A little disappointed

Parfait · #1 08-29-2010, 01:12 PM

Recruitment hasn't quite started yet but there are various things to promote Greek life. I went down to check out what was there and talk to a few people, it could've been fun, but my roommate was a bit of a downer. =(

Her take: "Prissy, stuck-up bitches that I left back in high school, I don't want to pay to be around them now. I guess they do throw some sick parties."
She didn't say that to anyone's face, but she outright said she didn't see the point and was a bit rude to some of the members. That quote was when we were walking back to our rooms.

My take: I'd like to go through recruitment, meet some people, perhaps find a new "home" and get to know some wonderful people. If I don't join, that's okay, too, there are lots of things around campus. I mean, if I get cut or something I'll probably be a bit hurt, but I'll get over it.

Overall we do get along, but it was just a little disappointing that going into recruitment I probably won't know a single person as it seems no one I've become somewhat-buds with are interested.
I guess this isn't really related to much, I just wish it wasn't something I was going at alone.

violetpretty · #2 08-29-2010, 01:20 PM

Yikes, I hope the members don't think you think the same as your roommate!

violetpretty · #3 08-29-2010, 01:25 PM

This won't be such a big deal when you meet your Rho Gamma/Rho Chi/Pi Chi/whatever and your group. You'll meet tons of other women who are interested in going Greek.

Also, it's a not a bad thing that you're the only one of your friends going through. You won't be influenced by their opinions, you won't feel pressured to join the same chapter, etc.

HappyKappaMom · #4 08-29-2010, 01:33 PM

College is a place to grow, try new things and meet new people. Give it a go with a positive attitude. Don't let other people form your opinions.

Best wishes.

DubaiSis · #5 08-29-2010, 02:02 PM

Neither of my freshman year roommates were sorority women. You just sort of go about your lives separately. You know she's wrong so just try to block it out.

DGTess · #6 08-29-2010, 02:40 PM

Only a little disappointed?

Women don't sign up for rush if they don't feel they could belong. They won't stay if they understand what "sisterhood" means to your sisters.

I'm sorry your sisters feel this way.

AOEforme · #7 08-29-2010, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Neither of my freshman year roommates were sorority women. You just sort of go about your lives separately. You know she's wrong so just try to block it out.

Concur. 95% of my freshman year friends weren't greek (and most of that 5% who were Greek were aiming for the NPHC, so they weren't Greek at the time and I didn't know they were interested in it

)

Basically, do your own thang. It will make you happier in the long run, even if you have to listen to people say they no longer respect you, tease you about being a slut, or ponder at your shallowness. (Been there, done that.) DubaiSis is right- go with what you know about Greek Life and block it out.

Also, don't try and persuade her to go through recruitment, as I did with one of my friends. You end up fighting about who is right about Greek Life, and it just perpetuates the arguments you don't want to have.

You also get a better change to get close with girls in your Rho Gam group which is fabulous!

Finally, make sure to keep your non-greek friends. You'll need them on days when sorority life is too crazy. I lived with non-greeks until my senior year, and it was nice to come home to people who weren't obsessed with Greek Week and Pomping.

Good luck!

myopicsunflower · #8 08-29-2010, 02:57 PM

You're always going to run into people like that. I remember visiting the UCLA campus with a friend when I was in undergrad, and I wanted to drive past the sorority houses -- this request was met with "OH MY GAWD!!! Bunch of stuck-up bimbos! I can't believe YOU joined! Any daughter of mine will NOT!!" I knew that my friend had a skewed view of what Greek life was about, but I couldn't help thinking, "Geez, is that what you think of me?"

Now that I've been out of college for a while and have seen that some people never get past that negative attitude, I realize that some people bash Greek organizations, because they were so afraid of being rejected, they never even rushed. It's kind of a "you can't reject me, because I rejected you first." And this kind of attitude isn't unique to Greek organizations -- I've seen people take the same attitude toward other clubs and community groups or even companies they would like to have worked for.

I wouldn't worry too much about not knowing any other PNMs going into recruitment. You will meet girls in your Rho Gam group, and you are going to meet lots of women in the Greek community as you go to the parties. And you'll make other friends in your classes.

