Holding Bids

[rahAU5]

Is it wise to hold bids extended during summer rush until formal fraternity rush in the fall?

[LaneSig]

Can you explain a little more, please?

[rahAU5]

Sorry, My son has attended several summer rush parties and has received a couple of bids. He has enjoyed meeting the guys in each group. His dad has advised him to wait to make his decision on which one he will accept until formal rush begins. I don't want him to offend anyone by holding the bid. How do you feel this will come across to the fraternaties?

[TSteven]

If he doesn’t like any one chapter over the other, then he may want to wait to accept until he has a clear choice. The other part of this depends on the type of bid.

Are these official bids as in he received something specific in writing from the chapter? Was any sort of timeline given or implied? Chapters that rush during the summer often like to line up as much of their incoming pledge class so that once fall rush starts, they can concentrate on the guys they have yet to met or perhaps did not get to know that well over the summer. It doesn’t necessarily mean they may not still want him, just that their attention will be with other rushees. On the flip side, if he isn’t showing interest, then the chapter might pass on him once they begin to officially hand out bids. It really depends on the chapter and the culture of the school.

If he can talk to the rush chair or if he happens to know someone well within the chapter, he might want to check to see if there are any deadlines. Sometimes, the deadlines are not anything published or official. But the chapter may feel that if he was truly interested, he would accept. Or at least get back with them to let them know he is still interested. Again, this can be different from chapter to chapter and campus to campus.

And for what it is worth, in some cases, bids received over the summer may not be officially accepted until sometime during the formal IFC rush process. That may be a school policy and he may have no choice over the matter. However, if he really likes a chapter, it doesn’t mean he can’t verbally accept a bid. Or as noted above, the chapter may be looking for him to give some sort of indication as to his interest in them.

Bottom line is that he will need to do what he feels is best for him. If he wants to wait, he should. If he knows one of the chapters is "right for him", then he should consider accepting the bid.

Best of luck to your son.

[ree-Xi]

Pardon the lane swerve, but generally speaking, how binding are bids that are promised/accepted prior to formal fraternity recruitment?

Is is a valid fear to worry that this might be taken away at some point before pledging begins. I'm not asking for MS info; I know that many fraternities have multiple votes that go on over a semester. This is different. It's a question about what typically happens as a result of summer "rush" (if there IS a typical scenario).

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Pardon the lane swerve, but generally speaking, how binding are bids that are promised/accepted prior to formal fraternity recruitment?

Is it a valid fear to worry that this might be taken away at some point before pledging begins. I'm not asking for MS info; I know that many fraternities have multiple votes that go on over a semester. This is different. It's a question about what typically happens as a result of summer "rush" (if there IS a typical scenario).

How binding a bid (official or unofficial) really is depends on the campus culture and the chapter.

I would say that in general, it is important for a rushee to at least let the chapter (rush chair, good friend in the chapter) know his continued interest in the chapter. Chapters like to be wanted, but also don’t like to be strung along.

While these are generalizations, here are two examples of summer rush at two separate colleges.

At Nebraska, bids extend during summer rush have some sort of a specific acceptance date set by each chapter. It could be the rushee is given two weeks to accept from the date the bid was extended. Or there may be a hard date like by August 1 for example. The reason fraternities at NU work this way is that with most of the chapters, pledges move right into the house at the start of the semester. So they need to have their pledge classes pretty much filled prior to when school starts. Now that doesn’t mean that someone who wasn’t rushed during the summer doesn’t come along and participate in formal rush that fall. They could and they might receive a bid. They wouldn’t be able to live in the house until either the spring semester or the following year. Living in the fraternity house is a major part of Greek Life at Nebraska. But in many ways, formal rush at NU is more of a formality for some chapters.

(Note: Some colleges start summer rush in May.)

At Kentucky, there are summer rush events. Because there aren’t “non contact” or “silence rules” that apply to IFC rush, a UK chapter may let a rushhee know they are interested in him over the summer. And that once they are officially able to extend to do so, they will extend him a bid. He can – in theory - accept the unofficial verbal bid at that time. During formal rush, he would still need to sign up for it and attend any mandatory event as required by the IFC. (I believe UK is moving or has moved to a mandatory open house for each chapter during the first day or two of formal rush, then the rushee goes where they want etc.) Unless it has changed, at Noon on the Thursday of formal rush week, official bids may be extended by the chapters. The rushee may not accept a bid until 9 a.m. on Friday. So even if he attended summer rush events, and was offered an oral bid, it is not official until Thursday at Noon when he gets it in writing. At this point he has another 21 hours to think it over. On the flip side, if he does something between the summer rush events and that Thursday, the chapter is under no obligation to extend him an official bid. For example, if he is seen attending other parties, the chapter may feel he isn’t really that interested in them anymore.

I want to also throw Ole Miss into the mix. Mississippi has a more structured formal rush usually in late September or early/mid October. However, they also have summer rush events. So similar to UK, Ole Miss chapters often “line up” pledge classes during the summer. Yet they are not able to extend the official bid until a certain date in the formal rush process. If someone is going through the formal rush thinking they have a bid in hand, they could end up being cut if they show more interest in other chapters. Or they may find out that they like some other chapter more during the formal rush process. So it can cut both ways.

