Social rules

[Eleven7]

FYI I am a regular poster on here. I made a new id because i want to keep anonymous since it is well known on the boards what school and what organization i am involved in.

The school year started a few weeks ago and we had our first social this past weekend. Everyone was really excited during the past weeks for the social, until we got an email saying that our social person and our president 'decided' that everyone needed to arrive by a certain time, and leave by a certain time.

Keep in mind, none of this is in our bylaws, policies and procedures, or any of our national procedures. And our chapter has never voted on such rule.

The social happened (I didn't go) and people were not allowed to leave until 1am. I was told by a sister that if someone tried to leave before 1am our chapter president was chasing down them in the parking lot.


At chapter this week, we were told that for socials, if we missed chapter on the Monday before the social (Ie we have chapter on monday and then the social is on thursday) we are not allowed to attend unless we email our judicial board and get excused for missing chapter.


Am I completely wrong or is this crap? I don't want to get my chapter in trouble, but as far as I thought, we were a democracy. Our social person and president cannot just 'decide' things.

I emailed the social person and president with my concerns and their responses were not what i thought. The social person said "But other organizations do it for the sole purpose of safety and it works for them"

Our president stated ". I even went today and double checked with GREEK ADVISOR. A lot of Greek life does this. Its just like any other event we hold and say you have to arrive at this time and can't leave till its over."


I don't really know where to go from here. It worries me that they can just make rules for socials which aren't considered mandatory events. I'm just afraid of what will happen next.

[33girl]

You CANNOT make any event mandatory that has alcohol (even if it's a 3rd party serving it) - at least that's what I've been told.

I have heard of not being allowed to go to the mixer if you miss this or that - however, this is something the whole chapter should have voted on. Ditto the arriving and leaving times if the mixer is alcohol free.

If it's a thing that required a bus to get there, I can understand it, but it doesn't sound like this is what's going on. The only "safety" issue that should come up is making sure no one drives drunk or drinks underage.

Contact the regional person who oversees your collegiate chapter (whatever she's called) and let her know this is happening.

[AOII Angel]

Your Chapter President and Social Chairman should not be unilaterally making this rule without the consent of the entire chapter. I agree with 33girl. You can contact someone higher up, or band together with a large group of your sisters and overrule these two members. Forcing sisters to stay at a social until 1am is not okay. There may be perfectly good reasons to leave earlier, and as adults, you each have the right to leave an event when you want to do so.

[KSUViolet06]

Every sorority is different, so I would contact a higher-up (i.e. regional person) about your exact policies.

For what it's worth, our rules regarding socials state that for off campus socials (ex: formal/date party/etc) members all arrive via the same bus, get a wristband, and leave on the same bus later in the evening. The bus leaves school at x time and departs the venue to come back at y time. So obviously people don't leave the venue before the bus does.

However, our events are required to end at a reasonable time since everyone has to come back together. Typically no later than like 10 or 11.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Every sorority is different, so I would contact a higher-up (i.e. regional person) about your exact policies.

For what it's worth, our rules regarding socials state that for off campus socials (ex: formal/date party/etc) members all arrive via the same bus, get a wristband, and leave on the same bus later in the evening. The bus leaves school at x time and departs the venue to come back at y time. So obviously people don't leave the venue before the bus does.

That makes sense...but it doesn't sound like the OP is going to the social on a bus. The question is, can you take a cab home if you are tired and want to leave earlier than the bus?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

That makes sense...but it doesn't sound like the OP is going to the social on a bus. The question is, can you take a cab home if you are tired and want to leave earlier than the bus?

No, BUT (and I edited my above post to reflect this) our events are required to end at a reasonable hour since people have to return together. Like 10 or 11pm at the very latest. Not 1 AM.

[Eleven7]

Thanks for the responses! I was hoping 33 and KSU would respond. I even thought of PMing you first but decided just to post.

We got an email reiterating that if we weren't at chapter on monday we would not be 'permitted to enter the social'.

We are not taking buses. Apparently (what i'm told. i'm doing reserach) is that our national org requires us to take buses to socials, which we did for formal this past year. It is hazy on 'mixers' since these are mixers with other fraternties.

They're not making the mixers mandatory, but they're telling us we have to be there by a certain time and cannot leave until 1. some girls were pissed/didn't go because they had work early in the morning.

I talked to our panhellenic president today and I am going to talk to our greek advisor about it tomorrow. Thanks for the reassurance!

[Eleven7]

This is what it states as far as buses and such.

