COB-New

cjfromelhood · #1 12-06-2010, 12:34 PM

Hello, I am currently a freshman bout to end my first semester of college. I have been hanging out with a sorority (two mixers and a game night) and I have gotten to know them all kind of well...last night they had a COB and I did not get a bid. The girl who texted me to tell me said not to be discouraged, they just want to get to know me better. Is that a load of crap, do i still have a chance next semester, should i pick another sorority...? Thanks.

Alumiyum · #2 12-06-2010, 12:39 PM

We have no way of knowing if it's a "load of crap" or not, but I wouldn't let them know you think that. Let them know you're still very interested. If there IS another sorority on campus that you feel equally comfortable with let them know you're interested, too.

This is purely anecdotal but I will say when we did COBs and several sororities showed interested in one girl it seemed to make us all look twice at her.

33girl · #3 12-06-2010, 12:42 PM

It is not a load of crap. If it was a load of crap, she wouldn't have bothered texting you to tell you to keep trying. They may have only had a few spots open and gave them to women they've known for even longer; or else it is exactly what she said, not enough women feel that they know you well enough to bid you. This is NOT a bad thing. It shows that the sorority wants to make sure the women they choose are a good fit and they're not just bidding people to get their numbers up.

Keep in touch with these women, but it wouldn't hurt to look at other groups as well. Looking at only one group your first semester is not the optimal method of picking a sorority. If any of the groups have a problem with you doing that, cross them off your list.

ASTalumna06 · #4 12-06-2010, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

It is not a load of crap. If it was a load of crap, she wouldn't have bothered texting you to tell you to keep trying. They may have only had a few spots open and gave them to women they've known for even longer; or else it is exactly what she said, not enough women feel that they know you well enough to bid you. This is NOT a bad thing. It shows that the sorority wants to make sure the women they choose are a good fit and they're not just bidding people to get their numbers up.

Keep in touch with these women, but it wouldn't hurt to look at other groups as well. Looking at only one group your first semester is not the optimal method of picking a sorority. If any of the groups have a problem with you doing that, cross them off your list.

This.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cjfromelhood

Hello, I am currently a freshman bout to end my first semester of college. I have been hanging out with a sorority (two mixers and a game night) and I have gotten to know them all kind of well....

How big is this chapter? Unless there are only 3 or 4 girls, I doubt you've "gotten to know them all" after 2 mixers and a game night. And turning it around, I'm sure they all haven't been able to get to know you, either.

Look at this as an opportunity to explore your options and/or make sure that this is the sorority that you truly want to be a part of. Meet other sorority women, and also make an effort to hang out with the girls from this sorority. It can't hurt to keep trying with them, but to also look elsewhere for the sorority experience that you want.

DubaiSis · #5 12-07-2010, 01:58 PM

Just like getting a job, cast a wide net until you have a pledge pin in hand. This may be the right chapter for you, but I'd check every other available sorority on campus first, so that you don't get left out in the cold when there is likely at least one other chapter on campus you'd be comfortable in.

But no, I wouldn't take this as blowing sunshine up your skirt. Unless she is really not thinking this through it just makes her life more difficult to string you along if she's been told you are a definite no. And depending on your campus, they could only have had 2 places to fill and, for instance, they both went to girls with sisters active in the chapter.