Mom....just STOP! (Vent)

misscherrypie · #1 08-17-2012, 06:35 PM

My Mother claimed that she spoke to someone at my University's Greek Life, and that person told her that I should withdraw myself from Recruitment before it even starts.

The first question I asked her was :" Why did you feel the need to call Greek Life anyway?"

"I was trying to save you from getting embarrassed by everyone. It's just not for you."

I replied "Mom....I understand that you care about me and that you love me....but what you did in this situation was really out of line, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying to interfere."

My Mom is anti-Greek Life and has been trying to persuade me to give the idea of recruitment up. I don't know what she is going to do next and I think that most that I can do is just go for it....and let the chips fall as they may.

I hope that this doesn't affect my chances when Recruitment begins in just a short while. :-(

I love my Mom.....but this kind of behavior is troublesome to me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

LouisaMay · #2 08-17-2012, 08:03 PM

Yes, it is troubling, but if Greek Life is something that you want to explore, then you will have to simply shake it off. No Greek Life office is going to say "get out now!" so I have a feeling that your mom is just trying to scare you. At first, I assumed that you were a first year student, but then I saw your recruitment thread. I thought your mom was just having an unhealthy response to the stress and strong emotions of a newly "empty nest," but given that you are in your late twenties, you might just be getting a glimpse of the nature of your mom's relationship to you. She hasn't allowed herself to move into her new role as the mother of an adult. That's hard for a lot of people.

You've already said all that you need to say to her. She crossed a line, and she now knows that you feel that way. Just go through recruitment. Enjoy yourself and realize that this is one part of your life that you and your mom are not going to be able to share in a warm & fuzzy way...at least for now. If you keep making adult decisions--accepting the consequences in a mature way no matter what--she will hopefully see you for the adult you are and learn to be proud that you are an independent woman who doesn't need her mom in the same way that she once did.

I hope your relationship isn't seriously wounded over this. I assume that this isn't the first time that she has acted this way. I am very close with my mom, and even in my 30s, I really appreciate her approval, but I've learned that I don't need it anymore.