Junior PNM in need of recruitment advice

[Future_Sister]

Hi everyone! I'm a rising junior, and I'm going to be going through informal recruitment this fall. Also, I will be completing a 5th year, so I'll be able to be an active collegian for 2.5 years, not just a year and a half. My school has 4 NPC houses, and I was offered a bid by one (though never signed anything binding me to that house, so I'm completely free to go through informal this fall!) but I know it is not where I belong.

I was hoping for some advice as to what kind of things I can ask the actives about during recruitment to show my genuine interest in their houses & to get to know them better, since I've heard the general stuff about their houses & philanthropies so many times, and I'm at the point where I want to know the girls as individuals, not just about the organization. Also, when the girls ask my year, should I mention that I will be doing a 5th year, so they are aware that I've got plenty of time to be an active sister before I graduate?

Thanks so much in advance!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Future_Sister

Hi everyone! I'm a rising junior, and I'm going to be going through informal recruitment this fall. I transferred to my school last year, and couldn't go through recruitment until spring, which is why I'm going through as a Junior, for those who are curious. Also, I will be completing a 5th year, so I'll be able to be an active collegian for 2.5 years, not just a year and a half I went to some COB events last fall just to get to know the houses better before formal recruitment in the spring. My school has 4 NPC houses, and I was offered a bid by one (though never signed anything binding me to that house, so I'm completely free to go through informal this fall!) but I know it is not where I belong. I'm really interested in two houses, one of which I was invited to the pref night for in the FALL last year, though not in the spring.

I was hoping for some advice as to what kind of things I can ask the actives about during recruitment to show my genuine interest in their houses & to get to know them better, since I've heard the general stuff about their houses & philanthropies so many times, and I'm at the point where I want to know the girls as individuals, not just about the organization. Also, when the girls ask my year, should I mention that I will be doing a 5th year, so they are aware that I've got plenty of time to be an active sister before I graduate?

Thanks so much in advance!

lane swerve/

What does your username mean? Are you expecting a sibling?

/lane swerve

[33girl]

OK, let me get this straight:

1. Your school has four sororities (i.e. the Greek system is not so humungously large that you may not have gotten a good look at some chapters or gotten lost in the shuffle).

2. You went to COB events in Fall 2011, thereby putting yourself in front of and getting to know the sororities - i.e. you did not go into spring recruitment a total blank slate they knew nothing about. When you walked into their parties in Spring 2012, they knew who you were.

2a. You were invited to a pref night (I assume you mean an invite-only party) at one of these sororities, and did not receive a bid.

3. You went through formal recruitment in Spring 2012, received a bid from a different sorority, and declined it. The sorority who had invited you to their pref night during Fall 2011 COB did not offer you a bid. In fact, they did not even invite you to Spring 2012 preference night.

Unless in the past semester you have gotten to be VERY close friends with a VERY large number of girls from one of the sororities and/or become VERY visible on campus for VERY positive reasons...I'm going to say that your Greek ship has sailed. (Without you on it.)

[AOII Angel]

How were you offered a bid through formal recruitment in the spring but didn't sign anything and aren't bound for a year? Formal recruitment doesn't usually work that way. You say that you want one of two chapters on campus. What was wrong with the one that offered you a bid (a bid in hand is worth two in the bush one might say). These other two chapters turned down the opportunity to offer you a bid during formal recruitment. What have you done to improve your chances or make you more attractive to them? Why would they suddenly look twice at you now that you will be even older?! Sometimes, you have to be realistic when assessing your options. Are you likely to join the group you want? Are you their ideal candidate? Would you rather be non-Greek than a member of one of the other sororities? Think things through before fall informal.

[Future_Sister]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

How were you offered a bid through formal recruitment in the spring but didn't sign anything and aren't bound for a year? Formal recruitment doesn't usually work that way. You say that you want one of two chapters on campus. What was wrong with the one that offered you a bid (a bid in hand is worth two in the bush one might say). These other two chapters turned down the opportunity to offer you a bid during formal recruitment. What have you done to improve your chances or make you more attractive to them? Why would they suddenly look twice at you now that you will be even older?! Sometimes, you have to be realistic when assessing your options. Are you likely to join the group you want? Are you their ideal candidate? Would you rather be non-Greek than a member of one of the other sororities? Think things through before fall informal.

I've become more involved on campus, raised my GPA, and lost weight. One of the houses is the one everyone wants, so its of course more competitive, and there was always way more PNMS around than actives, making it very hard to actually get to an actual conversation in. As for the other one, well I'm not sure what happened in spring recruitment though they seemed to be very interested in the fall, but I couldn't get a bid in the fall because of school policy. And Why would I join a house...just to be in a house? That would be joining for the wrong reasons, and would be unfair to both myself and the other sisters. I do not feel 'at home' with them, nor do I feel that their sorority is the place for me, I've considered it immensely.

[Future_Sister]

Originally Posted by 33girl

OK, let me get this straight:

1. Your school has four sororities (i.e. the Greek system is not so humungously large that you may not have gotten a good look at some chapters or gotten lost in the shuffle).

2. You went to COB events in Fall 2011, thereby putting yourself in front of and getting to know the sororities - i.e. you did not go into spring recruitment a total blank slate they knew nothing about. When you walked into their parties in Spring 2012, they knew who you were.

2a. You were invited to a pref night (I assume you mean an invite-only party) at one of these sororities, and did not receive a bid.

