shoes. If someone came up to you and said, "Thank you," what do you say back? "You're welcome"? "No problem"? It's a strange thing to have to respond to, especially when for many of them, this is just a job that they chose to do.

On a day like Memorial Day or Veterans Day, I can understand. But any other day, I just don't do it. As my brother once said to me, "I just assume most people are appreciative. They don't need to thank me."

The only times I've thanked a soldier is while sitting at a bar. I've started talking to them, discovered through a conversation that they were serving, and told the bartender that their next drink is on me. They say, "Thank you," I say it back, we both say, "Cheers," glasses clink, the end.

[christiangirl]

I saw a woman in uniform outside the mall yesterday. We made eye contact then she saw me do a double take at her and my eyes traveled over her uniform. I looked back at her eyes, gave her a smile, and waved. She smiled back and waved. She clearly understood what I was thinking so that was enough.

[AGDee]

Only on those special days.. Memorial Day, Independence Day and Veteran's Day, usually at the parades.

[thetalady]

Interesting thread & something I have long wondered about. I see a lot of soldiers at the DFW airport. How about saying something there? They are in uniform & obviously deploying in or out. If they are clearly concentrating on getting somewhere, I don't bother them. If they are not in a hurry, I sometimes say something or at least smile & mouth "thank you".

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I would not initiate a conversation for this purpose, but may add it to an existing conversation. For example, I ride the Metra line that goes from the naval base to downtown, and I get asked for directions a lot when riding on weekends. So, at the end of the conversation, if someone thanks me, I'll respond with "no, thank you" or something like that. I think that acknowledging military service is as good as any other pleasantry with which someone ends a conversation.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Interesting thread & something I have long wondered about. I see a lot of soldiers at the DFW airport. How about saying something there? They are in uniform & obviously deploying in or out.

This isn't the case. My brother is in the Army and he's only had to wear his uniform while traveling by air once - when he was going from basic training in SC to his advanced training in AZ.

He actually didn't even need to wear his uniform when going to Iraq. The requirement to wear a uniform while traveling depends on multiple factors, and it can also vary by military branch.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I would not initiate a conversation for this purpose, but may add it to an existing conversation. For example, I ride the Metra line that goes from the naval base to downtown, and I get asked for directions a lot when riding on weekends. So, at the end of the conversation, if someone thanks me, I'll respond with "no, thank you" or something like that. I think that acknowledging military service is as good as any other pleasantry with which someone ends a conversation.

This also seems ok to me, and doesn't make for an awkward situation. Like with the bar example I provided earlier, if they thank you for something first, I don't think it's awkward to say it back.

But I would never make it a point to go up to someone I've never talked to and say "Thank you."

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KDCat

No. I live in a base town. I greatly value my friends and neighbors, but I don't bug them at the grocery store/dry cleaners/Target. Seriously. I've seen people who are just trying to grab a gallon of milk get chased down by some guy in the grocery store who wants to say "Thank you for your service." Dude, that's great, but the person you are thanking really needs to get some milk and get the kids from aftercare before it closes. Quit bugging him/her.

It's different on Memorial Day or when people are just coming back or when they are deploying or when our town has its picnic for military families. I always say something then.

A few of the people who do the grocery store thing just ooze smugness, too. (Not everyone, but a few.) It's very off-putting. I want to ask them if they do anything else for military families. Do you tell your Congress critters that long wars without a draft are really hard on families because the kids and the parents have to go through multiple deployments? Do you tell your representatives that military families need better VA benefits? Do you tell your representatives that the quality of schools in the communities are bases are very important to military families and that they should do something about education in their state? Do you tell your representatives that a new bomber program is great, but military families could really use better pay? Do you tell your representatives that military families could really use better psychiatric care for returning soldiers and that we don't have enough psych counselors for these people? Do you tell your representatives that military families that are leaving the military really need more help transitioning to a civilian job market?

Same here. I grew up in an AF town, am the child of a Vietnam-era veteran, and volunteer heavily with service-related organizations, and no, it's just weird and intrusive any other time. If you did that in my hometown, you'd never get anything else done!

I'm sure the people who do it at the grocery store are doing it in part to make themselves feel more virtuous when they don't do shit for veterans, active duty, and their families at other times.