Is it too late for me?

grkhope · #1 09-03-2010, 12:31 PM

I need some honest advise from you all … sorry for the long story.

I am in my sophomore year at a large, private university. We only have 9 sororities and it is very competitive. I am an out-of-state student, so I have to fly to get home to my family, while most of my friends I have met on campus last year.

As a freshman (last year), I decided to go through rush. I didn’t know anything about rush and my family didn’t have any experience with it either. As I was going through, I fell in love with one sorority. I was very fortunate because I was asked back to the maximum number of houses each day – with the one sorority I loved being my top choice on pref day. At the time, I just didn’t picture my self with any other house at all …. Didn’t even enter my mind that they wouldn’t choose me on bid night. But that was exactly what happened. I was so devastated and hurt that I couldn’t think past my shock and pain to even give the house that gave me a bid a chance. I just had never pictured myself in that sorority or gave it a chance at all …. I just turned down the bid that night.

Well, as I matured through that year and realized that I would truly be happy in almost any of the sororities, I decided to give rush a try this fall again with the open mind that I would accept the bid I was offered. It never occurred to me that all the houses would drop me on the third day. I did not even make to the last two days. To top that, my two roommates pledged to houses (one of them to the house I loved last year).

Could I have been ‘black-balled’ due to turning down a bid last year?

If my roommates put in a good word for me at their new sororites, could I possibly get a ‘silent-bid’ during spring rush. Since I didn’t get a bid this year, I assume I can participate in spring rush (even though I am not planning on signing up). Do I have to formally sign up for spring rush to get a ‘silent-bid’?

Am I too old, now that I will be a junior next year?

I really wish I had understood the repercussions of not accepting the bid when I was a freshman – I was so confused and hurt. I now know that I would have loved the house that gave me the bid – but I just couldn’t get past my shock and pain at the time.

Your honest advise would be greatly appreciated.

knight_shadow · #2 09-03-2010, 12:38 PM

Silent bid?

33girl · #3 09-03-2010, 12:51 PM

Your roommates are brand new members. Their influence may be severely limited.

You may have been dropped just because of your sophomore status. Your getting a bid last year and turning it down most likely didn't help. The term "blackball" is not used or appropriate regarding NPC recruitment.

You can sign up with the Greek life office if that option is offered. Whether you HAVE to sign up with them to get a bid in the spring depends on your school. Even if there are groups that are just discreetly COBing friends of members and not holding organized rush parties (k_s, that's what she means by "silent bid") you may still have to be signed up at the Greek life office. Call them and ask.

Is it just me or is this almost the same thread?

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=115776

knight_shadow · #4 09-03-2010, 01:03 PM

Thanks 33girl. I hadn't heard that term before.

AZTheta · #5 09-03-2010, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Is it just me or is this almost the same thread?

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=115776

*nods head in agreement*

To the OP: your disappointment is understandable, but in this case, it appears you were the architect of your own demise. This is not meant harshly or cruelly, but as an observation, based on the facts you provided.

We do not discuss membership selection on GC. And you do not know the reason(s) you were released from all chapters on the third day this latest go-around. Neither do we. And it isn't any of our business.

Turn your attention and focus to involvement in other areas of college life. Continue to focus on your studies. You have had two opportunities; if membership in a GLO is meant to happen, it will happen, as trite as that may sound to you.

violetpretty · #6 09-03-2010, 03:19 PM

Understand that regardless of whether a chapter does open COB recruitment parties or does "silent bids", they can only do either if they have spots to fill to get to total. So, it's not a matter of getting the "silent bid chapters" to notice you. I'd advise you to be on the COB list, as the Greek Life office will probably pass that on to any chapters with spots to fill, regardless of the methods of obtaining new members. However, what they do with that list is up to them, which is why you need to talk to your friends in person and mention your interest.