Fraternity Reputations

[Dylo]

I'd like to start by saying I have been lurking here for several months now, and all the stories and advice on here really help me with preparing for rush and familiarizing me with what Greek life is all about.

About/Backstory: I am a freshman at my University, and before orientation was not that interested in rushing. None of my family has been greek, my friends were never interested, and it just didn't seem like something I would be into. However after talking to the different greek organizations I became really interested and looked into it more.
I moved into my dorm a two and a half weeks ago, and have been in classes for two weeks now. In these weeks I have attended all of the pre-rush events, went to different fraternity and sorority parties and have really gotten to know a lot of guys before rush. I constantly talk to upperclassman of what they think about the different fraternities and am trying to familiarize myself with everything. Now I have my heart set on rushing and eventually pledging to a fraternity.

Now at my school a lot of the fraternities that I am interested in have developed bad reputations in different ways. For example, one of them has had a history of date rape, and have been known to use roofies. Another is known to be the 'gay' fraternity, are said to be 'try hards', and get a really bad rap for it. Even when I was in the car with one of the DDs on the way to a party, we'd pass students who would yell out derogatory statements and slurs toward his fraternity.

While I realize every fraternity will have it's haters, my main question is how much do I isolate myself socially by joining specific fraternities with a bad reputations? While I don't care if someone calls me a queer and such, I don't want to be known as someone who date rapes and roofies. Also, friends that I have met are rushing different fraternities than I like. How much will one fraternity socialize with another?

I guess my main fear is that by joining a fraternity is that I will be cut off from different social groups and people. Does this happen?




Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this and respond. I'd also like to apologize if this was unclear in any way, I'd be happy to clarify anything you did not understand or answer any question that would be of use.

[adpiucf]

I was not in a fraternity, but I was in a sorority. Here's my advice: Don't join an organization frequented by criminals.

You should look for an organization where you have shared values with the members. I think you'll probably get a vibe if the group overwhelmingly does not match your values. You can also get involved with a variety of campus activities to help yourself become more well-rounded and expand your social circle. As an added bonus, if you are a Greek man involved on campus, you have the ability to affect the reputation of your chapter in a positive way. Good luck.

[pshsx1]

If you're nervous about being associated with a bad reputation, didn't you just answer your question?

Why would you want to associate yourself with something bad?

Now, things do look different on the inside, though, so some things come with a grain of salt. Nonetheless, if these are rumors that you're hearing and are concerned about, you could either ask one of the brothers that you trust about the rumors or just not affiliate with those organizations.

Also, because Greek organizations are their own little realm, you are bound to cut yourself off from some things. Being Greek is consuming. BUT, you will open up yourself to many more opportunities and people that you never thought you'd experience.

So there's my advice. Take it how you desire.

Finally, as a bit of a side note, if you're really that concerned about joining the "gay fraternity" and your reputation with that, you have a bit more that you need to work through.

[Dylo]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

I was not in a fraternity, but I was in a sorority. Here's my advice: Don't join an organization frequented by criminals.

You should look for an organization where you have shared values with the members. I think you'll probably get a vibe if the group overwhelmingly does not match your values. You can also get involved with a variety of campus activities to help yourself become more well-rounded and expand your social circle. As an added bonus, if you are a Greek man involved on campus, you have the ability to affect the reputation of your chapter in a positive way. Good luck.

Thanks for the advice I am really taking it into consideration. The fraternity that is/was involved with the date raping I have set aside and know I am not pursuing them. I already am apart of a couple different organizations and applied for one other.

I guess my main concern is I don't want to alienate myself from the friends I already have by joining a fraternity that is different then theirs.

Originally Posted by pshsx1

If you're nervous about being associated with a bad reputation, didn't you just answer your question?

Why would you want to associate yourself with something bad?

Now, things do look different on the inside, though, so some things come with a grain of salt. Nonetheless, if these are rumors that you're hearing and are concerned about, you could either ask one of the brothers that you trust about the rumors or just not affiliate with those organizations.

Also, because Greek organizations are their own little realm, you are bound to cut yourself off from some things. Being Greek is consuming. BUT, you will open up yourself to many more opportunities and people that you never thought you'd experience.

So there's my advice. Take it how you desire.

Finally, as a bit of a side note, if you're really that concerned about joining the "gay fraternity" and your reputation with that, you have a bit more that you need to work through.

And every fraternity has things that they are known for, it is just generally the bad ones that stick. While I have thrown aside the horrible ones, there are still the ones left that have reputations they can't seem to outlive certain stereotypes (being gay, pot-heads, socially ignorant, ect). I never said my concern was joining a fraternity with one of these stereotypes, my questions was what are other peoples experience with how this cuts you off from others.
While I respect what you are saying, don't assume my intentions from what I have typed, just ask a follow up question next time.

[LaneSig]

If they are your friends, whichever fraternity you choose to join shouldn't effect (or affect- I can never remember which one) their opinion of you.

I was the victim of this when I joined my fraternity. Several friends who went to church with me began to look at me in a negative light for going Greek. I decided that they could believe what they wanted to believe. I knew who I was.

[excelblue]

How do you decide who you become friends with so that you don't hang out with the wrong crowd? Take that heuristic and apply it to deciding whether or not you'd like to join a certain fraternity.

Brotherhood is a deep bond of friendship. If you can't see yourself possibly making that bond with a certain chapter, they're probably not the right one for you. If you do end up developing a great bond, the friends you alienate are not that great of friends to begin with.

[Kevin]

Dylo, please consider what you personally observe versus what others tell you. On a small campus, rush is war. Everyone is scrambling for limited resources (you) and some houses will stop at nothing to win. That includes spreading rumors, general trash-talking, etc.

If they house has a widespread reputation for date rape, that's one thing. You probably don't want to be an accessory to a felony. Do consider, however, that your information about that house might not be completely accurate.

That said, as to the individual yelling derogatory remarks at other fraternity members, that shows a huge lack of self-confidence--kind of pathetic. With that, the gay fraternity and the try hards, you could very well be talking about my alma mater.

Don't judge a house by the stupidity of one member, take the whole thing in, take your time during recruitment to see which organization's values align most with yours and pull the trigger. Good luck.