Pregnant Sorority Member

[GreekGirley]

Not going to say where I'm from or what conference my school is in, but suffice it to say that Greek Life is a big deal at this school...

How do your sorority chapters address situations where a member gets pregnant? Do you let her stay, make her resign, what? I realize it's a sensitive topic and I want to try and be sensitive about it, but I'm at a loss on what to do.

Also, this girl still has our sorority letters in her facebook pictures. If she resigns or is asked to leave but stays at the same school (instead of transfer to go alum), do you ask her to remove the letters from her FB page?

Thanks for your help.

[33girl]

If a sorority members resigns or is terminated, regardless of what the circumstances are, she should remove her letters from her FB page, as well as any photos of her wearing or using sorority paraphernalia (which she should of course return to the chapter). Until a termination is final, a sorority member should not be asked to do this (as she is still a member).

As far as your current situation, your first step should be to check with your national HQ and see if there are any national bylaws you have to follow. If there aren't...it differs with every chapter and every school.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by GreekGirley

Not going to say where I'm from or what conference my school is in, but suffice it to say that Greek Life is a big deal at this school...

How do your sorority chapters address situations where a member gets pregnant? Do you let her stay, make her resign, what? I realize it's a sensitive topic and I want to try and be sensitive about it, but I'm at a loss on what to do.

Also, this girl still has our sorority letters in her facebook pictures. If she resigns or is asked to leave but stays at the same school (instead of transfer to go alum), do you ask her to remove the letters from her FB page?

Thanks for your help.

Is this a local or a young sorority? Would you have non-GC resources to use in figuring this out?

[StarryNightASA]

One of my sisters at my chapter got pregnant last year in the fall and was about 8 months pregnant during recruitment in January. A lot of PNMs loved seeing her there because it just proved that we were all there for each other no matter what. This also happened to a girl in another chapter at my school and they handled it the same way.

I don't know what your national policy on the matter is, but if there is none, I would treat the girl like any other sister and let her make her own decision as to what to do about her membership. She may need her sisters more than ever.

[GreekGirley]

Originally Posted by StarryNightASA

A lot of PNMs loved seeing her there because it just proved that we were all there for each other no matter what. This also happened to a girl in another chapter at my school and they handled it the same way.

So the PNMs didn't attach a negative stigma to that situation? I'd be curious to know what was going through their minds. Where is your school located, geographically - and do your students consider themselves conservative or liberal? I think our schools may differ in makeup and overall philosophy....

[FSUZeta]

i doubt that the girl would have to terminate her membership-she might be offered alumna status, and frankly, she will be awfully busy and have lots of expenses-taking alumna status might be the best thing for her.

you need to speak with your chapter's advisors-they will most likely have contacted the area officer above them to make sure that they are following your national rules.

[StarryNightASA]

Originally Posted by GreekGirley

So the PNMs didn't attach a negative stigma to that situation? I'd be curious to know what was going through their minds. Where is your school located, geographically - and do your students consider themselves conservative or liberal? I think our schools may differ in makeup and overall philosophy....

My school is located in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia which is super conservative and religious. It's a pretty small school so you pretty much know what's going on at all times.

[victoriana]

I know a sorority at my school had a situation where a member became pregnant as an active. Their national HQ had a bylaw that forced the member to become an early alumna. Although pregnancy is a beautiful thing, I don't think that it necessarily lines up with what PNMs might expect. Personally, I would have been weirded out. It would be cool if an advisor or an alum was pregnant and helped out with recruitment, but a pregnant active seems a bit strange to me. I guess how people would respond would vary greatly from campus to campus.

[Barbie's_Rush]

This will all depend on the campus, the chapter and the national/international bylaws. Discussing it here is pointless.

[naraht]

Originally Posted by StarryNightASA

My school is located in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia which is super conservative and religious. It's a pretty small school so you pretty much know what's going on at all times.

Could be worse, could be at Regent.

[agzg]

When I was a collegian, a member of my chapter got pregnant and was forced into alumna status by the president of my chapter with complete disregard for chapter bylaws and international rules. The president also seemed to forget the fact that while none of them were pregnant as actives or new members, there were a number of moms who were active in our chapter during that particular time period.

While the member in question probably would have changed status herself since she was busting her butt trying to graduate early plus preparing for the baby, forcing her into it ensured that she cut off friendships with most of the active members and definitely colored her entire sorority experience in a negative way. This was particularly sad for me because she was a leading reason why I joined.

So, in addition to having a baby a little sooner than planned (which should have been a joyous experience for her, as she always wanted to have kids and did want to have them soon after graduation), and dealing with the stress of that plus the stress of finishing up school, the chapter (as an entity) effectively turned their backs on her (minus a few members who stuck by her).

The point of this anecdote is tread lightly, consult chapter advisors and international rules, and don't force her into anything if you don't have to.

Sometimes showing true sisterhood and support is more important than looking bad to a bunch of PNMs during recruitment.

[LouisaMay]

Originally Posted by StarryNightASA

One of my sisters at my chapter got pregnant last year in the fall and was about 8 months pregnant during recruitment in January. A lot of PNMs loved seeing her there because it just proved that we were all there for each other no matter what. This also happened to a girl in another chapter at my school and they handled it the same way.

I don't know what your national policy on the matter is, but if there is none, I would treat the girl like any other sister and let her make her own decision as to what to do about her membership. She may need her sisters more than ever.

I'm proud that your chapter placed support of a sister and friend over concerns about whether she would "sell well" among PNMs.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by StarryNightASA

My school is located in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia which is super conservative and religious. It's a pretty small school so you pretty much know what's going on at all times.

Emphasis on the bolded. If the school/Greek system is small to begin with, the entire world probably knows the girl's pregnant immediately anyway and terminating her as an act of "so no one finds out and it doesn't hurt us in rush or our rep" would be pointless. A bigger school/system, that's a different kettle of fish.

[MikeEllis]

Originally Posted by agzg

Sometimes showing true sisterhood [or brotherhood] and support is more important than looking bad to a bunch of PNMs during recruitment.

I wish every house had this sentence hanging on the wall.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by MikeEllis

I wish every house had this sentence hanging on the wall.

Yes, but that won't get members paying dues coming bursting through the doors, and that is what the organizations care about at the end of the day. You can be friends with whomever you want, but recruitment is recruitment, and the focus is on the chapter's image.