A very honest, very beachy recruitment story

[pinksand]

Hello GCers! I'm a longtime lurker who has FINALLY, at long last, decided to become a poster! And obviously my first real post had to be my recruitment story I stumbled upon this site thanks to my freshman year roommate, and it was an invaluable help to me when I was going through formal recruitment! (I'm now a junior, so this was quite awhile ago! Eek!) I found that the ones I enjoyed the most were the "brutally honest" ones, particularly those that provided a little background story on the PNM, so here goes!

I went to a small, private school in the Northeast. (If you think you know what the school is- and you might, despite my best efforts to be discreet, please PM me!) I'm from a tiny Jersey Shore town that does not normally send students to this school. I became aware of it because my boyfriend had gone there for a year. He transferred for a variety of reasons, but during his time there he joined a fraternity and was convinced that this was the ONLY way to have a social life so I HAD to do it. (Not true, but this is initially why I decided to go out for recruitment.) In his infinite wisdom, he also told me that Scotch Bonnet and Murex (I'm doing a seashell theme) were the only two worth joining, and that I unquestionably belonged in Murex. Okay then.

I'd talked to my roomie a little before school began, but I didn't really get a feel for her until I moved in. Lilly (as I'll call her for good reason) had lived in the South until her freshman year of high school and had been planning to go to Big Southern U until she had gotten in to my school off the waitlist. Lilly, like many other Chuck Norris type PNMs I've seen described on here, had been seemingly prepped for recruitment since birth. Both her mother and sister were very involved in their own sororities (neither of whom were on my campus). As it turned out, her sister had done "research" and told her that Murex was the only chapter on campus worthy of her.

(This should tell you enough about the stupidity of this "tent talk": Lilly looks and dresses exactly like you're picturing, while I'm a beachy hippie who wears flip flops and tie dye until the last possible moment it's acceptable and just give off a relaxed island vibe. The idea that one chapter was absolutely the ONLY place for both of us was absurd in every possible way.)

We have deferred recruitment, so during our first semester we met a lot of sorority women. I came in contact with a lot of girls in Tellin. Boyfriend had said they were "good" and reasonably sought after, and I found their relaxed vibe (they had a lot of athletes) more like what I was looking for. I also saw, but did not interact with, members of Scallop. Boyfriend had said that this chapter was solidly middle tier, not good not bad, but during a brief break between us had dated one (who was also not at the school anymore) so I had a negative impression of them despite not having to risk being that one girl's sister. Lilly was still Murex or bust.

Finally, second semester rolled around, and it was recruitment time!

[FSUZeta]

like

[amIblue?]

Don't leave us hanging!

[ConfettiCupcake]

I seriously love recruitment stories and you are sooooo right - they are much better with all the background details!

[pinksand]

Sorry for the wait, friends! I got some exciting news regarding a job (just part time for the semester, nothing tooooo exciting but I'm desperate for money) so I've been busy!

My school has a very no frills recruitment, meaning we wear a tshirt basically the entire time, which is fine by me! I'm a no frills kinda girl. At the advice of my RC, I wore beautiful statement earrings I had gotten on a trip to the Caribbean.... They would help a chapter remember me, and also reflected my personality. Other than that, I wore the required tshirt, jeans, and boots. Lilly of course dressed to the nines, pairing her shirt with a skirt and heels. She looked beautiful and very Lilly. We headed off to recruitment together.

My first party, as fate would have it, was Scallop. I went into this room planning (and hoping) to hate it. However, as my mom did not raise a rude girl (and selfishly, I knew for GC that chapters talk) I went in here with my game face on and planned to impress the heck out of them. To my dismay, I loved my first rusher. And my second. And my third. They were super chill, funny, and relaxed. I felt extremely comfortable and actually enjoyed myself despite first party nerves. I left this room confused, as everything I thought I thought had been turned upside down. Of course, as a stubborn, ignorant 18 year old, I still planned to rank them low. (Ick.)

Next I had Conch. Boyfriend told me that this chapter was bad bad bad. Tent talk (or, more specifically, the words of rude vindictive PNMs, as there are no actual tents) agreed with him. I disagreed. The girls were very cute, their room was nice, I had actually heard of and respected their national organization. They prided themselves on academics, and came off as sort of type A, which did NOT fit my personality whatsoever. I came out thinking I probably didn't fit, but that Boyfriend was a lame loser for speaking badly about them (an opinion I later realized was true in many areas of life, but I digress).