The bottom line is that it is really comes down to campus culture. If most of the chapters at a campus fill (line up) their pledge class during the summer, it may behoove the rushee to accept. But he should only do so if he truly feels connected and wants to join etc. And while he might be able to wait, there is nothing that says the chapter might change their mind down the line. Or he might change his mind. Researching the specific campus IFC culture is a good thing.

[rahAU5]

Thank you all so much for your detailed responses. I believe that he has received formal bids from three groups and one verbal bid. He received bid cards with the rush chairman and president's signature at the bottom of the card. After reading your response, his dad and I have advised him to contact the rush chairman of each group to assure them he is very interested, and to confirm the final date that he must let them know of his decision. I am very proud of the way he has approached this process. He has truly looked for the group that he feels comfortable with. Again, thank you all for your insight on this subject.

[wareagle93]

AU? Auburn lol? I was somewhat in the same position as your son. However, I am an oos entering my freshman year in the fall. I did not know anyone in the greek life system at AU prior to rush, but I contacted the Greek Life System at AU and multiple fraternities well before this summer. I thought it would be hard as an oos, let alone someone above the Mason-Dixon Line, but I was very blessed and fortunate enough to receive a few bids (4 to be exact, and I took a bit off work to come down). I pledged to the one I liked the best.

Sorry for the rambling, back to you and your son's situation: I don't think you should worry (although it depends which organization's parties he went to. I asked some of the fraternities, which I was fortunate to receive a bid from, if it would be a problem-I had received 2 of the 4 at this point) and this fraternity, let's call it "Fraternity B," told me that it would not be a problem to hold the bid over the summer, although to be sure to let them know. Hope everything works out for your son!

[rahAU5]

Congratulations on finding your fraternity! I am glad that Auburn has been a welcoming place for you. It is a great school with a friendly atmosphere. It does sound like my son has had a similiar experience with summer rush. He has a really tough decision to make... there a few more events for each of the fraternities that hopefully will bring clarity for him. Thank you so much for your thoughts. You two could end up pledge brothers! Again, thank you and WAR EAGLE!

[wareagle93]

No problem, and thank you so much! I hope everything goes well for your son, and I have no doubt it will. AU is such a friendly and welcoming university, the people are fantastic. I liked all of the ones that I looked at, and it doesn't seem like there are any "bad" fraternities out there-there are great people every which way you look.

Does your son favor one or two over the rest? Or are they all even at this point?

Best of luck to your son! It'd be really neat if we do, in fact, end up pledge brothers. In my posts I refer to the fraternities whose parties I attended as "Fraternity A", etc. Once class starts and the "slots" of each organization have been set I'd be more than happy to make public, or even PM you the organization that I accepted a bid from-in the chance that your son and I are in fact/could become pledge brothers (never know who could be reading these).

War Eagle!

[rahAU5]

Yes, once this is over, and ya'll are well into the school year I would love to know where you pledged. My son likes different things about each group. He has a tough decision...as you said, there are great people in all the fraternities he has visited. Again, thank you for your input. Have a great year!

[wareagle93]

Not a problem. Best of your luck. When the time is right, and classes have gone on for quite a while, I'd love to know where your son pledged.

Thanks for the response, and war eagle!

[TSteven]

Many fraternities have two or more votes regarding membership. The first vote is to extend an invitation to pledge while the second vote may be to confirm / initiate him into the fraternity. As such, I would suggest to hold off about specific fraternities until after initiation. Or if you feel comfortable about general information like "I accepted a bid to ABC", that should be ok.

After that, I – and I expect others – would love to hear y’all’s rush experience. Frankly, we do not get many or those here at GC.

[wareagle93]

TSteven,

I don't know how RahAU5 feels about this, but I would be happy to PM you or make public the fraternity I accepted a bid from, as well as the other 3 fraternities I received a bid from, and the one I was not fortunate to receive a bid from when classes are well under way. You never know who could be reading these, and I'd hate to have someone either from the fraternity I pledged (rush chair, officer, active, etc.), or one of the 4 others that I visited, read this and have somewhat of an idea who I am. Obviously I will not be really taking part during the regular rush period in the days leading up to the start of classes, but, when the time is right, I'd be more than happy to share my experience as an oos student at the summer rush events I attended.

Have a nice day!

[TSteven]

Thanks.

To be clear, I am truly not concerned with either you or RahAU5. Y’all have been quite respectful with your posts. So keep that up. But this is more to the general “you”.

I simply want to point out that until you (the general you) are a member, when you are discussing either your chapter or other chapters by name , keep in mind that negative things either directly or indirectly said may come back to bite you (again the general you).

There are quite a few Auburn folk on these forums and they may be associated in some way – again directly or indirectly - with say XYZ chapter or know a member in your (ABC) chapter. Hearing someone poor mouth XYZ may not sit well with some of them.

Since many fraternities require two or more votes to initiate, (the general) you do not want to give any reason for someone in your chapter to vote against your membership. For some fraternities, it may only take one no vote to deny membership.

So for example, it is ok to say something like “XYZ wasn’t for me”. Or better yet, “ABC was the best fit”. But saying something like “XYZ is a bunch of tools” - while perhaps true and well known - is not.

Bottom line is that until (the general) you initiate, be respectful. One never knows who may be reading these forms and know who you are!