My Recent, Informal Recruitment!

[Lissi11]

Hi everybody! I've been lurking for awhile now, and have decided to share my recruitment story from this year from a medium-sized school with four sororities. I shall nickname them after my four favorite stores—Tiffany’s, BCBG, Coach, and Sephora.

About my school: it has a reputation as a commuter school and definitely has a more non-traditional student body, but the administration is doing a lot to give it a more residential-campusy feel and so far they’re doing a great job!

A little about me: I was SUPER involved in high school and got really, really good grades. I have gone to two colleges before this one (yay transferring!) and, while my grades weren’t as good as in high school, I think they’re still pretty good (well above a 3.0). I’ve been really involved in college, too, (mostly with academic societies and volunteering clubs) and currently am a student athlete. At this point you might be wondering why I didn’t go Greek before. Well, at my first school I was also an athlete and had practice and game conflicts the entire week of recruitment so I didn’t even bother, and at my second school I was told I had no chance whatsoever if I wasn’t an eighteen-year-old freshman straight out of high school (it’s on the have-recs-or-else list) and I listened and chose not to participate in recruitment (perhaps foolishly, but I guess I’ll never know, and it’s neither here nor there anymore). I don’t know anyone at my new school very well except my teammates and a few people I’ve met in class, and I have always loved the idea of a sisterhood (God gave me only brothers!) and would like to get involved here and meet lots of people and have an impact on my new campus.

About the GLOs: All four are smallish chapters, but extremely active in terms of community service, which is SUPER important to me.

About recruitment here: The recruitment process is spread out over a couple weeks and is fairly informal, according to what the Greek Affairs Director (who was SO nice!) told me. First all the sororities have events together, then they hold their events separately and you can pick and choose whose you attend, finding out who will offer you a bid as the individual chapters see fit.

Pre-recruitment thoughts: I know someone who is really sweet and in Tiffany’s through my team, and many women who have been on the team in previous years hold exec positions. I do not know anyone in Coach, although they are quite visible on campus. I have met one girl from BCBG, but she seemed kind of fake, was constantly looking around while we were talking, and actually made a negative comment to my face about girls with a certain hair color that I happen to have and physical description into which I clearly fit—ouch. She also mentioned she was getting in touch with another potential new member who had gone to my high school who was always known for causing mad drama wherever she went. So, while I will definitely give BCBG full consideration next week once recruitment starts, so far this one woman (and I know there are many more, so I will not let her decide my impression of her entire sorority!) has rubbed me the wrong way. I do not know anyone in Sephora, either, but they wrote me a really nice response to my email request for more info, called me to follow up about next week’s events, and I ran into the president and two members today at a volunteering event that I was working with my team and got to meet them. It really impressed me that they were out so early on a weekend morning giving their time and energy to such an important cause! The president also wrote a lovely follow-up email, so it’s good to know they know of me now.

So, based on general impressions, so far my preliminary inclinations are:

1. Sephora
2. Tiffany’s
2. Coach
3. BCBG

BUT I am going to keep an open mind and not let ANYTHING sway my decisions other than the experiences I have as I meet the sorority women and go through the process. I will attend all of the first, joint-GLO events (except the one I have to miss because of practice) and as many of the individual events for each of the sororities as I can!

I am SO excited to hopefully find a home in one of these GLOs and, if nothing else, at least get to learn a bit more about myself, meet some awesome ladies along the way, and hopefully make lots of new friends!

Now I just have to hurry up and wait!

[victoriana]

You seem very positive! Good luck, can't wait to hear your story

[Lissi11]

Thank you, Victoriana!

Continuing:

So today was info table day.

First I went to Tiffany’s table. I met one active sister and one alumna. They were really sweet, but the active sister seemed super shy/nervous/scared. We talked about their philantrophy and I was impressed by it. Conversation kind of tapered off, so I picked up their schedule of events and moved on.

Next I stopped at Sephora’s table. I met two actives, one of whom I had met on Saturday at the volunteering event. They showed me some things from their last national convention and gave me an info pamphlet about their chapter and told me about some of their philanthropies. I had really good, flowing conversations with both ladies and found out I had some interests in common with the one I had already met. They also offered to introduce me to some sisters who had my same major, which I thought was really nice. I had to make an effort to tear myself away from this table.

At Coach’s table I met two sisters, including a past president. They impressed me with the number of hours of community service they did each semester, but didn’t seem too interested in finding anything out about me. From their pictures on their display board and what they told me, it sounds like they do have a lot of fun. While I was at this table, the Greek Affairs Director came up and said hi. I was really impressed that they remembered my name. We chatted a bit and they told some jokes and showed just how good of a relationship they have with the GLOs. Again, I was quite impressed that they came up to say hi.

The last table I went to was BCBG’s. I met three ladies there—the one I had met with before, and two other sisters. The two others didn’t stay and chat much, so I only really talked to the one. The conversation was okay, but felt really superficial and like we were always reaching for a topic. After awhile I left, info sheet in hand.

