Taking a Package Deal

KillarneyRose · #1 04-03-2011, 02:36 AM

Since I went through rush back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, every once in awhile I'll pop onto GreekChat with a question about how things are done these days. My oldest daughter is a few short years away from rush and I want to make sure I'm able to give her good advice when the time comes!

Anyhoo, today's question involves "package deals" during rush.

I recall that we had a couple of package deals rushing when I was in college. A girl who made it known that she and her roommate/best friend/biological sister, ect. are inseperable, and they want to pledge the same sorority.

Has this happened to you? In your experience, would your chapter give a girl a bid just because you want the other half of the package? Is it worth it to pick up a so-so girl to get someone you really want? Does it depend on how desirable the girl is? How did things work out if you did do this?

Sorry if this post is disjointed

33girl · #2 04-03-2011, 11:43 AM

Our package deals that I can recall all worked out pretty well - i.e., they didn't bring in anyone hobbitesque or anyone who caused major drama. It was usually chapter legacy + friend(s). Since we had deferred rush the whole package had usually met most of the sorority by the time recruitment rolled around anyway and it wasn't a matter of the legacy stomping her foot and insisting we take her buddy. I can't imagine doing this with pre-freshmen in fall formal rush and having sort-of-a-clue about one and no clue about the other.

If anything, sometimes the legacies were the semi-weak link and the ones who came in with them ended up being much more of a positive force in the chapter. Case in point: the legacy's best friend (at the time) who got much more festive once legacy graduated and who is the one who nagged us all onto facebook and reconnected us.

Really, I think it is a case-by-case situation.

Barbie's_Rush · #3 04-03-2011, 12:38 PM

How do you think a girl like Midge got into our chapter?

honeychile · #4 04-03-2011, 12:57 PM

I remember a terrible rush where there were two package deals! Let's call them Jackie & Jill and Candy & Sandy. It was easy to love all four of the women, and we extended a bid to all of them. The problem is, we didn't realize that Jackie & Candy hated each other, and we ended up taking only one out of the four. Absolutely no regrets about the one we got, but we all did wish we had known about that blind hatred.

But in answer to your question, if it was imperative that we took a full package deal to get the one PNM we wanted, we would definitely extended the bid to both.

FleurGirl · #5 04-03-2011, 01:30 PM

I think it depends on how the PNMs handle the situation as well. If the desireable PNM is stomping her foot demanding that we take her friend or she'll go away, that's probably not the best sign. If they are clearly very good friends who want to pledge the same sorority and both are nice people, that's a different situation.

DeltaBetaBaby · #6 04-03-2011, 02:32 PM

I think a lot of women coming through COB rushed together, and generally, we bid them together. If you like someone enough that you are inviting them to be your sister, I'd think you also, to a large degree, trust their taste in friends.

KSUViolet06 · #7 04-03-2011, 05:24 PM

We had package deals in COR, but they were never adamant about having to join with the other person. Like, Girl A would mention that Girl B was her roommate, but she never said anything like "I won't take a bid if you don't bid my friend." Luckily, we liked both people in most cases. There was one package deal situation (roommates) in which we only bid one. The girl we bid was a little disappointed that her roomie didn't get a bid, but not to the point of declining hers.

Interesting observation re: package deal friendships:

Murphy's Law states that unless the Package Deal are relatives (sisters or something,) the Package Deal NEVER remains BFFs once they both join. I've seen situations where Package Deal Girls join as freshmen, are attached at the hip for the ENTIRE year, agree to move in together, etc. Then sophomore year comes, they move in together, drama occurs, then the Package no longer speaks. lol.

It's not always that extreme. A lot of times, the Package = freshman year friends/roommates/etc. and they just grow up and find new friend groups within the chapter.

DeltaBetaBaby · #8 04-03-2011, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Murphy's Law states that unless the Package Deal are relatives (sisters or something,) the Package Deal NEVER remains BFFs once they both join. I've seen situations where Package Deal Girls join as freshmen, are attached at the hip for the ENTIRE year, agree to move in together, etc. Then sophomore year comes, they move in together, drama occurs, then the Package no longer speaks. lol.

Oh, this is an EXCELLENT point.

I think the subject differs based on whether or not you are at total. If you have three spots to fill, and taking the second girl of the package deal means you don't get someone else you want more, that is really different from taking a second girl of the deal as opposed to having an open space.

As I said, if the girl is so horrible you'd rather have an empty bed than have her in your chapter, I'd wonder a bit why you wanted the girl who is her BFF. I guess the exception could be someone without the grades to pledge, but I can't imagine being like "Suzie is a horrible slut, we don't want her, but her best friend is a wonderful person we have to have".

33girl · #9 04-03-2011, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

As I said, if the girl is so horrible you'd rather have an empty bed than have her in your chapter, I'd wonder a bit why you wanted the girl who is her BFF. I guess the exception could be someone without the grades to pledge, but I can't imagine being like "Suzie is a horrible slut, we don't want her, but her best friend is a wonderful person we have to have".