"Safe transportation must be provided for chapter events:
1) if the event is held more than 60 minutes from college campus, whether or not alcoholic beverages will be
served.
2) if alcoholic beverages will be served, regardless of location.

Buses Safe round-trip transportation in form of buses must be provided for and used by all members and guests for
an out-of-town event. Alcohol may not be consumed by anyone on the bus. A bus company should provide a
certificate of insurance and current state and local licenses. If buses return members and guests to a central location
that is some distance from their residences, a safe means of transportation to their residences must be provided. The
chapter may hire taxis or use designated drivers/walkers to provide this service."


They've been saying we have to have buses to all events, but since its a mixer, they're letting us use the DD list instead.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Eleven7

Thanks for the responses! I was hoping 33 and KSU would respond. I even thought of PMing you first but decided just to post.

We got an email reiterating that if we weren't at chapter on monday we would not be 'permitted to enter the social'.

We are not taking buses. Apparently (what i'm told. i'm doing reserach) is that our national org requires us to take buses to socials, which we did for formal this past year. It is hazy on 'mixers' since these are mixers with other fraternties.

They're not making the mixers mandatory, but they're telling us we have to be there by a certain time and cannot leave until 1. some girls were pissed/didn't go because they had work early in the morning.

I talked to our panhellenic president today and I am going to talk to our greek advisor about it tomorrow. Thanks for the reassurance!

They shouldn't be making rules without the chapter being involved (I know every organization is different, but this seems to be an across the board thing when it comes to non-emergency situations). This has happened in my chapter several times and the solution was to challenge those who thought they could make rules. They always acknowledged things weren't being done correctly and the problem would dissolve. The key is diplomacy. (What I wanted to say: "This is OUR chapter, not YOUR chapter and we have rules for a reason." What I did say: "I don't think this is by the bylaws...let's go over them together".)

My organization has stipulations about leaving early from events, though I don't think they include FORCING members to stay. There has to be a solution besides keeping members hostage until 1am. Requiring members to attend chpater in order to attend optional social events sounds reasonable, but I'm willing to bet regardless of your organization that should be a bylaw that the chapter is involved in installing.

Also, it appears that according to your rules, if there is alcohol the chapter must provide buses. A mixer is still considered a chapter event, right? This is the kind of thing that can get a chapter in trouble. They need to consult with a higher-up to make sure they're going by the book. (Or just not serve alcohol).

[AZTheta]

To the OP:

I'm fairly familiar with the Risk and Social policies of my organization,as well as FIPG and University policies, and my organization's by-laws (which supercede everything else except State and Federal law, of course). The actives keep telling me how strict our organization is. I typically reply "that may well be, and do you find these policies to be unreasonable?" I also tell them that we are not holding anyone hostage, and they can choose to participate or not. The grumbling has decreased as they have learned that the policies are not interfering with their enjoyment of events.

That said, if your President and Social Chair created those "rules" for participating without being in compliance with your Advisory Board as well as your Inter/National HQ's policies (don't know your organization), there might be some direction and advising coming from my end of the equation to redirect their energies and "rules". That's a nice way of saying that as an advisor I'd step in and have them rethink what they proposed. I'd say it the way Alumiyum worded it, but I'd be thinking what she was thinking in my inside voice.

Further, where there's alcohol, per your quote of your national bylaws (right?) bus transportation is required. Period. You are courting major disaster otherwise. You possibly won't be covered by your fraternity insurance, for example. As for the "designated driver" idea, that will not protect the organization in the event of an accident. There are some excellent articles that detail the problems associated with "designated drivers". Risk is complicated and there are so many things that need to be accounted for and considered when planning and executing events. The most important factor is that risk is managed from the outset and then it's not a big deal at all.

It isn't unreasonable to require members to earn "points" to attend social events (e.g. attending chapter, participating in volunteer/philanthropy events, etc). My take on the situation you've described is two-fold: your chapter may not have active advisors, or the president/social chair have been told that your chapter is not complying with your organization's by-laws and policies and this is their last-minute solution since they don't have bus transportation arranged for the event.

Good luck, and I hope you can get an advisor to assist your chapter in resolving this. It's really unfortunate when, at the 11th hour and 59th minute, an advisor learns of an illegal situation and has to cancel an event. Now THAT is another story!

