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  #1  
Old 02-07-2002, 11:12 AM
Marcellac85 Marcellac85 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Charleston, West Virginia
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Questions...

Hello to everyone at Greekchat, I hope that you all are doing well.


The reason why I am writing is because there have been some things on my mind and I really would like honest feedback.

A few years ago I had a genuine desire to become a member of your sorority. I conversed with different members of that chapter and was told to do my research. I attended some of the chapter's events and tried to get to know them. However as time passed after I made my desires known the vibe between I and them changed. Whenever I would call anyone they were always either "too busy", or "did not have time to talk". On several occasions I would be at public events and I would casually say "hello" -I would then be ingnored. But when other young ladies would speak, the members would respond and actually hold conversations with them. After a while of experiencing that I felt that they did not want to be bothered with me so I left them alone. As time passed a close friend called and encouraged me to go with her to a function that the chapter was hosting. I went and afterwards I approached a member and asked "May I call her"? She then responded by saying "Are you sure you want to do that"? I said "Yes", she then said "You're acting like you don't want to be here". I told her that "I did" and she told me to call her. I called continuously but she never would talk to me. That made me feel bad because all I ever got was a"Song and Dance".

I honestly was not ovebearing because I realized that you all do have lives outside of your sorority. Word got back to me from another associate that some of the members were upset because they felt that I did not "Want membership bad enough". Because I stopped calling and trying to get to know them. That turned me off because what does any of that have to do with "Service to Mankind"? It seemed to me that it was nothing but a "big game" to these women. I have read the User's guide and searched other posts- but I unfortunately have not found anything that dealt with my concerns. Whenever I would try to talk to some of the members concerning what I was dealing with- I was always "Shot down". I understand that your sorority has numerous members and you all are not "hurting" for anyone. I recognize that and I pray my post is received with all humility. But I do not understand why these women are so upset now that I don't come around anymore, because when I showed an interest they "did not have time" for me. Any feedback that the Moderators and/or members may have would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
Marcellac
  #2  
Old 02-07-2002, 01:59 PM
prayerfull prayerfull is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Monterey, CA
Posts: 649
Marcellac85 - welcome to AKA Ave. on GreekChat. I had to think about your post for a little while because my first instinct was not to even respond at all. Your situation is nothing "new" and many of us have read posts about situations like yours.

The thing is this...unless one of our Sorors from the particular chapter you are referring to is here on GC, none of my Sorors here can really address "why" you were treated in the manner you claim. You really need to address that with those Sorors at your school.

I will say this though....perhaps you're taking it all a little too "personally" and it shows in your demeanor and attitude to the Sorors on your campus. Perhaps you need to seriously practice discretion and not tell any other interested ladies on your campus about how you feel. I guarantee you that any discussion like that will get straight back to my Sorors on your campus.

There is no "Users' Guide" or manual to direct you on communication. This applies to any situation in life - work, relationships, friendships - not just AKA. When you feel like this, get up, dust yourself off, and keep striving.
  #3  
Old 02-07-2002, 03:43 PM
Marcellac85 Marcellac85 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Charleston, West Virginia
Posts: 2
Questions...

Thank You, Prayerfull for your response. I really appreciate it.
  #4  
Old 02-07-2002, 09:05 PM
tammy- tammy- is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 71
Red face



Sorry to hear about the drama!

I think that you should not let the members on your campus up set you so. Look at the big picture. There may be a reason why they feel the way they do. I think you should still attend events and definately not say anything to ANYONE about you feelings about the members on your campus. If all else fails- you can always try grad.

I went through something similar- Once I attended an event attitudes changed and people were not friendly. I did not get up set after thinking about it. I felt bad that letters could make some one so mean........

It was not me- It was common on my campus- I will leave it at that

Adopt a positive attitude- you never know
  #5  
Old 02-08-2002, 12:49 PM
AKA2D '91 AKA2D '91 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Homeownerville USA!!!
Posts: 12,897
Quote:
Originally posted by prayerfull
Your situation is nothing "new" and many of us have read posts about situations like yours.

Right!
Nor, does it start or begin with my Sorors ONLY!

Quote:
...unless one of our Sorors from the particular chapter you are referring to is here on GC, none of my Sorors here can really address "why" you were treated in the manner you claim. You really need to address that with those Sorors at your school.

AMEN!

Quote:
There is no "Users' Guide" or manual to direct you on communication. This applies to any situation in life - work, relationships, friendships - not just AKA. When you feel like this, get up, dust yourself off, and keep striving.
Say that!

The end!

Please refer to our "Pearls of Wisdom" before posting!

Thank You!

Last edited by AKA2D '91; 02-08-2002 at 12:52 PM.
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