SMU fall continuing open bidding for upper classwomen

[communitygal]

Does anybody know if this actually happens at SMU? The website indicates it does but.....what are the odds as a sophmore?

[violetpretty]

Continuous open bidding may occur at any school where one or more NPC chapters are under total, and it can happen in the spring or fall. There might be chapters under total, but they may or may not choose not to participate, or they may quietly give bids to women they already know, instead of advertising that they are COBing and holding open house recruitment parties.

Fall COB as a sophomore shouldn't put you at a disadvantage because of your class standing, because formal recruitment is in the spring. I should note that Maryland does FR in the spring as well, but first semester freshmen ARE permitted to join if they have at least 12 college credits----other schools with spring FR do not allow first semester freshmen to join regardless of how many credits. Check with the Greek Life Office or website if you could be competing with freshmen. My guess is no, because you asked about "COB for upperclass women".

No one knows what your odds are. Your odds will be 0% if there are no chapters participating. It all depends on how many chapters are participating, how many spots are available, whether you know any sisters in participating chapters, conversations at recruitment parties, GPA, activities, self-presentation, recs, etc. There is no mathematical formula to calculate your odds, but there are ways to give yourself every advantage.

Did you go through FR?

[communitygal]

Yes she did; I'm mom and promise not helicopter- just concerned and curious. The fall semester and FR was quite a positive experience for her- up until preference day.

She had lots of positive reinforcement from one particular chapter throughout the fall semester, and she really liked the girls- they certainly semed to like her since she was invited to multiple informal small meetings. In our discussions she said she planned to keep an open mind throughout the process. She believed it all would work out the way it should- but she consistently liked the girls from one particular chapter best. As FR progressed, she felt she could be happy in all the chapters but one. She had the maximum invites back every day, and it always included her favorites from the top down and that one least favorite. We were all shocked on Preference day when she was cut from all but the only one she really did not want. She couldn't even understand why they had chosen her. She decided not to continue but we are stupified. She was shocked and disappointed, shock and awe comes to mind, but not completely crushed. She says a few girls left the school permanantly, after not getting into the chapter of their choice.

Apparently it is quite competitive at SMU. When I say I am not a helicopter mom, I mean it, (even though I am on this site). When she got back to school in January for rush, she called to inform me the place was swarming with mothers! I wondered for a split second if maybe I goofed and was supposed to be there, doing what- I don't know, and the thought of leaving my business for a week, flying to Dallas, checking into a hotel and waiting around while my daughter was visiting houses seemed pretty pointless. When I asked if she thought I should be there she emphatically said no. She was shocked that mothers would actually fly in.(Maybe she is not sorority material after all, lol).

In any event, she is thinking about whether to try again next year, but at SMU I understand there are something like 45 spots per chapter for freshmen and 5 for upperclassmen and transfers can take some of the 5 spots. I saw this note about COB on the SMU website, so I thought I'd ask here, since our experience with the powers that be at SMU is that we think we get lots of bad information. For instance at the recruitment meeting during parents weekend they said do not--absolutely do not get recs. Yet everyone else we talked with from all walks of life said we were crazy to listen to that advice. She got recs, but one per chapter, not the 2-3 the masses advised her to get. It was suggested that the reason for the big rejection is that her first semester grades, while over the minimun to rush, were substantially lower than the high school grades that were on her applications. But I think people are just trying to make her feel better. So, in conclusion...anyone have any real idea of what goes on there??

[als463]

Originally Posted by communitygal

Yes she did; I'm mom and promise not helicopter- just concerned and curious. The fall semester and FR was quite a positive experience for her- up until preference day.

She had lots of positive reinforcement from one particular chapter throughout the fall semester, and she really liked the girls- they certainly semed to like her since she was invited to multiple informal small meetings. In our discussions she said she planned to keep an open mind throughout the process. She believed it all would work out the way it should- but she consistently liked the girls from one particular chapter best. As FR progressed, she felt she could be happy in all the chapters but one. She had the maximum invites back every day, and it always included her favorites from the top down and that one least favorite. We were all shocked on Preference day when she was cut from all but the only one she really did not want. She couldn't even understand why they had chosen her. She decided not to continue but we are stupified. She was shocked and disappointed, shock and awe comes to mind, but not completely crushed. She says a few girls left the school permanantly, after not getting into the chapter of their choice.

Apparently it is quite competitive at SMU. When I say I am not a helicopter mom, I mean it, (even though I am on this site). When she got back to school in January for rush, she called to inform me the place was swarming with mothers! I wondered for a split second if maybe I goofed and was supposed to be there, doing what- I don't know, and the thought of leaving my business for a week, flying to Dallas, checking into a hotel and waiting around while my daughter was visiting houses seemed pretty pointless. When I asked if she thought I should be there she emphatically said no. She was shocked that mothers would actually fly in.(Maybe she is not sorority material after all, lol).