Next up was Tellin. After this party I loved them even more. Basically (brutally honestly) I felt that they were like Scallop, but with a better reputation. That sounds awful, I know, but that's how my stupid freshman self saw it. They were relaxed, pretty but not aggressively put together, and sort of bro-ey, which I loved. Most importantly, they were cool.... And met Boyfriend's approval. I was about it for sure.

After that was Murex. To this day I have no idea why Boyfriend was positive I belonged there. Murex girls on my campus were very put together, almost to a Stepford Wife-ish degree. They were very nice, and to a certain degree I sort of looked like them (they were known for taking tall, natural blondes, which I am) and I enjoyed my time there. I wanted to go back, even though I knew deep down that I was certainly not the born Murex I had been led to believe I was.

Next was Cockle. (My apologies for the name, there simply aren't that many types of shells.) Cockle, like Conch, suffered from a poor reputation amongst PNMs. Unlike with Conch, in this room I could see why. It sounds awful to say, but I'm just reporting what I saw as a freshman PNM. These girls were very nice, but clearly had not been prepared for recruitment as well as other rooms. Conversations were stilted and awkward. I felt that I was rushing the rusher. To be quite honest, I was stressed out the entire time, because I didn't want to appear rude but also was having a hard time thinking of anything to say to these miserable-looking girls. I did not want to go back.

Last was Scotch Bonnet. According to Boyfriend, the "best" group on campus. They were certainly beautiful, but in a very made up way. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just mean that these girls clearly spent a lot of time on their personal appearance, which I generally do not do. I had a good time there's, and wouldn't mind going back, but I couldn't see myself fitting in there on a day to day basis.

I ranked the groups as follows:
1. Tellin
2. Murex
3. Scotch bonnet
4. Scallop

And my least favorite
5. Conch
6. Cockle

Lilly ranked hers the same way, with murex and scotch bonnet at her top. We went back to our rooms to anxiously await the call..:

[pinksand]

....... And the call came the next morning! I was ASTOUNDED that I was invited back to my top 4. Not so much about Tellin and Murex (I was a shoe in.... Right? Right?) but more about Scotch bonnet.... What could those exotic beauty queens have seen in my blonde freckled Norts wearing self?

Lilly, to my shock, had been cut from scotch bonnet and had the same schedule as me with Conch there instead. We concluded that Scotch bonnet must have heard that she was a shoe in for Murex, so they cut her as a sort of yield protection scheme. (I'll pause so you can all recover.)

To be honest, my next day went basically the same as the first, so I won't bore you with excessive detail. I began my day with Scotch bonnet. Once again, I really liked them and appreciated their philanthropy, which was REALLY cool and they were clearly really into it. I just couldn't picture myself putting on a face full of makeup every single day of my life, which every girl appeared to do. (I also sensed that they might frown upon Norts and yoga pants as daily wear, which would require a major lifestyle change. I know you ladies from proper Southern schools are probably horrified, as Lilly was, but that's how it is at the Shore!)

Next was Murex. Like scotch bonnet, I felt that I might not exactly fit in. While they weren't the done up beauty queens, they seemed like the type of girls who would have a tea party, or Monogram everything they owned. I couldn't imagine playing a game of pickup soccer on the beach in November with them. However, I really liked them, and sensed that they liked me, which was flattering. A few girls mentioned that they knew Boyfriend, which I know now is a big no no but at the time thought was just dandy. Who wouldn't want to be associated with Boyfriend???? (Answer with wisdom of time: everyone)

Then, I had Tellin. I loved them even more this day. They just seemed like people I could hang out with in sweats and no make up, and who would show up to that pick up game. Scallop, which was last, felt basically the same way. I spoke to one girl I REALLY liked at Scallop on this day. I liked her enough to realize that I could MAYBE look past Boyfriend's indiscretions and MAYBE bless this chapter with my lovely presence. (Puke.)

I ranked the chapters as follows, in order:
1. Tellin
2. Murex
3. Scallop
4. Scotch Bonnet

(Small aside: at the time, I was SO proud of myself for bucking tiers and ranking the "top" chapter last. I served as an RC in last years formal recruitment, and realized how many girls actually do this! PNMs are more open than we give them credit for.)

Lilly ranked hers in order of her perceived tiers of her remaining chapters: murex, Tellin, Scallop, and Conch. She told me if she had to pref conch she would JUST DIE. Scallop wasn't her favorite either, but she confessed that if she had to pref them she'd survive, as her sister told her that they were "up and coming" and she was actually surprised at how much she liked their room.