Either that, or else they're both from Teenytown BFE, and the reason that Janie and Suzie are best friends is because they were the only two females in the graduating class to go on to college. Janie has probably over the years let a lot of things that Suzie does (or a lot of the guys that Suzie does LOL) slide simply because they have more in common than the other girls who are all getting married the minute they graduate. Not only that, going from Teenytown to college is dang scary and you're happy to have anyone familiar around you.

Some of the schools around where I grew up had 30 people in a graduating class, so I can easily see this being the case.

aephi alum · #10 04-03-2011, 10:52 PM

Hee hee ... After I'd pledged my local, one of the sisters told me that everyone had thought "Cordelia" and I were a package deal, because we'd happened to walk into the rush room at the same time on the first day of rush. (Being a local, they were holding an informal rush the week after NPC rush.) I'd never seen the other girl before. They ended up bidding both of us. Each of us made positive contributions to our chapter in different ways, but she and I were oil and water. It was reeeeally interesting when we were both on e-board at the same time. LOL

We would judge each PNM on her own merits (or lack thereof), package deal or not. Think about it - if a PNM (even a legacy) is going to stomp her feet and say "either you take my BFF as well as me or you don't get either of us" - is that really the sort of person you want as a sister?

AGDee · #11 04-03-2011, 11:03 PM

Our membership selection process would make it very difficult to purposely take two women as a package deal.

In COR it might be doable.

That's all I have to say about that.

DeltaBetaBaby · #12 04-03-2011, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Hee hee ... After I'd pledged my local, one of the sisters told me that everyone had thought "Cordelia" and I were a package deal, because we'd happened to walk into the rush room at the same time on the first day of rush. (Being a local, they were holding an informal rush the week after NPC rush.) I'd never seen the other girl before. They ended up bidding both of us. Each of us made positive contributions to our chapter in different ways, but she and I were oil and water. It was reeeeally interesting when we were both on e-board at the same time. LOL

We would judge each PNM on her own merits (or lack thereof), package deal or not. Think about it - if a PNM (even a legacy) is going to stomp her feet and say "either you take my BFF as well as me or you don't get either of us" - is that really the sort of person you want as a sister?

I don't think it's so much that, I think it's more like (during COR) "oh, XYZ will probably bid Sandy and Candy, if we only bid Sandy, maybe they'll both go to XYZ".

aephi alum · #13 04-04-2011, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I don't think it's so much that, I think it's more like (during COR) "oh, XYZ will probably bid Sandy and Candy, if we only bid Sandy, maybe they'll both go to XYZ".

Even so, if Sandy is going to stomp her feet and say "you take Candy with me or else" and Candy is not ABC material... frell, let 'em both go to XYZ. Somebody who's not even a member yet (and who never may be a member, with her attitude) should not be making demands.

If Sandy is ABC material and Candy is not, offer Sandy the COB. She can then make up her own mind.... go ABC, or go XYZ with Candy.

GammaPhi88 · #14 04-04-2011, 01:02 AM

I think it's vastly different in terms of COB verses formal recruitment. In the case of formal, we have taken "package deals", but only when they both met our criteria. However, we have never taken one during formal because we wanted her friend; generally, in the whirlwind of formal rush, we are not aware of who the PNMs are best friends with. All package deals from formal don't generally present themselves until after bid day. In most cases, they're still close, however, I can think of a few roommates and freshman "BFF FOREVAAAA" types that were ecstatic to get a bid but soon ended up becoming major sources of drama.

The only exception I can think of is the year we kept one twin and cut the other; one came to us on bid day and the other went to a different chapter. Both were upset and neither initiated; I believe both dropped out fairly soon following bid day. Obviously, twins are different than two BFFs, but its still an interesting situation, unless it involves sequined hose.

In terms of COB, I can't shed as much light as on formal, mostly because my chapter has fairly limited experience with COB. The few girls we've taken through COB were girls that already have very close friends already in our chapter, and in those cases, they have been inseparable but I haven't seen as much drama following this source of "package deal". Perhaps its because they recommended their friend for membership in the sense they would be good sisters as well as good friends. Without getting too much into membership selection, having a friend in a chapter does not guarantee a bid...I've had friends I've loved but for whatever reason did not see them fitting into my particular chapter.

VandalSquirrel · #15 04-04-2011, 01:43 AM

I foresee a nightmare situation in where you think you're getting a package deal, but in fact one half isn't as keen on the other and was just being polite or friendly, if they even knew of the situation. Include alumnae or legacy status and it could get really uncomfortable.

If Amazing Amelia wants Average Angela to be her sister and also receive a bid she should start well before rush and make sure Angela gets recs and has as many advantages as possible so they can maximize their options and find somewhere that may want them both. I do wonder how women can get this message of a package deal across in formal in enough time and without it being awkward. I can see it happening more in a COR situation with less women and a greater luxury of time.