3. You went through formal recruitment in Spring 2012, received a bid from a different sorority, and declined it. The sorority who had invited you to their pref night during Fall 2011 COB did not offer you a bid. In fact, they did not even invite you to Spring 2012 preference night.

Unless in the past semester you have gotten to be VERY close friends with a VERY large number of girls from one of the sororities and/or become VERY visible on campus for VERY positive reasons...I'm going to say that your Greek ship has sailed. (Without you on it.)

You got it all correct. You don't have any other suggestions other than becoming closer with the girls or becoming more well known? I've made improvements and become closer with them and I'd say more well known (nothing bad at all, either)... so I may have a shot. Not many girls go through informal at my school so it really help me to go through again this fall... I just wanted some advice on this fall... not so much my chances. I'm hopeful, but not unrealistic/naive.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Future_Sister

. As for the other one, well I'm not sure what happened in spring recruitment though they seemed to be very interested in the fall, but I couldn't get a bid in the fall because of school policy.

There is no "school policy" that prevents this, unless there is a membership cap and they had met or were over it.

[Future_Sister]

Originally Posted by 33girl

There is no "school policy" that prevents this, unless there is a membership cap and they had met or were over it.

our school, and many other in my area, don't let us go through recruitment until we have 12 credits and a 2.5 gpa.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

How were you offered a bid through formal recruitment in the spring but didn't sign anything and aren't bound for a year? Formal recruitment doesn't usually work that way.

I'm guessing she did not list them on her pref card and they offered her an open bid when they did not meet quota and/or total.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Future_Sister

our school, and many other in my area, don't let us go through recruitment until we have 12 credits and a 2.5 gpa.

Sorry, I got my seasons reversed or else didn't see the phrase "in the fall."

Although you should have been able to receive a bid if 12 of your credits transferred and you had the necessary GPA.

[AOII Angel]

Yeah, doesn't everyone want to be in the most popular group, because that's what sisterhood is all about. Ummmhmmm...cuz you got to spend so much time talking to them and getting to know them. The number of women going through informal is immaterial. What matters is the number of spots open in each group, which is determined by chapter total. If chapter total is 60 and the chapter you want has 59 members, they can only offer 1 bid. That means you have to beat out every other girl going through...all the roommates of recently initiated members, BFFs that go out with sisters every Friday night, etc. you've had your little mind closed from the beginning, so don't be upset that they won't change their minds either.

[Future_Sister]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Sorry, I got my seasons reversed or else didn't see the phrase "in the fall."

Although you should have been able to receive a bid if 12 of your credits transferred and you had the necessary GPA.

It's okay! And yeah, I tried to argue them on that, but they said they've never let a girl go through fall based on credits/a GPA from another school before and weren't making an exception for me But now there's nothing keeping my back from going through this fall (well, thats what I thought but other replies seem to beg to differ )

[Future_Sister]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Yeah, doesn't everyone want to be in the most popular group, because that's what sisterhood is all about. Ummmhmmm...cuz you got to spend so much time talking to them and getting to know them. The number of women going through informal is immaterial. What matters is the number of spots open in each group, which is determined by chapter total. If chapter total is 60 and the chapter you want has 59 members, they can only offer 1 bid. That means you have to beat out every other girl going through...all the roommates of recently initiated members, BFFs that go out with sisters every Friday night, etc. you've had your little mind closed from the beginning, so don't be upset that they won't change their minds either.

I'm sorry, but when did I say that was why I wanted to be in that house? I know girls in there, and I know what that sorority stands for, thank you very much. I love the girls in that house so please do not be unnecessarily judgmental. Our campus has two houses EVERYONE goes in saying they want, I don't want the other one for my own reasons. I dont just look at Greek life like many other outsiders do, I actually understand it. And actually, the number going through IS imporant, when there's so many girls there at a time that theres 3 PNMS per active, thats kind of intense. I am not and was never closed minded. I ruled out ONE house, please stop the rudeness because this is entirely uncalled for.

[33girl]

I mean, go through if you want, but I wouldn't be overly optimistic unless you are CLOSE friends with many people in one of what I'll call the two "remaining" sororities (let's call them A and B). You have rejected an offer of membership from Sorority C, and Sorority D, while they invited you to pref when you were ineligible, didn't feel the need to invite you back the next spring. As a member of a group who did a LOT of COB, when you don't invite people back in formal rush after they've been to your COB parties, well, that's just not good at all.

And since this is COB, every sorority will be taking a different amount of members. There is no quota. If A and B are the two most popular groups, they will have the smallest amount of spots.

I'm sorry this is so doom and gloom, but it is what it is. It would be different if you were at a large school with 10+ sororities.

[Future_Sister]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I mean, go through if you want, but I wouldn't be overly optimistic unless you are CLOSE friends with many people in one of what I'll call the two "remaining" sororities (let's call them A and B). You have rejected an offer of membership from Sorority C, and Sorority D, while they invited you to pref when you were ineligible, didn't feel the need to invite you back the next spring. As a member of a group who did a LOT of COB, when you don't invite people back in formal rush after they've been to your COB parties, well, that's just not good at all.

And since this is COB, every sorority will be taking a different amount of members. There is no quota. If A and B are the two most popular groups, they will have the smallest amount of spots.

I'm sorry this is so doom and gloom, but it is what it is. It would be different if you were at a large school with 10+ sororities.

Thanks for the input on the house that pref'd but then didn't invite me back, that was something I needed to know!