And next came pref.........

[WCsweet<3]

Love your quick updates!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Love the story!

[Low D Flat]

I came out thinking I probably didn't fit, but that Boyfriend was a lame loser for speaking badly about them (an opinion I later realized was true in many areas of life, but I digress).

LOL. We've all been there with a college boyfriend.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by Low D Flat

LOL. We've all been there with a college boyfriend.

Ain't it the truth?

[pinksand]

LOL, Boyfriend did turn out to be the lamest of losers. It happens to the best of us, I guess At least he motivated me to go out for recruitment (even if it was for totally the wrong reasons, and filled with misinformation).

Anyway, on the day of pref, Lilly got her call first. She took it in the hallway (one of her many qualities that I found slightly annoying, as she was just going to tell me anyway. Why put on the show?). She didn't come back, but before I could go after her, my RC called. I had been invited to preference at Tellin and Scallop. While the loss of Murex stung a little, I was more embarrassed at having to tell Boyfriend that they'd dropped me than sad that I wouldn't be a part of their chapter. (Predictably, Boyfriend had nothing but unhelpful and rude things to say: "(Expletive) them! I guess you weren't (insert bad offensive thing here) enough for them." Le sigh.) Tellin was where I felt I belonged all along, and I was begrudgingly excited to see the Scallops again, even though I fully intended to suicide Tellin.

After calling Boyfriend, my mom, and my best friend from home, I realized Lilly had still yet to return. I went to the hallway: no Lilly. Lounge: no Lilly. She wasn't in any of our friends' rooms either. I finally found her sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing.

She had been invited to Conch. Only Conch.

I was floored. To be honest, to this day I am still floored that this happened to her. In the interest of full disclosure, Lilly and I are no longer close friends, due to a tense situation between her, myself and our suitemates sophomore year, involving the constant presence of Lilly's very own lame loser boyfriend. So I'm saying this as someone who doesn't even really like her anymore: it was SHOCKING that this happened to her. She's a pretty girl, and extremely put together. She really wanted to be in a sorority because she had grown up around Greek women and respected the institution. She made a great first impression and had been prepped for rush seemingly since birth. I still just simply don't get it.

To be honest, in that moment, I wanted to quit. The whole process seemed so upside down and unfair: I had gone out somewhat on a whim and done reasonably well, while this girl who had been born into Greekdom and faced pressure from her family had seemingly gotten royally screwed.

(Small aside: after I got into my own organization, I asked a few sisters about Lilly. I never got details, and I really don't want to tread into membership selection territory, but I was told by a few sisters that Lilly had said offensive/off putting things about meeting boys at parties. I know for a FACT that Miss Born to Rush would never never ever have said anything she shouldn't have said. Was there maybe a lookalike PNM with a similar name who was going around asking inappropriate questions? I'll never know and neither will Lilly. But I thought it was interesting.)

I felt terrible leaving Lilly to go to pref, but I decided that I did want to go through with it. First up was Tellin. Their ceremony was beautiful, and very personal. A girl I played instamurals with in the fall preffed me. I left that room feeling 100% confident I would be a Tellin. Frankly, I was just excited to get my shirt the next day.

Scallop was an entirely different experience. I was preffed by the girl I LOVED. I didn't want I admit how much I liked it there and how comfortable I felt. I went in there thinking I was already a Tellin and while Scallop's pref was very nice nothing in there changed my mind.

My excellent RC talked me out of suiciding by explaining to me that they only advised listing one chapter if you'd rather jump off a bridge than join the other. (I don't know how politically correct this is, but it worked on me.) I ranked, and then went back to my room, which was NOT a happy place to be. Lilly's mother had tried to persuade her to go to Conch's pref, but understood why she didn't want to. She was supportive of her decision that she'd rather not be Greek than be a Conch. Lilly's sister also understood, but also spent the better part of their conversation bashing the school, the Greek system at our school, and telling Lilly that had she gone to Big Southern U she would have had her pick of the sororities. (Not to be offensives, but I just couldn't believe someone took something that was supposed to be fun SO seriously. Cultural differences I guess.)

When I didn't receive a call the next morning, I went to pick up my bid.......

[MTSUGURL]

You are mean. Seriously. Finish please.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

You are mean. Seriously. Finish please.

Seriously mean.

[WCsweet<3]

Really? Like really? Come on!!!

[ree-Xi]

Considering it happened two years ago, I am so surprised that she remembers so many details!