What makes a PNM "pop"?

[Yoquierotacobel]

What makes a PNM stand out, during recruitment?

Because after talking to some of the actives, I can list qualities that made them memorable to me. I like to draw out a little personal info to help me remember. For instance, one active I spoke to, I remember her because she was quirky and bubbly. It was intimidating speaking to her, but she's one of those girls who probably leaves an impression with ANYONE who meets her.

At one recruitment event, I ended up talking to a group of sorority sisters and we bonded over a music artist and someone who is coming to our town for concert and then we started talking about Cirque and random stuff.

What should conversation during recruitment entail, do you think? Should it be solely a "Hi, my name is Crayola Motorola & i'm from Pluto, where are you from?" or can it kind of swerve into random things like your favorite music artists & the latest concert you went to?



But honestly, maybe it's my self esteem getting to me, but I feel inadequate when I notice other pnms and they seem so confident and successful.

I totally understand y'all do not know me and can't tell me exactly what to do or if I'm doing something wrong, but as far as conversation goes, what should it cover during recruitment? What makes a person memorable to you?

sorry for any bad grammar or punctuation. I apologize.

[victoriana]

To me, what makes a PNM pop is how genuine she is. We can tell if you're spewing out some bull about values or philanthropy. Only say things that are true and that you mean. If you haven't done any volunteering, be honest. Say something like "I didn't get the chance to do much volunteering in high school, but I can't wait for all the new opportunities I'll get from a sorority." Of course you can take the conversation in a direction of personal interests, but make sure they are appropriate. Another thing that makes a PNM pop is good questions. Be prepared, read GC, come up with some interesting/good/out of the ordinary questions about sorority.

[IndianaSigKap]

I don't think that there is any ONE thing which makes a PNM stand out. Sometimes it's a combination of things, sometimes it's just a quality she possesses. I usually noticed a PNM when she looked like she was having a good time, smiling and genuinely engaged in the conversation. Sometimes I noticed a PNM who had self confidence, or a quiet calm about her, or elegance, or a quirkiness. It varied, PNM to PNM. My best advice to you is to Keep Calm and Carry On. :-) Be the best version of yourself you know how to be. Let the real you shine and the chapters will notice. It only takes one chapter to realize how special you are, and that's the chapter meant for you.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I feel like PNM's popped when we talked about something other than "what's your major, what dorm are you living in, etc." I always tried to ask more interesting questions, but sometime they go nowhere:

"What did you do over the summer?"
"oh, I worked a lot"

meh

vs.

"What did you do this summer?"
"Oh, I mostly worked, but I did get a chance to go to Lollapalooza".

The second is going to lead to a WAY more interesting conversation.

[33girl]

Sometimes I think that some PNMs are TOO afraid of saying the wrong thing. Take DBB's PNM in the post above. Some girls would be like "oh, what if she hates Lolla-type music...or thinks music festivals are for dirty hippies...OMG, she'll be sure to cut me." So they stick with a boring answer and get rated low because they're so unmemorable.

Chapters/women who know how to rush, if they get hooked up with a PNM that is not their style...will find a sister who IS. "Oh, my gosh, Susan went to Lollapalooza too! Greg Dulli looked right at her and she almost passed out! I have to introduce you two!"

If someone (a sister or a fellow PNM) leads the conversation into potentially dicey territory, take it out. For example, if someone is talking about President Obama, bring it around to how freaking adorable their dog is and your family also is debating which kind of dog to get.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If someone (a sister or a fellow PNM) leads the conversation into potentially dicey territory, take it out. For example, if someone is talking about President Obama, bring it around to how freaking adorable their dog is and your family also is debating which kind of dog to get.

That's actually pretty brilliant, 33! Have you ever considered a career change to public relations???

[33girl]

I deal with crazy Squill peeps all the time. That's PR enough.