[angels&angles]

In my chapter/on my campus. Mixers were from 8-10, and after 10 they would open to the whole school. We were encouraged to arrive on time and stay until the mixer opened. It wasn't mandatory, and some people did arrive late/leave early, but as long as a good number of girls were there from 8-10 it was fine. It does look bad when the E-boards of both orgs put so much effort into time/place/theme/drinks and only 5-10 girls show up, or even worse everyone shows up, gets drunk in 30 minutes and then bugs out. Was your sorority having trouble with this? That could be the reason for the new rules, and I can understand Pres/Social Chair being really pissed if that's happening. Although it really should go through the whole chapter.

We did have to attend certain things to be able to go to mixers/formal. Does your sorority have a point system? We implemented one (if you want to PM me I can give you more details about the way it worked), and it really cleared up a lot of the attendance problems we have. Essentially, suggest that whatever it is girls MOST want to go to (formals were usually ours) needed a certain number of points to attend. This MIGHT help your chapter.

But mostly it sounds like your entire chapter just needs to talk about this, probably with your academic or GL advisor mediating (GL Advisor would know more about the rules, academic advisor would be more impartial and might come up with some outside-the-box ideas).

Just some thoughts. But yeah, if I were required to stay at an event until 1AM, I wouldn't go. But I don't think a one or two hour attendance is unfair.

ETA: I can't speak to the DD/bus situation, since we solved the problem by doing everything within walking distance. Busses cost money, walking is free! We did have DD's for those that needed them, but only used busses for out of town formals.

[BraveMaroon]

I have to wonder what the President's real motive is. It doesn't sound so much like she's concerned for the safety of her sisters as it does she just wants to exercise control.

As to the "no chapter", no social" - admittedly, it's been a long time since I was in the mix, but I don't see any real reason behind it. Unless the chapter has problems getting people to chapter and wants to punish them for it.

But that's not really a fix. If people aren't coming to chapter, it's a symptom of something bigger, no?

Or am I reading too much into this?

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

I have to wonder what the President's real motive is. It doesn't sound so much like she's concerned for the safety of her sisters as it does she just wants to exercise control.

As to the "no chapter", no social" - admittedly, it's been a long time since I was in the mix, but I don't see any real reason behind it. Unless the chapter has problems getting people to chapter and wants to punish them for it.

But that's not really a fix. If people aren't coming to chapter, it's a symptom of something bigger, no?

Or am I reading too much into this?

I think you're right that it sounds like the president might have other motivations for her stipulations, especially since it appears that they do not follow procedure, but I think it's reasonable to require people to show up for chapter to attend social events, IF that is written in the bylaws. We had an activity point system, but the intent was the same...show up to required events or you lose the privilege to attend the "extra" events. (Unless they have an excuse of course...sick, etc.)

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

As to the "no chapter", no social" - admittedly, it's been a long time since I was in the mix, but I don't see any real reason behind it. Unless the chapter has problems getting people to chapter and wants to punish them for it.

But that's not really a fix. If people aren't coming to chapter, it's a symptom of something bigger, no?

Or am I reading too much into this?

I don't know. We had this rule. There are always girls who LOVE mixers but hate chapter (I loved chapter, but I'm a rules and order person. But I also loved mixers... maybe too much). These girls will always have shoddy "reasons" to miss chapter, and then will complain about not being able to have their say in issues, or claim not to know about the new rules, or whatever. There's also the girls who do 1000000 activities (they're RAs, and in the musical, and in chorus, etc), and this gives some incentive to prioritize the sorority.

We actually used a point system, and you got 10 points for going to chapter, and 5 points for missing chapter but reading and signing the minutes. If you missed less than one chapter, you could pretty much make any event, and if you did miss chapter, you could make it up by wearing your badge or your letters, or doing philanthropy, or getting good grades, etc. It made it a little fairer.

God, sorry this is so long.

ETA - Agh, I knew someone would have already put up an answer...

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I think you're right that it sounds like the president might have other motivations for her stipulations, especially since it appears that they do not follow procedure, but I think it's reasonable to require people to show up for chapter to attend social events, IF that is written in the bylaws. We had an activity point system, but the intent was the same...show up to required events or you lose the privilege to attend the "extra" events. (Unless they have an excuse of course...sick, etc.)

We had the same thing many moons ago - basically, the points were weighted heavily on things like Recruitment, Chapter, Initiation Week, Philanthropy and less so for things like socials or mixers - but for the life of me, I cannot remember what happened if you didn't make enough points - I think you were fined. Suffice it to say, I always made points.

That said, we walked into each term with it laid out for us clearly in advance, so there weren't any surprises.

ETA: I actually preferred chapter to mixers most of the time because I always had early AM classes... and I was a nerd.