Didn't get a bid, what should I do?

chlorax · #1 10-16-2011, 03:29 PM

Ok so basically I rushed three fraternities during rush week at my school. At every single one, I got to know as many of the brothers as possible, I would say I was as friendly as possible, and said just about all the right things about why I wanted to be in a fraternity. I was even invited to smoke with some of the brothers at one of the houses, so this was a sign that as I was really clicking with them. I went to as many rush events as possible at each of the 3 fraternities. But once bid day came around, I was very disappointed to find out on that I didn't get a bid from anywhere. My GPA is relatively low (2.46) but I was told by several brothers that even if you have a low GPA, you can get a bid and not be able to actually pledge until the grades go up.

And I know many people on here are going to say, "ask the brothers why you didn't get a bid." However, most fraternities have a policy where they cannot provide you that information, so I am still wondering. Thats why I wanted to know if anyone else on here got rejected from a fraternity, and if you did, do you know why? Or if there are any active brothers on this forum who could tell me why they decline rushees.

And my last question, do you think I am missing out on a lot of social life not being in a fraternity. I don't have that many friends, so I was hoping this would be my way of getting a few. But now I kind of feel like a loser and a loner. I don't know what to do, most people already have their friend groups and don't want to reach out to anybody.

Should I rush the fraternities in the spring or something and hope that they reconsider me? Or is it not worth it?

B.Q: For active brothers, how often do you guys throw parties.

excelblue · #2 10-16-2011, 03:48 PM

Every fraternity (or rather, every chapter) has their own policies, which may vary.

Personally speaking, in my chapter, even though anyone with at least at least a 2.5GPA could pledge and get initiated, those with lower than 3.0 typically don't get bids. The reasoning is that a fraternity takes a lot of time and commitment, and it's usually better for that person to spend time improving his GPA instead of having to worry about both a fraternity and academics simultaneously.

Also, even if you came across as a social, likable person, you might have simply not been a good fit for the fraternities in question. Work on your academics, check out a few more fraternities, and rush again next semester.

chlorax · #3 10-16-2011, 04:39 PM

Great answer. I probably didn't ask this very clearly in my previous post, but if I were to raise my grades (to say above a 3.0) and try again for a second semester in a row (showing great interest), would I be a possible candidate for pledging in your chapter. Any other active brothers who see this post are welcome to reply too.

amIblue? · #4 10-16-2011, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chlorax

Great answer. I probably didn't ask this very clearly in my previous post, but if I were to raise my grades (to say above a 3.0) and try again for a second semester in a row (showing great interest), would I be a possible candidate for pledging in your chapter. Any other active brothers who see this post are welcome to reply too.

Swerving out of my lane, but is it mathematically possible for you to raise your GPA from below a 2.5 to above a 3.0 by next semester?

chlorax · #5 10-16-2011, 05:21 PM

yeah, I'm taking 5 classes right now and getting A/A-s in 4 of them

amIblue? · #6 10-16-2011, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chlorax

yeah, I'm taking 5 classes right now and getting A/A-s in 4 of them

Good luck to you, then.

DeltaBetaBaby · #7 10-16-2011, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chlorax

Great answer. I probably didn't ask this very clearly in my previous post, but if I were to raise my grades (to say above a 3.0) and try again for a second semester in a row (showing great interest), would I be a possible candidate for pledging in your chapter. Any other active brothers who see this post are welcome to reply too.

Are these the only three options? Do you know people in other chapters? Why not broaden your search?

chlorax · #8 10-16-2011, 10:11 PM

there is only 4 fraternities at my school (one of the chapters doesn't have a house). I go to a school of only 2400 people

KSUViolet06 · #9 10-16-2011, 10:25 PM

In terms of whether you're "missing out"-- we're all Greek so you may be asking the wrong group.

Generally speaking though, your average university is not such that if you are not Greek, there is NOTHING to do.

Even the schools with the largest percentage of Greeks have plenty to do outside of Greek Life.

I find that when people say "everyone here is Greek" and "there's nothing to do," they are saying that because that's what they're focusing on.

Ex: Let's say you tried out for football, bsketball, and soccer in HS and didnt make any of those. Your perception of the school is probably going to be "like, EVERYONE at AHS plays a sport" or you're nobody if you dont play a sport" or "I have no friends because all the other guys are in sports and have sports friends."

This isn't actually be true (only a small percentage of a school plays a sport), but you're focusing on sports so much that you don't see that there's Student Gov't, Math Club, etc.

Same with Greek Life. It seems like everyone is Greek and no one wants to be your friend because they're all Greek and have fraternity friends already, but you need to expand your horizons and actually LOOK at other things to do.

DeltaBetaBaby · #10 10-16-2011, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chlorax

there is only 4 fraternities at my school (one of the chapters doesn't have a house). I go to a school of only 2400 people

Okay, that makes sense. I'm guessing the 3 you looked at were the housed chapters? In that case, yes, get your grades up and rush again.

AlphaFrog · #11 10-17-2011, 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chlorax

I don't know what to do, most people already have their friend groups and don't want to reach out to anybody.

If you're sitting in your dorm room waiting for a group of friends to reach out to you, NO WONDER YOU'RE LONELY!!!

A fraternity is not the only place to find friends - or even a group of friends. Try a club related to your major, volunteering, intramurals, or any number of other activities.

Also, if you do raise your grades and get a bid, that doesn't mean instant friends either. You still have to put yourself out there and make an effort to get to know people.

AnotherKD · #12 10-17-2011, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chlorax

there is only 4 fraternities at my school (one of the chapters doesn't have a house). I go to a school of only 2400 people

How many people are in each fraternity? I mean, if there are 100 guys in each one, that is a pretty small percentage of the school's population that are in fraternities. I don't see how you wouldn't have a social life outside of that.

SydneyK · #13 10-17-2011, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

How many people are in each fraternity? I mean, if there are 100 guys in each one, that is a pretty small percentage of the school's population that are in fraternities.

If there are 2400 in the school, without knowing the gender breakdown, I would assume there are around 1200 men. If there are 100 guys in each of the 4 fraternities, that's 400, which is 1/3. Pretty Greek-heavy from that POV. *shrugs*

Good luck to the OP. Just get involved in the things you enjoy. Small schools still have all kinds of opportunities for meeting new people - you'll find your place eventually.

lucgreek · #14 10-17-2011, 09:55 AM

You only rushed three chapters at a school with four. Why? Was the unhoused group not a good fit, or did you not want to join a chapter without a house?

Your GPA is the most likely reason you didn't get a bid (I would have immediately vetoed a person with a 2.46. No point in taking someone who will already be facing academic probation), but none of us know that for sure. You could have been completely socially awkward and your GPA never came into the picture. Again, we don't know.

Get involved with campus groups if you need more friends.

AnotherKD · #15 10-17-2011, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

If there are 2400 in the school, without knowing the gender breakdown, I would assume there are around 1200 men. If there are 100 guys in each of the 4 fraternities, that's 400, which is 1/3. Pretty Greek-heavy from that POV. *shrugs*

Good luck to the OP. Just get involved in the things you enjoy. Small schools still have all kinds of opportunities for meeting new people - you'll find your place eventually.

I can see that. I was a school that had over 50% of the students in Greek life, and there was still a lot of social activities/clubs out there for everyone. Even though it was mostly greek, many people who weren't still had very fulfilling social lives. It just depends on what you put into it.