[DubaiSis]

Make sure you get plenty of sleep and are fully hydrated. If your brain is functioning correctly, you will be quicker on the uptake for changes of conversation, that joke comes out actually funny, etc. And speaking of plenty of sleep, especially if your parties are in the evening, give that last party a break. You can easily walk away and say they were awkward, the girl didn't seem interested in me, etc. Remember that for as exhausting as this process is for you, about 1/2 the work is done when the parties are over for the sorority members. If you can pick up the slack at those late parties, you will be seen as a gift from heaven.

[AOIIalum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If someone (a sister or a fellow PNM) leads the conversation into potentially dicey territory, take it out. For example, if someone is talking about President Obama, bring it around to how freaking adorable their dog is and your family also is debating which kind of dog to get.

I know KR commented on this, but I have to chime in on how fantastic this is. There's ALWAYS a way to turn a conversation around.

[LionTamer]

The problem is that if the PNM starts talking about Romney, switching the subject to the family dog is only going to exacerbate things. (oh, Sheila, honey, I just could not resist)

Seriously, though -- as to what makes a PNM "pop" - we had a short, sort of plump, kind of average-looking girl with really bad highlighting come through rush my senior year. AND she was funny, wildly cheerful, and (I kid you not) wearing a Mickey Mouse watch where Mickey's head bobbed up and down every second. EVERYONE commented on that watch.

Every single girl in the sorority remembered her. And she ended up being my little sister. Do not underestimate the power of a GREAT smile, a cheerful personality and an off-beat accessory.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by LionTamer

Do not underestimate the power of a GREAT smile, a cheerful personality and an off-beat accessory.

Bingo.

I only recruited one year and I hated it. The women who stood out to me were the ones who didn't just depend on me to make conversation (I was panicing just as much as they were!) and were able to laugh. It showed they had their own personality, were confident and was a person I could see hanging out with on a regular basis. Ask questions and be able to laugh if it is appropriate.

[SigKapSweetie]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Remember that for as exhausting as this process is for you, about 1/2 the work is done when the parties are over for the sorority members. If you can pick up the slack at those late parties, you will be seen as a gift from heaven.

THIS. At many schools, the women in the sororities were up hours before you, setting up for the party, and will be up hours after you've gone to bed, taking down these decorations and setting up for tomorrow as well as doing all of the other behind-the-scenes things that make recruitment work. They're tired too!

[Yoquierotacobel]

I'm definitely going to take these tips and try to include them in my daily life, so they become a habit.

I've always read posts on here about expanding your answer, rather than giving "yes" or "no" responses. I've tried incorporating that into my daily life for the past....maybe, almost year or so?

Another question, over the past year or so I've improved greatly on my conversation skills, but there's one thing that bothers me. I catch myself doing it and everytime I do, it's something different.
When I'm standing talking to someone, I fidget. Nothing major, not with my hair or bracelets, but I guess with my clothes or I put my hands on my stomach area.

What should I do about that? I don't want to stand there like a moron with my hands glued to my sides heehee

[SigKapSweetie]

Originally Posted by Yoquierotacobel

When I'm standing talking to someone, I fidget. Nothing major, not with my hair or bracelets, but I guess with my clothes or I put my hands on my stomach area.

What should I do about that? I don't want to stand there like a moron with my hands glued to my sides heehee

I do the same thing, especially when I'm bored or uncomfortable; I'd make a terrible poker player. I like to wear rings and then use my thumb to play with the palm side of the band, because it's hard for anyone to tell I'm doing it. If they hand you a glass of water, that will give you something to hold, and during the philanthropy round (if you have one) the craft will likely keep your hands occupied. This is a good habit to break with the help of a friend who's willing to point it out whenever you're doing it. It can be hard to notice on your own!

[DubaiSis]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I mean, if you look like you have ADD or tourettes or something then you should probably work on it, but if you talk with your hands or touch your hair while you talk or whatever, I wouldn't worry about it. If you work too hard at eliminating these quirks, you might just end up looking nervous or overly intense. But putting your hands in your lap will resolve quite a bit of it.