I love AOEforme's advice about "do your own thang." Greek life isn't for everyone, but if you know it's right for you, that's what matters.

Good luck!!!

violetpretty · #9 08-29-2010, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DGTess

Only a little disappointed?

Women don't sign up for rush if they don't feel they could belong. They won't stay if they understand what "sisterhood" means to your sisters.

I'm sorry your sisters feel this way.

The OP annd her roommate (not greek) went to meet sorority women. The OP is interested in joining and her roommate was the one who made the disparaging remarks.

scrapinfificat · #10 08-29-2010, 04:00 PM

Parfait if this is what your heart desires then go for it - don't look back, no regrets. I agree with Myopicsunflower some peoples first line of defense is to reject before they are rejected. I hope that both you & your roommate find a special group of friends that allows both of you to shine. Keep a open mind & heart during recruitment. Remember pref night is special - it reveals the heart of each group. Stick with it you have nothing to lose no matter how recruitment turns out for you. College is about gaining knowledge and the most important knowledge you will ever gain is about yourself.

Parfait · #11 08-29-2010, 05:39 PM

Thank you, the support means a lot. =)
There's more info tonight and I'm going to that alone (assuming I can find it, they forgot to add a location!) and basically told my roommate that I will see her after. We're both adults, I think we can manage to be alone for a little bit.

She's been very nice to me, but I suppose we just have some different views on things. Welcome to life.

Rubberduckie · #12 08-29-2010, 05:56 PM

Sorry to hear things are not good for you.

I grew up in a very Greek Family. (My mother and sister are both in Pi Beta Phi, my father is a member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon, and my brother is going through fraternity recruitment currently). I grew up watching my mother attend events for her alumna chapter and write letters of recommendation for college-age girls. I assumed that everyone wanted to go Greek.

Consequently, I was shocked when I got to college and found that not everyone shared my sentiments about Greek Life. It was the first time I had heard a bad reputation of Greek Life and I was surprised at the number of people who didn't even consider going to recruitment.

When I finally got to recruitment, my sister was not pleased with my choice of organization. I did it because it was best for me and my life. It was what made me happy. (My sister has very much come around now, but it was hard for her at first).

Go out there and be brilliant! Let your roommate make her own choices, even if we all know how very wrong she is.

You are the smart one and you will reap the rewards!

Parfait · #13 08-29-2010, 07:47 PM

I'm really glad that I went to the info session, even though I went alone. Not many people showed up, but it was just a "a bit about Greek life" type thing.
I really liked how honest they were at the meeting about grades, bids, being released or withdrawing, alcohol, what the parties were like, and stereotypes.

So I guess we'll just see how it goes. =) I'm pretty excited for it, I love meeting people. Hopefully they'll see my roommate and I are not the same person although I'd like to remain friends.

HappyKappaMom · #14 08-29-2010, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parfait

Thank you, the support means a lot. =)
There's more info tonight and I'm going to that alone (assuming I can find it, they forgot to add a location!) and basically told my roommate that I will see her after. We're both adults, I think we can manage to be alone for a little bit.

She's been very nice to me, but I suppose we just have some different views on things. Welcome to life.

Good for you; go for it! You have nothing to lose by checking it out -- might work, might not. But if you never try, you'll never know.

Roommates are not all destined to be best friends. You may find your best friends in a sorority, like my daughter did. She & her first roommate had NOTHING in common. Four years later, mine's happy as a clam and the roommate dropped out.

Best wishes! Keep us posted. I love reading those stories.

Kansas City · #15 09-03-2010, 10:51 AM

Don't worry Parfait. Get to know the chapters and let them get to know you. They will see your enthuaism and will take note of your roommate's lack of such. The chapter's know that you are two seperate people. I'm certain you will have a very positive experience once you actually get a full weekend on campus and get to know people outside of your residence hall and classes. Recruitment is the best way to meet new people and get involved in the university community and it all starts with your Gamma Chi group. Thoes ladies will be going through the same thing you are at the same time and will have many of the same fears, excitements and disapointments no matter the outcome of recruitment. Your roommate, especially if you were randomly placed, obviously will not have the same feelings towards activities as you so it's time to seek out others that have similar likes and dislikes. Good luck in finding your home. I hopeto hear how things turn out for you. ; )