i know i post a lot BUT SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.

[luckygirl]

the first sorority event is tomorrow night. its all the sororities in one huge room and u get to meet them. I HAVE NO ONE TO GO WITH. im so scared to not have anyone to talk to! any suggestions? should i go really early so not a lot of ppl have showed up yet? im so nervous u have no idea...im freaking out...im so afraid to arrive alone. please help me

[luckygirl]

im sorry i know u guys hate me as it is but im really hoping for some advice.

[AnotherKD]

Phew.

Listen, lots of people go through recruitment alone. Take a deep breath and put your big girl panties on. It's just a conversation.

[AZTheta]

*raises hand*

I went by myself.

You can do this. It's worth it.

[luckygirl]

thanks guys. i just know as soon as i see all these groups of girls talking im gonna be lost and confused and nervous aaaahhh and its such a big room

[BraveMaroon]

Keep in mind that the sororities are going to actively engage you - it's their job to find new members, so I doubt you'd just be standing there freaking out for long.

In the adult world, working a room is a critical skill - learn it, love it.

[ellebud]

I went by myself. Both my girls went by themselves. (Yes, one didn't pledge.) It's ok. And you have the benefit of bringing all the attention to you.

[psusue]

Okay, I'll bite. Think of it this way-- this is great career fair practice. Realize that the sorority members will be introducing themselves to you, introducing you to their sisters, etc, but you don't have to rely on that.

One of the fastest and easiest ways to make people think you're a wonderful conversationalist is to ask them questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves-- it's their favorite subject. Think family, friends, background, interests, hobbies, skills, involvement on campus and off, the list goes on and on. I have about 8-10 standby questions in case a conversation doesn't "spark" so to speak, or if there is a lull in it.

One fortunate part about being a woman is that in my experience, we tend to want to make people feel comfortable, even in awkward situations. Most women, even shy ones, will try to make a conversation with you just to fill the silence. My biggest advice is just to take a deep breath, relax, don't talk to fast, and really, really listen to the person with whom you're speaking. Conversations are like trees, from each topic there could be a multitude of other topics to which you can travel. Ex:

Rusher: So Jane, what dorm do you live in on campus?
PNM: Oh I live in Penn dorms.
(Rusher could now ask Jane about whether she chose to live in Penn dorms, whether she gets along with her roommate, whether she likes her RA, whether she's close with the people on her floor or not, etc.)

There is no one perfect formula for a conversation, but with active listening, keeping calm, and good give and take, I think everyone can become sufficient at it. Also, though it doesn't help a ton for tomorrow, try to strike up a conversation with people that you meet during the day. It could be the person in the elevator, the person next to you in class, the person who held the door for you, the person taking your order at the deli, etc. Try to think of topics then, because the more that you practice the more natural it gets. Best of luck and let us know how it goes.

[greekdee]

Not have anyone to talk to? You will have sorority members to talk to! Please girl, you have got to calm down. Give yourself a break and breathe a little. You have been posting so many threads hon, and coming across as desperate and insecure. This is not how you want the sororities to perceive you.

First, I doubt you'll be the only girl to show up alone. Second, the purpose of this event is to meet the sororities -- not hang out in a clique of girlfriends. Three, this event will most likely NOT be like walking into a night club by yourself! Sorority recruitment events are usually structured and organized to some degree, designed to encourage interaction between sorority members and potential new members. I don't know how your school will have things designed, but I really, really do not think Panhellenic is going to drop you PNM's into a pit of pandemonium or toss you into a "sink or swim, baby" scenario.

Get excited and enthusiastic about recruitment starting. If you truly feel that way, it will come through in your conversation, interest level and body language. If you see a girl walking towards the event by herself, or waiting by herself, strike up some conversation and maybe you'll end up walking in together. BUT -- it does not matter who you walk in with or walk out with. What matters is what takes place inside, and that will be meeting sorority members, not giggling with girlfriends

You seem to be letting your fears morph into the big bad monster you think is under the bed -- and isn't. Stay focused on what the event is about, and that's meeting the sororities. Is recruitment pretty structured at your school and are PNM's put into Rho Chi groups? If so, you may actually be getting your group assignment tomorrow night --viola! Instant people around you.

And ask yourself this: if I go to recruitment by myself, what is the worst thing that could happen? I think you'll see this is not a life or death circumstance. If your fear is that you'll end up in a corner by yourself, well, that will only happen if you choose it. Remember, you are going to meet sorority women...so meet them. And remember, they are there to meet you too!

No, don't show up real early and do not show up late at all. Get there on time, and by that I mean about 10 minutes before the event starts. Calm down, have fun and good luck!

[luckygirl]

okay so i did it and it wasnt bad at all. it was organized and they actually put us into groups. but now rush....im nervous about this even more bc its like a party. going to a party alone at 9pm? NERVE-RACKING!!!

[psusue]

Originally Posted by luckygirl

okay so i did it and it wasnt bad at all. it was organized and they actually put us into groups. but now rush....im nervous about this even more bc its like a party. going to a party alone at 9pm? NERVE-RACKING!!!

It's going to be something similar, I can almost guarantee you. We are pretty much put through our paces to make sure that we have the skills to keep the conversation going, and for the most part that responsibility lies with us. Not saying you can't ask questions (do so! it will give your rusher a little break and I know I welcome that) but you won't be 'thrown to the wolves'. Please take a deep breath. Exercise and maybe do some yoga before recruitment starts? And be yourself. You've done all you can do, now stop stressing.

[Katmandu]

You need to calm down and quit the theatrics.

Everyone is not looking at you and you are not the center of the universe. Once you realize that, you will automatically become more comfortable in crowds and among strangers, because you will know it's not all about YOU.

[erica812]

luckygirl, I am a really shy person, and I was very nervous about rush. I signed up for rush with my friend, but we were put into different rush groups. I never saw her through the whole week of rush, so I was essentially alone. And you know what...it was fun!!! For real. I enjoyed my conversations with all of the sorority members. The activities and presentations were all fun and interesting. I didn't end up pledging, but the experience was really a POSITIVE turning point in my college experience. I met lots of people and eventually found my niche in the social scene.

[melindawarren]

I just went through two recruitments alone. It was actually a lot more fun to make friends during recruitment, rather than to come in with friends and be basically anti-social with other people. Now, I have friends in just about every sorority on my campus.

[thetaj]

I went by myself! And I met lots of great girls through recruitment. Meaning, even lots of girls who didn't go Theta with me.