Compatible? If not, I don't want to be XYZ...

AKA2D '91 · #1 08-06-2002, 10:18 PM

Okay you all. I saw something and I was like, huh? So, I need you all, ALL of you to help me out.

If you are interested in a organization, you go to their stuff on campus, you know what the ORGANIZATION is about, you see what the chapter does on your campus. You then meet members of the chapter on your campus. The thing is, YOU ARE NOT "FEELING" THEM, or not "feeling" some of them (personal issue(s)). Do you allow that to determine if you want to pursue membership with that organization by way of that chapter? Isn't it about the ORGANIZATION? Can one not overlook the diversity if you will, of its members and focus on the organization?

The thing is, you are only on your campus for a few semesters, anyway. After that, you carry on with your work as a member of XYZ. Then, what if you go to another organization and you like it because you "feel" the members, but they (THE ORGANIZATION) are not doing jack you know what? Then what? Are you fulfilled?

I remember (from hearing stories from older Sorors) and kind of like in our situation, who you ended up with, those were your "people". If you didn't "feel" or were not "compatible" with someone SO WHAT...you did "feel" them, you know!

RedefinedDiva · #2 08-06-2002, 10:33 PM

*Like Horshack for "Welcome Back, Kotter"* "Ooh! Ooh! I want to answer!

First off, this really happened to me. REALLY. The chapter on my campus was chock full of members that I was not "feeling." For real. I felt, as did others, that they didn't have the best interest of the org. (as a whole) at hand. They were all about some petty-type stuff. On the other hand, they did have programs that they were doing and they were really trying to make things happen. In the mean time, I did have the opportunity to get cool with members of another org. They were cooler than a fan! BUT, being cool was not my main focus. It was not the org. that I wanted. Besides that, they did NOTHING as far as community service, programs, etc. WTH?

I had to remind myself CONSTANTLY that, even if I hold/held a grudge against the members of the chapter of the org. that I wanted to join, the org. was MUCH bigger than them. For some reason, I don't think that THEY realized it, though. I would love to continue, but DISCRETION is KEY!

HumbleHeart · #3 08-07-2002, 03:49 PM

I see this as having two options, You can either continue to pursue the undergraduate organization and push for change if you make it in or you can wait on graduate membership. Notice that there is not an option to switch to a totally different sorority.

In this scenario, you are saying another sorority as a whole is not doing anything....while I cannnot fathom this as being true.....I'll continue with my opinion. As you grow, you begin to undersand that an organization/movement is larger than any one person. I think this is one of he main things people forget when it comes to EVERYTHING! So while you may have great fun with the 20 or so people that are there now, what about when you pursue graduate membership and those people are possibly no longer there.

You have to look at the BIG picture when making a lifetime committment to an organization. I think people are looking too much at the temporary reward/gains than can be attributed with joining XYZ and totally forgetting about the time commitment, financial commitment and the labor of love that goes into making the organization grow and prosper.

Professor · #4 08-08-2002, 04:52 PM

It is difficult to join an organization and called folk Brother or Soror when you don't like them and when the chapter does not do anything. I know that I would have pursued another organization because my father is in a differenty org. than Alpha but the chapter of my fathers frat at my school were dumb as hell and were not leaders. There is more to life than chasing women and looking pretty

Moving on - - - it is difficult to understand the big picture that Alpha or any other organization is more than a college chapter when you are not yet a member. Anyway, I say all chapters should represent a standard for the entire organization.

RedefinedDiva · #5 08-08-2002, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor
Moving on - - - it is difficult to understand the big picture that Alpha or any other organization is more than a college chapter when you are not yet a member. Anyway, I say all chapters should represent a standard for the entire organization.

Professor, I feel you on that statement. All chapters SHOULD represent for the ENTIRE organization. However, there are chapters out there that would swear XYZ would shut down had they not been accepted. They also turn people off with those attitudes. At my school, there were orgs. that were openly shunned because they played into the stereotypes, etc.

On the other point, yeah, it is hard for SOME non-members to think "outside of the box" (i.e. their college chapter). But, I also think that falls on the heads of those that were just doing it for the letters, t-shirt, jacket, etc. For me, being as serious about it as I am, it's hard for me understand people who don't think of an org. as an ENTIRE entity. I can't even count the people that I know that swear to the Lord above that they would pillage and kill to be a member of an org., but the second that they get rejected, etc., kick up a one man/woman campaign about how much they HATE XYZ, not LM chapter of XYZ. Or what about those that graduate and would rue the day that they attempt grad membership.

I know that things happen and personalities clash, etc., but I also know how bad I want this to even let stuff like that affect me.

exquizit · #6 08-08-2002, 11:56 PM

IMHO I feel that you can't let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch. No matter what you're involved with, there are going to be people you don't totally agree with or "feel" so you have to weigh what you feel is more important...........SOME of the people or the Org as a whole.

I mean just think about it. There may be a job that is everything that you want.Money, benifits, perks, blah, blah. There's one catch......This person you can't stand is going to be working there with you. Are you going to try and create a middle ground with that person ? Or are you going to let that stand in the way of the chance of a lifetime??????????