So, after the first day, this is where they stand:

1. Sephora
2. Tiffany’s
3. Coach
4. BCBG

The next event is tomorrow night. I can’t wait!

[AZTheta]

Question: is this a retro story? It wasn't clear to me from what you initially wrote. If it is, and you post it without dragging it out, there will be many happy readers. We have had a spate of retro recruitment stories in the past few months that either never ended, or took forever to end, resulting in some cranky readers and snarky remarks.

OTOH, if you're currently going through recruitment, good luck! And I hope you find a home.

[Lissi11]

Hi AzTheta!

Yes, it is a retro story from earlier this year--so sorry for not stating that more explicitly!

Thanks for the heads up! I actually have some down time today so I'll go ahead and get the rest of it posted!

[Lissi11]

The next day:

Ahh, tonight was SO much fun! All of the sororities and fraternities had a party together—well, a bunch of them and some potential new members stood around in individual groups talking mostly to themselves in a big room with snacks and music. I had a good time, but definitely felt torn.

A girl from Sephora had called me and asked me if I wanted to meet up with some of them before heading over, so, not wanting to be rude and/or offensive, I accepted. I ended up feeling like I was marked once I was there, though, which was awkward.

Right when we walked in, a girl from Coach whom I talked to yesterday came up and started talking to me, gently prying me away from the group of Sephora girls. She introduced me to a few of her Coach sisters, and I had lovely conversations with three or four girls.

After awhile, one of the Sephora girls came to ask me if I wanted to join some of them in a game, so I was pried away again. Just as that happened, the girl from BCBG whom I’ve been talking to got there and gave me a big hug and then a song came on that everyone danced to. After everyone stopped dancing, she introduced me to a few of her BCBG sisters, but no real conversations came of the introduction, so I drifted back over to the Sephora girls—I felt like since I had shown up with them it would be a bit rude to only talk to other groups.

The Sephora ladies then announced that they would be going to one of the cafeterias on campus for dinner and dessert and asked if I wanted to join them. I said I did, but I wanted to talk to the ladies from Tiffany’s before we left because I really did want to talk to them and also not to seem as though I was ignoring them. I talked to the same two girls I met yesterday, and also met two more of their sisters, and, while sadly too brief, had an awesome conversation with them!

I had an AMAZING time at dinner with the Sephora ladies—I met one girl who had been on my team for the past few years (but isn’t anymore) and it turns out she and I have SOOO much in common it was almost creepy! I had a great time with the ladies and got to meet some of the other potential members, who were all really cool.

About thirty minutes after we got there, the Coach women arrived, and again I felt like I was already marked as “Property of Sephora,” and don’t get me wrong, so far I have loved everything about those ladies, but I feel like I haven’t gotten a chance to meet the other groups as well, but feel that if I now go try to hang out with them, I would offend Sephora.

Two things did really stick out to me, though, one: all of the ladies in all of the sororities seemed to be on really good terms with each other, as if all the sororities are just one big group of friends, which I think is really admirable and just awesome. The second thing that struck me was something a friend of the Sephoras said. This guy had joined us for a bit towards the end of our meal, and as we were leaving he said to me, “I don’t know how serious you are about this group, but I’ll tell you one thing: what they have is really special. This means so much to them, it’s more than just a fraternity for them, it’s like--, it’s like a sisterhood. They are a really amazing group of girls.” Of course I had to giggle inside when he said it was like a sisterhood (duh!), but I thought that his observation of them as an outsider said something.

So, after day two, this is where I'd put everybody:

1. Tiffany's
1. Sephora
1. Coach
4. BCBG

[AZTheta]

Oh Lissi11, thank you on behalf of all your readers! YAY for a retro story that will actually be finished! woohoo!

[Lissi11]

Haha, you're welcome, AzTheta!

Day four:

So I had to miss last night’s events due to practice, but I let the women I had been talking to from each chapter know, and they all said that they understood and it was no big deal. But I still wished I could’ve gone because it was a formal presentation put on by Greek Affairs wherein each chapter gave a presentation, and then they all talked about things they do together as a community and I really would’ve liked to see it. Oh well.

The fourth day was a dessert party for all the sororities. I had hoped they would be all intermingled like the Greek Affairs party night—making it easier and less awkward to talk to everybody, but unfortunately that was just not the case. The whole one-big-happy-Greek-family image of the other night was nowhere to be seen.

Again, one of the Sephora ladies called me to see if I wanted to meet up with a group of them beforehand, and, again, I accepted. I arrived with them, and we all got situated with cupcakes, sat down at a table, and started talking. I had some very nice conversations with them, and we also joked around and talked about some of the music videos they were playing on a big projector screen on one end of the room. Being able to joke with them made me feel really comfortable and at ease, and I liked that. After awhile, they encouraged me to go visit the other tables, which made me feel much less awkward about trying to talk to everyone, and much less branded as “property of Sephora” like I had on day two.