In any event, she is thinking about whether to try again next year, but at SMU I understand there are something like 45 spots per chapter for freshmen and 5 for upperclassmen and transfers can take some of the 5 spots. I saw this note about COB on the SMU website, so I thought I'd ask here, since our experience with the powers that be at SMU is that we think we get lots of bad information. For instance at the recruitment meeting during parents weekend they said do not--absolutely do not get recs. Yet everyone else we talked with from all walks of life said we were crazy to listen to that advice. She got recs, but one per chapter, not the 2-3 the masses advised her to get. It was suggested that the reason for the big rejection is that her first semester grades, while over the minimun to rush, were substantially lower than the high school grades that were on her applications. But I think people are just trying to make her feel better. So, in conclusion...anyone have any real idea of what goes on there??

So, wait...I am confused. Did she get offered a bid (after signing a pref card) and then turn the sorority that offered her that bid down? I am not going to apologize for saying this so, be prepared. SMU is a very competitive university for recruitment and no my sorority is not there (sadly) but, if you are offered a bid at a school that is as competitive as SMU and turn it down--I do NOT feel bad for you (or your daughter) if she does not get a sorority her next time around.

Coming on here and asking questions for special snowflake when she is old enough to be able to set up an account herself DOES in fact make you look like a helicopter mom. Also, continuously trying to remind us once or twice in the matter of one or two posts that you are NOT something means you are one. "I'm not a .....but" kind of statement makes you look like you are a....regardless of whether or not you want to acknowledge it.

[LXA SE285]

So, wait...I am confused. Did she get offered a bid (after signing a pref card) and then turn the sorority that offered her that bid down?

The way I read it was that she dropped out before bid day because she didn't like the group she had left.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by communitygal

Yes she did; I'm mom and promise not helicopter- just concerned and curious. The fall semester and FR was quite a positive experience for her- up until preference day.

She had lots of positive reinforcement from one particular chapter throughout the fall semester, and she really liked the girls- they certainly semed to like her since she was invited to multiple informal small meetings. In our discussions she said she planned to keep an open mind throughout the process. She believed it all would work out the way it should- but she consistently liked the girls from one particular chapter best. As FR progressed, she felt she could be happy in all the chapters but one. She had the maximum invites back every day, and it always included her favorites from the top down and that one least favorite. We were all shocked on Preference day when she was cut from all but the only one she really did not want. She couldn't even understand why they had chosen her. She decided not to continue but we are stupified. She was shocked and disappointed, shock and awe comes to mind, but not completely crushed. She says a few girls left the school permanantly, after not getting into the chapter of their choice.

Apparently it is quite competitive at SMU. When I say I am not a helicopter mom, I mean it, (even though I am on this site). When she got back to school in January for rush, she called to inform me the place was swarming with mothers! I wondered for a split second if maybe I goofed and was supposed to be there, doing what- I don't know, and the thought of leaving my business for a week, flying to Dallas, checking into a hotel and waiting around while my daughter was visiting houses seemed pretty pointless. When I asked if she thought I should be there she emphatically said no. She was shocked that mothers would actually fly in.(Maybe she is not sorority material after all, lol).

In any event, she is thinking about whether to try again next year, but at SMU I understand there are something like 45 spots per chapter for freshmen and 5 for upperclassmen and transfers can take some of the 5 spots. I saw this note about COB on the SMU website, so I thought I'd ask here, since our experience with the powers that be at SMU is that we think we get lots of bad information. For instance at the recruitment meeting during parents weekend they said do not--absolutely do not get recs. Yet everyone else we talked with from all walks of life said we were crazy to listen to that advice. She got recs, but one per chapter, not the 2-3 the masses advised her to get. It was suggested that the reason for the big rejection is that her first semester grades, while over the minimun to rush, were substantially lower than the high school grades that were on her applications. But I think people are just trying to make her feel better. So, in conclusion...anyone have any real idea of what goes on there??

The chapter doing COB is most likely the chapter she decided she's too good for during formal. Frankly, at this point that may be her only chance of being Greek at SMU.

[als463]

Originally Posted by LXA SE285

The way I read it was that she dropped out before bid day because she didn't like the group she had left.

Even so, special snowflake was "too good" for the "undesirable" chapter--you know the ONLY ONE she just couldn't see herself in. Nope! No pity party from me.

[violetpretty]

My interpretation is that SS did not sign a MRABA. Either she went to pref and didn't sign the MRABA or didn't even go to the pref party. If SMU has a guaranteed matching policy, SS had a bid if she wanted one.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by communitygal

she was invited to multiple informal small meetings.

Meetings?? Explain please.

People with knowledge of SMU, is this allowed?

[communitygal]

Wow, I ask for advice and get attacked by mean girls! I never said she was "too good" for any chapter. She visited 8, loved 7 and was uncomfortable with 1. That particular chapter is a well regarded and popular, just a very bad fit. I don't appreciate the "special snowflake" comments.

als463,I never asked you to "feel bad"; you don't know that my daughter is not on this board and you should try to be nice and live up to your quotes "May not act of ours bring shame..."
"To lend to those less fortunate a helping hand..." You should be ashamed of yourself!
I'm done here, it is not helpful. Enjoy your bullyfest.