Sugar_N_Spice · #7 08-09-2002, 01:59 AM

I agree w/ Exquizit & Refined Diva. Basically, if you are looking to join an org. for the 'long-term' ideals it upholds, then you'll get over the few bad apples (of which every org. has, regardless of arena--they are everywhere...at your job, school, etc.)...and instead you would remain mature, maintain your composure, & try to improve the situation (which means you would work as hard as you could to possibly obtain membership and make changes within the chapter)...

It's not like you're going to be in college forever anyway...

LB1914 · #8 08-09-2002, 03:00 AM

Organizations as a whole are larger than any one particular chapter. Although every chapter should strive to represent their organization in the best manner there are chapters out there in every organization that aren't hitting on much. If you have XYZ in your heart and you like what XYZ stands for, having a couple of brothers or sisters that you may not mesh with should not stop you. Actually, if you desire XYZ and you feel that the chapter at your school is not what it should be then you should look forward to possibly helping them to turn things around.

mccoyred · #9 08-09-2002, 04:40 PM

Funny, this came up. I was just speaking with one of my mentees about Greek Life. I advised him to interact w/ members of ALL 5 D9 fraternities both on and off campus. If he feels that the org as a whole is something he wants to be a part of FOR LIFE, then he will make the right choice.

However, reading some of the comments in this thread, I think people overlook the importance of the chapter of initiation in relation to your Greek life. Your chapter of initiation makes you the XYZ you will be. (*ducking blows*) If your chapter grudgingly passes on right knowledge and protocol or has a history of hazing or prepledging or is just plain triflin', you will have to deal with those experiences. It takes more than one person, possibly even more than one line, to change a chapter.

Some people would rather deal with the foolishness of an undergrad/collegiate chapter than to dare submit at the alumnae/alumni level.

Not to mention, your intake process has a tremendous effect on how you view your org as a whole, whether you stay active or even if you affiliate with an alumnae chapter.

AKA2D '91 · #10 08-09-2002, 05:56 PM

I agree with some of the stuff that mccoyred has presented, but some of it I can't really "amen" to.

When I was an undergrad there were situations which made many of my lss bitter when it seemed as if everything was beginning to "gel". Many of us graduated being bitter. However, SOME of us went on to become GM after graduation and eventually transferring into a Graduate chapter. If I would have let the feelings I had from my LATTER experience as an UG take over, I probably would not have become active with a graduate chapter or as a GM (after graduation) and would be "out there" like many of my sorors AND many of my lss.

So, I really do not think that my UG experience determined if I wanted to remain active or not. I think it was SOMETHING I HAD TO DO!

What do you (Greeks) feel about the relationship of UG experiences determining your active or nonactive status or how you view your organization?

miss priss · #11 08-09-2002, 06:38 PM

I was told once that if it is(your yearning to be loyal and true to XYZ) in your heart who can stop you ?

Anyway,as a being you will deal with many personalities you may not like, should that hinder you from wanting to be successful and moving on with life?...NOOOOOO. IMHO, you can't change the people but you can be apart of the process that makes the changes.

With much respect....
As for experiences in UG, shouldn't it be taught to you the importance of remaining active? If not, and your views on how you feel about XYZ has changed, then where is the loyalty and who will lead the way?

tammy- · #12 08-09-2002, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva

Professor, I feel you on that statement. All chapters SHOULD represent for the ENTIRE organization. However, there are chapters out there that would swear XYZ would shut down had they not been accepted. They also turn people off with those attitudes.

SAD but SOOOOOOOO True!

Rain Man · #13 08-10-2002, 02:20 PM

First off,

An organization is only as good as the members representing it.

Second thing,

"A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump" (I Cor 5:6)

Third thing,

If members want the best prospectives, they got to be the best members they can be.

Imagine if EVERY chapter of XYZ wasn't takin' care of business and blew it off by saying "Well, our entire organization isn't like that, just us." Since every chapter is independently being about trivial and superficial things, it destroys the credibility for the organization, basicially because "the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing"

I think that all too often, members of BGLO orgs use that line as an excuse to be irresponsible and act a fool, using yesterday's news (read: the history of the organization) as the strength for the organization while doing nothing for the org today and probably not tomorrow either.

BGLO members need to stop riding the coattails of their founders and the past and make a difference for today. OK, you're just one chapter. Why set a piss-poor example and create a bad first impression for your org when you can channel that energy into making your chapter THE BEST chapter in the org.

Again, if you want the best, you got to be the best. And you can start by getting your priorities in order.

AKA2D '91 · #14 08-10-2002, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rain Man

BGLO members need to stop riding the coattails of their founders and the past and make a difference for today.

Frankly, I take offense to some of this, when I know there are many members doing great things for their organizations. Shucks, I know what I am doing and what I have done, (including my chapter) so I definately take offense. I know we are not riding our founder's coattails, but continuing the legacy with modifications that adapt to the current day, some 94.5 years later.

LB1914 · #15 08-10-2002, 10:12 PM

I agree, AKA2D'91.