separated

RHOyal-Silence · #1 12-06-2001, 11:24 PM

ok ladies, be honest.

have u ever met a man who was separated and wanted to get with u.

this guy was a great guy, smart, handsome, sweet, had manners.
but he had a handicap. he was seperated with 2 kids.

now i told him that i could not chill w/him because of the fact that to me he was still married. he acted as if i was speaking a foreign language. he just could not comprehend where i was coming from.
he really wanted to get to know me but i kind of shut him out.

now am being naive? does being seperated truly mean u are out of the marriage for good? i don't want to sound stupid but maybe i am looking at this all wrong.

SoTrue1920 · #2 12-07-2001, 01:39 PM

Sisterfriend,

Personally, I wouldn't get involved with someone who was only separated. Not only could it put you in the middle of a very messy situation (especially since he has children), but you stand the chance of being his "rebound girlfriend" and nothing else.

This isn't a judgement call against women who are involved with separated men, it's just what I would do in that situation.

SeriousSigma22 · #3 12-07-2001, 09:58 PM

Sorors and Friends,

Those are only the brothas who are attracted to me! I mean really can't a sista get a break! These fellas are always attached to some other sista! Why me! And the sad thing is that they are always so d@$# fine!

Serioussigma22

BlueReign · #4 12-08-2001, 12:02 PM

Soror, I would advise you not to. I just ended a 2 year relationship with a separated man. The wife and children lived in another state far away from here so they really were not an interference in our relationship. He even got a divorce this year but now I don't want to be bothered. The thing is, they aren't really, truly "yours" and can't be if they are legally bound to someone else. I learned a lot about myself and reality so you can e-mail me and we can chat if you like.

Oh Soror Serious: I feel you on that one. As soon as they give me a "pager number" or something other than a home phone number I hand it right back to them.

Only the truly single should apply.

SeriousSigma22 · #5 12-08-2001, 07:03 PM

Soror BlueReign,

Don't worry I haven't fallen for one of them yet! I just wish they would stay away from a single sista! You know what I mean? Why do they have to come bother us?

Serioussigma22

EntycinglyBleu · #6 12-09-2001, 12:43 PM

My mother was in a situation similar to this one, several months ago. This man told her he was seperated, half-way through his divorce the whole nine yards. The family fell head over heels for this man, then out of nowhere. He went back home. Back to his wife. He wasn't seperated and the divorce, yeah right was not even started! He was just on a break from his wife and wanted to have fun.. My mother was devastated and so was the rest of the family.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

Please my sisters be careful with those married men. They may be flattering and delicious to taste, but on the inside they are hollow and bitter...Yuck

SeriousSigma22 · #7 12-10-2001, 09:37 PM

EntycinglyBleu,

I'm praying for your mother! I tell you that these married brothas should be ashamed of themselves. What a horrible thing to do to another human being!

Keep the faith!

Serioussigma22

EntycinglyBleu · #8 12-11-2001, 08:25 PM

Thank you for your prayers, but not to put my mother on blast on this board, but she will not receive her blessings until she falls in love with the true man-The Lord up above. She doesn't attend Church like she should and her relationship with God is so far from reach. However, I do apprecitate your prayers once again SeriousSigma22