Next I stopped by the table with the Tiffany’s ladies. There were only two girls there, though, which I thought was slightly odd, given that all the other sororities had at least six representatives present throughout, and then several others coming and going. I later found out that the reason for this was that the majority of the sorority was at a concert that night instead. Of the two women not at the concert, one was the same shy/nervous/scared girl from the info table (who seemed much more relaxed tonight) who had also been at the Greek Affairs party, and a different alumna than the one from the info tables. Several things about this worried me: first, I felt like everyone else was leaving the poor shy girl to do all the recruitment work and they didn’t really seem to care about helping her out, second, none of the other chapters seemed to be relying so heavily on their alumnae base, and this made me wonder if they really had any actives at all, and third, I wasn’t too impressed that the majority of the chapter had chosen a concert over helping out their sorority. All of those misgivings aside, though, I had an AMAZING time at their table. I was the only PNM at first, but was later joined by a really cool girl who also wasn’t sure just what to make of the whole process. We talked about all sorts of different things including life at the university, life in the city where the school is, and the different activities they do as a sorority and what it has meant to each of the Tiffany’s women who were there. I could’ve stayed at their table the rest of the night, but they, too, encouraged me to move on and talk to the other chapters present, so on I went to visit the ladies of Coach.

The Coach tables were interesting. They had enough women and PNMs there to fill up two tables, so they had divided in two and were playing a game. They were really involved in the game and quite competitive with each other, so the environment wasn’t really all that conducive to welcoming newcomers, and the seemed to be almost stand-offish to all the other sororities present. They did make a place for me, though, and I got to talk with one of the girls from the info table, one of the girls from the Greek Affairs party, met some other very nice PNMS, and also met their president. We talked a bit about their sorority, about music and concerts and our favorite artists, different majors that the women in the group had, and where we were all from. I stayed there quite awhile and had good enough conversations, but it all felt slightly icy—none of the PNMs who were with them even seemed to be interested in checking out any of the other groups, and the women of Coach seemed to like it that way. So on I moved to the BCBG table.

The ladies of BCBG seemed very happy to see me. My original contact with them had class that night, but she had told her sisters about me, so they all knew who I was, which I thought was kind of cool. I had met one of them briefly at the Greek Affairs party and also at the info tables. It turned out that one of the women at the table was the president of campus club that I’m a member of, and lots of her sisters were also members, which was cool. We chatted for awhile and a fairly good conversation, but I didn’t feel any warm fuzzies.

By this point the event was more or less winding down, so I decided to call it a night. I stopped by the Sephora table to say goodbye and thank them for thinking to call and invite me to meet up with them beforehand, and they said they really hoped to see me at their upcoming individual events. I also stopped by the Tiffany's table to say goodnight, and they said the same thing.

I left not really knowing what to do from this point on. This was the last all-Greek event before the individual chapter recruitment events started, and while they were pretty well spread out for the most part, some conflict of the individual events was unavoidable and I wasn’t quite sure on whom to focus my interest.

My feelings after tonight were this:

1. Tiffany’s
1. Sephora
3. BCBG
4. Coach

[Lissi11]

The conclusion of my story:

The individual events didn’t start until the next week, so I had some time to think things over. While all of the groups had people contacting me to follow up and seemed interested in me, the competitive stand-offishness of Coach left a really bad taste in my mouth, so I decided not to attend their events (which also happened to conflict with other groups’ events, so that wasn’t really too hard of a call to make). I liked BCBG *much* more after the last night, but again, no sparks really flew, and they had a policy wherein new members had to be in a whole year before they were able to assume any leadership positions, and I wanted to be able to get involved right away, if at all possible, so I also decided to let things with them go, too.

While I had had some GREAT conversations with them, the whole thing with most of the Tiffany’s women choosing a concert over their sorority and the fact that there only seemed to be the one girl who really cared enough to be at everything really didn’t sit well with me, and, the more I thought about it, the less appealing their sisterhood looked. I wanted to go to their events the next week, regardless, but they conflicted with practice, my classes, and other recruitment events in which I was more interested, so I ended up not attending any of their individual events.

Ultimately I chose to focus in on Sephora. I went to each of their events, and felt more and more certain that I had made the right choice. As I was driving home from their last event, my phone rang. It was one of the ladies I had met way back at the volunteer event before recruitment started and who had been at almost every single event since. She called to congratulate me and tell me that the women of Sephora had voted in favor of extending me a bid. I was SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED and HAPPY!! I accepted, went through the pledging process, got initiated, and am now a proud sister of….









































































































THETA PHI ALPHA!!
Thank you so much for following my story! I hope you enjoyed it!

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Congratulations!!

[TPA85]

I got goosebumps from the ending of your story!

Congratulations and welcome to our wonderful sisterhood!! <3

[IrishLake]

Great story! Congrats!

[victoriana]

Congratulations!! So happy for you

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Thanks for sharing your story! I am not to familiar with minimally structured recruitments, so this was especially interesting. I can't believe there are events with boys!

[DGTess]

Thank you for sharing your story.

Your recruitment period is so much more like what I went through years and years ago. I've been reading stories, trying hard to understand the more formal processes, yet I'm refreshed to see some campuses are less structured.

Congratulations on your sisterhood!